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Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels
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频道帖子
little joke coming out of my first pride event
be me after i find out im ace: i mean the ace flag is nice and all
me 6.78591527 seconds after touching my first ace flag: PURPLEEEE oh also white gray and black i guess
visual representation ↓
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🤍🩶🖤
https://redd.it/1u4ri3x
@asexualityonreddit
| 2 | Nepal:**
> *"We can't just order it and we don't find it here in shops. We spend time and energy finding the cloth... We have to make do with other cloths, the windcheater material... and most of the time we don't even get it in the colors... of course it's going to take emotional and labor to go search for it, the measurements, the description to the people who stitch it."*
> **On the social reality of switching flags:**
> *"Asexual flag has finally started to be seen... changing the ace flag right now is something that is impossible for us to do... there will not be stability and there will just be more confusion within the Nepali queer community."*
> **On why the word "Ally" is sacred to their survival:**
> *"The word ally has been one of the most helpful words for many, many, many of us... because we are not individualistic people, we are very, very rooted in community... having that one word and the safety to be an ally and to enter a queer space is something that has helped us and propelled us to find where we stand."*
> *"When we remove the 'ally' word from the flag, we strip it of the meaning and the importance of that here, which will take ace-aro activism decades behind in the place where we live."*
> **On human complexity over internet theories:**
> *"This debate and discourse has brought into light how human we all are, how much of a utopia the ace-aro community wish—I wish—was... we are as much part of the community, we're not the alien, we're not the robot, we're not the plants that exist outside of human civilization."*
> **The final plea to the global community:**
> *"Nothing for us without us. If it is to represent asexuals globally and be included, then I hope our small, tiny country is not made to feel small and tiny... and that our things that stop us from changing the flag right now do not make us feel like we are racist or we are out of the loop."*
I would appreciate user and mods' help in spreading and sharing this post on other subreddits, as I believe it is vitally important to consider the resilient Aspec community in Nepal.
https://redd.it/1u4q9i4
@asexualityonreddit | 10 |
| 3 | Message to global Ace community from Nepali Aspecs regarding Ace Flag 2026
### Videos
[Part 1](https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZfa7KXTXIr/) · [Part 2](https://www.instagram.com/reels/DZfclh0Bfyj/)
### Comprehensive Summary of Dr. Manita's Message
In her speech, Dr. Manita Newa Khadgi offers a reality check from the ground in Nepal. She explains that while Western internet spaces can easily switch digital graphics and order new flags, the physical, social, and cultural reality of organizing an asexual/aromantic (*aspec*) community in Nepal makes such a switch not only practically impossible but socially damaging.
#### 1. The Extreme Isolation of Nepali Aspecs
In Nepal, asexual (*ayounik*) and aromantic (*ayopranayatmik*) identities are virtually non-existent in public awareness. Dr. Manita emphasizes that **99.99% of people have never heard these terms**, and those who do hear them for the first time cannot even begin to grasp what they mean. After six years of grueling, grassroots activism, the traditional 4-stripe flag has only just begun to gain a tiny shred of visibility in broader queer spaces.
#### 2. The Physical and Resource Struggles of Pride in Nepal
For the Nepali community, pride flags are not commodities that can be ordered online or bought at a store. Every single flag is a labor of love, pain, and scarce resources:
* There is no specialized "flag fabric" available to them.
* They must manually search for cheap, alternative materials, such as windcheater fabric (which is affordable, light, and waterproof).
* They often cannot find the correct colors and must settle for regular clothing fabric.
* They have to physically take these fabrics to local tailors, painstakingly explain the stripe measurements, and describe what they are making to people who have no concept of queer identities.
* Because flags are so rare and expensive to produce, the community operates on a system of lending and borrowing; they do not have the privilege of simply throwing away old flags to buy new ones.
#### 3. Why the "Ally" Concept is a Social Lifeline
While Western discourses criticize the white stripe for representing "allies" rather than purely asexual experiences, Dr. Manita explains that **the concept of the "ally" is a vital safety net in Nepal**.
Nepal is a collectivist society where individualistic identity is highly discouraged and community roots are deep. For many closeted or questioning individuals, entering a queer space under the safe label of an "ally" is the only way they can explore their identity without facing immediate social exile. Over time, this safe "ally" gateway allows them to slowly and safely find themselves on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. Stripping the flag of this "ally" connection actively harms their ability to bring questioning people into their community.
#### 4. The Plea: "Nothing For Us Without Us"
Dr. Manita expresses deep distress over the online pressure that implicitly labels those who do not adopt the 6-stripe flag as "racist" or "out of touch." She clarifies that the Nepali community deeply respects the creator of the new flag, but they simply do not possess the societal stability, resources, or safety to implement it. To switch flags now would destroy the fragile, hard-won visibility they have built over six years and alienate the local allies who keep their community alive.
---
### Highlighted Quotes
> **On public awareness in Nepal:**
> *"Nepal is a place where the words asexual (ayounik) and aromantic (ayopranayatmik) is something that 99.99% people have never heard, and when they hear it the first time, even the inkling of what it means is something people will not understand."*
> **On the pressure of online discourse:**
> *"Subconsciously it feels like in the ace community that if we are not choosing the six-stripe flag, we are aligning with English-speaking and white people who believe they are superior... No one has told us to choose, but this pressure to prove that we are allies and that we are not racists..."*
> **On the painstaking reality of making flags in | 7 |
| 4 | I'm tired of the stigma of asexual people not being allowed to be attractive
I'm a confident female with a sensual & elegant style of dressing and sometimes expressing or representing myself, since I do a lot of artistic displays and as an asexual that's even sex-repulsed, I do find respect, comfort and empowerment through sensuality and erotism by my own rules.
​
I never play the teasing into people, I don't like to involve other people because I know that could be confusing, and because I actually like the intimacy of my identity being only myself that way. Unfortunately, it charms or attracts other people inevitably, and I always make it clear from the beginning that I'm not interested in sex and that I'm not pushing my boundaries, and that the way I display myself in my artistic disciplines does not mean I'm doing it for the sake of "that" or that it means an "open invitation"
​
I was actually meeting a boy slowly into romantic terms, and he threw one of the most nerve-wracking comment/question I could ever receive. "But why don't you like sex, if the way you dress or act looks like you're calling for it?" "It's just strange for me that you reject something when you act like that". Even after explaining what it means to me and having to teach the differences with sexual orientation and own individual identity & style, he just left in a rush and never brought the topic again
​
But now, I'm mad, because I opened my heart to someone who's having those judgemental comments about me and was probably just seeking me in first place because he thought I was "an easy catch, and attractive"
​
I'm done of all the oppression the asexual community faces, everyone is supposedly encouraging open wide sexuality and everyone being comfortable with what they like, but when it comes to people actively being happy with not having sex at all when they're attractive, suddenly it's "weird" and "a waste".
​
Not having sex means the same freedom as having it with whoever you want and like. We're also valid
https://redd.it/1u4kvon
@asexualityonreddit | 10 |
| 5 |  Can we claim Tintin as an unofficial ace representation?
https://redd.it/1u4mjcp
@asexualityonreddit | 11 |
| 6 |  Got bored so I made myself pride bracelets
https://redd.it/1u4ke5l
@asexualityonreddit | 14 |
| 7 |  Did my nails up for Pride
https://redd.it/1u4ih4z
@asexualityonreddit | 16 |
| 8 |  +1没有文字... | 18 |
| 9 | Finally found the Ace ring I wanted!
https://redd.it/1u4iy6j
@asexualityonreddit | 17 |
| 10 | Before you started to identify as asexual, did any of you believe that wasn’t possible?
I can’t be asexual. I’m [BLANK\]!
I knew of asexuality before I knew what it actually was. I think that because I didn’t really understand it, I believed that I couldn’t be that.
I might have believed that being asexual meant that you felt “nothing” down there. Like it as dead as a doorknob. You felt basically had no sexuality at all. You never watched porn, you didn’t experience arousal, didn’t have fantasies, and never masturbated. Just a totally sexless person.
Obviously, my point of view expanded beyond that. Now I see activists like Yasmin Benoit and know that being asexual doesn’t mean you’re a prude or your life is totally unrelated to sex. But it’s fine if it is too!
Ace is a spectrum, and I think that if I knew that I would have understood myself much better much sooner.
Anyway, if you have any, what were your reasons why you “couldn’t be asexual”?
https://redd.it/1u4drck
@asexualityonreddit | 23 |
| 11 |  Jasper says happy pride month!
https://redd.it/1u45mhe
@asexualityonreddit | 31 |
| 12 | This Pride Month, LGBTQIA+ Refugees in South Sudan’s Gorom Camp Need More Than Visibility. We Need to Survive please don’t forget us.
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1u42y9y
https://redd.it/1u46pcg
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
| 13 |  😂😂😂😐
https://redd.it/1u3i6ed
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 14 | I'm Tired
I'm tired of people telling me I'll get over my asexuality when I have s*x. I. Don't. Want. To. It disgusts me. I physically gag. Leave me alone.
https://redd.it/1u44d0r
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
| 15 |  I just need to study him.
https://redd.it/1u41vui
@asexualityonreddit | 25 |
| 16 | Uncomfortable with the number of posts here from jilted partners assuming their SOs are ace
It feels like a lot more people are stumbling into this sub after doing like 10 minutes of googling to "diagnose" their partner as asexual. Not even like a "I think my partner is ace, how do I talk to them?" More "we've been married and they seem to hate me and hate sex and just won't accept my assertion that they MUST be asexual". And also it's the worst thing in the world. And our advice is always the same: talk to them or leave the damn relationship.
No perspectives from the partner. Just a person who should be in therapy (or couples therapy), or should be on relationship advice subs.
I'm not against posts from allo partners asking questions, or even from people asking for help on how to communicate with their partner that they suspect is ace-spec. I'm here for folks engaging with the community in good faith and curiousity. I'm against posts that paint us as a "problem" and air out a bunch of stuff that we do not need to know about their private life.
It feels like I'm seeing it more, and it's getting frustrating that the community's attention is being hijacked by people effectively venting about a relationship that doesn't meet their needs, and deciding to make that our problem.
A bit of a vent, sorry.
https://redd.it/1u3wn3a
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
| 17 | Just a question cause i am curious.
So, i had this really weird experience a few weeks ago. so i came out as asexual about a month ago and my parents called it a phase and legit the only ones who were supportive were folk from the Theatre club where i go to. so before i came out, i spent years agonizing over if i was really asexual or just straight and i was embrassed to come out cause i though if i am not really ace instead i am a repressed straight guy and i come out as ace, i will be acephobic. so did othets have this while realizing that its painfully obvious that you are ace
https://redd.it/1u3yxxy
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
| 18 | Aphobia is in many ways repackaged biphobia
Let's play: Are they talking about asexuals or bisexuals?
\-"You're not really LGBTQ because you can hide it"
\-"You're just faking being different for attention"
\-"Oh, so everyone needs their own special identity now?"
\-"Sounds like you're a loser who can't pull women, so you've decided this to feel better"
\-"Sounds like you've dated too many assholes and now you hate men so you've decided this to feel better"
\-"That's unnatural"
\-"These identities are diluting our community. Pride isn't the same any more"
\-"You're just gay but you won't admit it"
\-"I don't understand why you've chosen this lifestyle"
\-"We've all felt like that sometimes, but that doesn't make it an orientation"
\-"Come on, you must be one or the other"
\-"That was never a thing before"
\-"What have your group ever done for LGBT rights?"
\-"But you've only dated one person, so how can you know?"
\-"This is a phase you'll grow out of"
\-"Is this a hormone thing?"
\-"So you just don't want to commit to anything, huh?"
\-"So have you ever slept with a man? How many times? Did you like it?"
\-[asks you about your sexual history\] "Well, sounds like you're straight to me"
\-"Nobody will ever want to be in a relationship with you if you keep saying that"
\-"That's a trauma response. Were you abused?"
\-"But you have a boyfriend!"
\-"Typical woke woman. You will never know the joy of a real traditional life with a real loving marriage"
\-"You need a real man in your life to show you what you like. I can show you a good time, babe"
\-"Who cares what you do with your dick? Get a real personality"
\-"Why are you going to Pride? You don't have to tell anyone that private stuff"
\-"Don't say that to your younger siblings - you'll confuse them and give them ideas"
\-"Nobody discriminates against you. Gay and trans people have real problems"
\-"So you just lie to people and trick them?"
\-"Actual gays can't help it, but selfish people like you are why fertility rates are falling"
\-"These people normally just have a mental illness. They need help"
\-"You're spiritually damaged by demonic influence"
\-"Is that a kink thing?"
\-"What next, people will want to marry houseplants?"
\-"You want to be oppressed so badly"
\-"A real man isn't like that"
\-"How come you only discovered this in your 40s? Must be a midlife crisis after your divorce"
\-"I knew someone who thought they were that, but it was because they were a drug addict"
\-"Stay out of our safe space. Only real lesbians belong here"
\-"That's so unfair on your partner. They deserve someone they know is committed to them and really loves them"
\-"You'll find a nice man soon and settle down and have kids as God intended"
https://redd.it/1u3wjxm
@asexualityonreddit | 24 |
| 19 | 9 years of asexual bliss!
My wife and I are celebrating 9 years of asexuality today! It's improved our communication and the lack of sexual tension is a huge relief for us both!
https://redd.it/1u3usvb
@asexualityonreddit | 26 |
| 20 |  First pride craft!!
https://redd.it/1u3r2cv
@asexualityonreddit | 27 |
