What you’re experiencing is the psychological power of novelty, specifically a new environment. There is this fantastic series of research by the researcher David Gonzalez and his team between 2016-2022 which essentially explored the importance of novelty for our memory, neurons and, crucially, for our personality. They found that, when looking at thousands of people, those who had novel experiences, put themselves in new environments, tried new things – food, music, movies – were much happier and also had a deeper sense of personal alignment.
For example, one 2017 study observed production workers who were given novel tasks once a shift, they found they had more grey matter in their brains afterwards compared to those who did not have an unfamiliar problem to solve. Grey matter is essentially for daily functioning but also memory and emotion.
Basically by going out and exploring, seeing beyond ourselves and our daily lives, we are somehow able to know ourselves better.
Why is that? Because we continue to make sure their brains were plastic and adaptable. Your brain was built for newness and to see the world and be challenged, taste berries, experience awe when seeing a waterfall, meet new people. When it doesn’t get that I kind of imagine it kind of turns into a zoo animal of sorts, pacing up and down, up and down, it’s cage.
Get into new spaces and new environments whenever you can – different routes to work, study in a new library, watch something new at night instead of the same episode of The Office, for the 5th time in a row (guilty as charged). You will literally feel the difference in your wiring as your brain, your mind moves from stagnant, bored, to expansive and curious.
Tip number 4: Have a completely unproductive goal and make it really, really random.
Totally weird, totally separate from everything else you’re doing in life, a side quest if you will that will take effort and time!
Some examples I had in my notebook:
Read 5 biographies about artists you admire
Memorise all 196 flags
Go to every museum where you live before the end of the year
Paint portraits for every one of your friends by the end of the year
Learn how to make your own clothes
Cook through an entire cookbook
Befriend a crow
Saying it now, I think the core element of this is whimsy and a lack of seriousness, but still a need for trying and striving. All of those goals are achievable with effort, but they also all tap into something we’ve really been discussing this whole episode: a sense of wonder and humanness that we’ve lost.
What is the deeper psychological justification for this though?
Essentially it’s about diversifying your personality the way people diversify investments, which I know sounds bizarre, but you can’t be defined by one thing and think that will deliver you a happy life.
In our 20s particularly, there is this major emphasis on being focused, selective, choosing one path to specialise in – whether it’s choosing a major, choosing a hobby, choosing a literal career path and working it until you retire, basically concentrating your effort on one thing. That may bring results – does it make you feel alive, does it keep you connected to who you are? Let’s be honest, not always.
We get that laser focus, and everything else fades away and so what happens when that thing isn’t satisfying anymore, when we want to change, when the main focus drops off? You’re left contemplating who you are and life feels, what’s the best word for this: narrow.
That’s why I need you to be collecting side quests.
Consider it personality insurance: if the things I typically base my personality on – work, relationships, accolades, praise, passion - fade, become exhausting or don’t inspire anymore, I’ll still know who I am because I am expressing myself elsewhere in a way that feels meaningful and real to me.
Tip number 5: start any kind of journal.