Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
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Channel Posts
My girlfriend in no longer happy with our arrangement, after 4 years... I need to learn how to do her.
Hello
I'm a straight romantic asexual male (26M), and my partner is a 26F. We have been together since 22, she knew i was not into sex. But I still tried my best to become physical with her.
Today, 32 days before we get 4 years together, while in a hotel, she tells me that my sex is not good enough, and that she don't feel like she could live the rest of her life like that.
She tells me she understands it is not my fault, and that it is my body and I can not control it. (no, I don't feel pleasure from it, and usually have problem starting or finishing)
She gave me an ultimatum, to get my mind and choose what will happen with the rest of our lifes. That she hopes she haven't lost so many years of her life...
Honestly, I have a week to learn to be a good lover. Need help on what to do or where to start
https://redd.it/1uv13tk
@asexualityonreddit
| 2 | I had to explain to my mate that asexuals can be horny.
Ok so I'm pretty sure I'm asexual.
And I told my friend JJ (fake name) that I was asexual and she said "oh wow so you just never feel horny, isn't that weird?"
And I awkwardly laughed and said "I mean I do but I don't act on it cus I don't want to" and JJ was so confused and she then told me "Well if your horny then you clearly want to have sex, you can't be asexual and horny"
I tried to explain how physical body reactions are different from mental reactions but she didn't listen and kept laughing at me.
So I went home after school and after talking to her. Google it and screenshoted and sent it to her and then she got all ghost on me and didn't message me all weekend and when I brought up to her at school he said that I was too invested in this topic.
Am I wrong. Asexuals can be horny right? I'm not crazy. Trust.
Anyway this was months about but it's 2:45 in the morning, I can't sleep and I'm overthinking.
Have a good day/night
So
https://redd.it/1uuy0q4
@asexualityonreddit | 11 |
| 3 | Am I Asexual?
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1uv0sko
@asexualityonreddit | 11 |
| 4 | An idea about why we are sometimes excluded from the LGBTQ community
I think aromantics and asexuals experience primarily erasure, while other LGBTQ groups experience primarily vilification as their forms of discrimination. Obviously itās more complicated than that, but that seems to be the pattern I see. A part of the erasure is the lack of acknowledgement that erasure is even a real problem. When our version of discrimination is not acknowledged, others can find it confusing or even offensive when we try to say we want a space among LGBTQ people or support and advocates, because it seems like we experience no hardship at all and are therefore no different from straight people.
For a little context, I am aroace. I am fine with romance and sexual things involving other people, but when I am involved, I can feel anything ranging from mild discomfort to physical tension, sweating, and nausea. I was also in a relationship for 3 years which included romantic and sexual things. I was uncomfortable almost the entire time whenever I was with my ex, but I so desperately wanted to be ānormalā that I didnāt break up. Actually, she broke up with me because of how distant I was.
Obviously thereās a reason why I and others force themselves into relationships or do any number of other things. In my experience, it has always stemmed from erasure. The idea that every person experiences romantic and sexual feelings means that without them, you are not a complete person. If everyone starts feeling sexual attraction as a milestone of growing up, then not feeling it means you are falling behind. Etc.
Here is where my reasoning may get shaky, because I am only aroace and not anything else, so I do not have personal experience with other forms of LGBTQ discrimination. This is just what Iāve noticed secondhand and from talking to people. Correct me if Iām wrong. What Iāve noticed is that discrimination against, say, trans women is very different. People generally know about the concept of a trans woman and understand that some people feel differently about gender (although their understanding is often distorted). The crux of the issue is that some people think that that difference is wrong in some way, maybe as a sin, maybe as a mental illness, maybe something else. A lot of the discrimination Iāve seen against trans, gay, lesbian, bi, etc people falls more under this type of discrimination - what I would call vilification, although there is likely a better term for it that already exists.
Our flavor of discrimination is largely invisible and often not acknowledged. This leads to people arguing that we are ājust straightā and similar ideas. I also think it leads to our knee jerk reaction to post mostly vilifying discriminatory instances of aphobia online instead of experiences of erasure, even if sometimes the erasure goes much deeper. Showcasing vilification is a way to prove that we suffer in an acceptable way.
What are you guysā thoughts on this?
https://redd.it/1uuuoai
@asexualityonreddit | 11 |
| 5 | if I can name five things better than sex and I asexual
I can easily list 5 things that are better than sex-
1.) reading animorphs
2.) making fun of the people on the carnivore diet
3.) Hetalia roleplay
4.) listening to frontier psychiatrist by The avalanches
5.) sleeping
https://redd.it/1uv1dit
@asexualityonreddit | 7 |
| 6 |  CottenTailVa
https://redd.it/1uuzqvc
@asexualityonreddit | 12 |
| 7 |  This image defines me.
https://redd.it/1uuvn70
@asexualityonreddit | 15 |
| 8 |  +9No text... | 19 |
| 9 | We made a Pride-themed collection of Coat of Arms and are looking for feedback for designs for Genderqueer and Queer. Always got cool ideas and responses from here so help, suggestions, and any ideas are very much welcome :D
https://redd.it/1uusln6
@asexualityonreddit | 17 |
| 10 |  +4No text... | 14 |
| 11 | Asexual artists :)
https://redd.it/1uuqzqi
@asexualityonreddit | 12 |
| 12 |  Me
https://redd.it/1uuo9pe
@asexualityonreddit | 16 |
| 13 | Update Iām coming out today!!!
I came out to my brother and he supported me!
He said he doesnāt care what my sexuality is!
He said heās cool with me being asexual and genuinely thinks Iām biromantic or lesbian. But I havenāt figured out that part yet. Thatās just want he thinks.
But Iām so happy! This went WAY better than I thought it would!!!
https://redd.it/1uuk3ot
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 14 |  For aces in the UK, how do we feel about Channel 4's Virgin Island? Do you feel that it reinforces compulsory sexuality?
https://redd.it/1uul5b1
@asexualityonreddit | 23 |
| 15 | I feel really empty
Ever since I realized I was asexual, I have never managed to fully accept it. From my own perspective, it isn't really a problem, but the society we live in makes me feel deeply lost almost guilty. I see everyone else chasing after something, while I have no real direction to follow. I feel like Iām in a state of constant waiting, knowing full well that what Iām waiting for will never come, simply because I donāt experience sexual attraction. This leaves me with a sense of emptiness. I often ask myself, "So, where do I fit into all of this?" It feels as though asexuality is the only sexual orientation that leaves you standing still; objectively speaking, that isn't a bad thing, but in a sex-obsessed society, itās impossible not to feel different.
https://redd.it/1uudt1m
@asexualityonreddit | 28 |
| 16 | Am I asexual or just scared??
I'm 19F and beginning to question if maybe I fall somewhere on the ace spectrum. I currently identify as a lesbian but I don't know if I can stomach sex. I've only ever dated one person and not even super seriously so I'm pretty inexperienced so that could be a factor, but i do like kissing and definitely felt like I wanted to kiss her. but the thought of being sexual in relationships just kind of scares me. I feel like I'm realizing how much sex takes up space in a romantic connection and it is kind of ruining it for me? the thought of someone seeing me in a sexual manner is terrifying and makes me feel uncomfortable and disgusted. I love the idea of sweet, innocent love, caring for one another and physical affection i just dont know if sex is something that's not for me or if its just my lack of experience that makes me feel this way. im a pretty anxious person so its not unusual for me to feel super scared, i was really really scared of dating before I tried it and kissing before I tried it so I truly dont know if this is a similar thing. please help!!ā
https://redd.it/1uu4fvy
@asexualityonreddit | 35 |
| 17 | I don't understand the line between romantic and platonic relations.
/r/asexuality/comments/1uu6k25/i_dont_understand_the_line_between_romantic_and/
https://redd.it/1uu6lgc
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
| 18 | Attorney Mark Hardie Comes Out as āFirstā Asexual Candidate for California Secretary of State
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaW39xbN5PM/
https://redd.it/1uu27nv
@asexualityonreddit | 30 |
| 19 | Is anyone else here on the autism spectrum and ace?
I feel alone being autistic, ace, non-binary, and transmasculine.
https://redd.it/1uu3tw2
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 20 |  Sometimes it's nice just to have a little plutonic fun:
https://redd.it/1uu1ayh
@asexualityonreddit | 24 |
