Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit

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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism. Run by @reddit2telegram. @r_channels

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频道帖子

Why was I asexual my whole life but now I’m not? I have identified as asexual my whole life but now I’m having sex. I found my forever partner and I’m madly in love with them and know that I’ll be with them forever. I am now sexually attracted to them and we are having sex. I don’t know the shift and why it happened? I wish I did. Was I not asexual and more demisexual? https://redd.it/1u5but7 @asexualityonreddit

2	i don’t want to have sex i know this is kind of like. not a huge deal but i have a partner and we’ve agreed its ok if i don’t wanna do that. but both of our parents have been talking about protection around sex and i understand why but it makes me feel so yukcy and uncomfortable. it makes me feel like i’ll have to do that stuff and i dont wanna and i just feel so gross and bad :( https://redd.it/1u5357c @asexualityonreddit	3
3	[Content warning- Fetish] Read for question /r/asexuality/comments/1u593uc/content_warning_fetish_read_for_question/ https://redd.it/1u5950g @asexualityonreddit	5
4	I haven't been this upset since I tried to get insurance as a friend with benefits https://redd.it/1u58nt1 @asexualityonreddit	6
5	Pride Week: Representation and Understanding My Place On the Spectrum https://youtu.be/fTBdWiPnq6M?is=WRbzpzYw9N1JSe3U https://redd.it/1u4xuvx @asexualityonreddit	12
6	Paralives, a life sim game that came out in May, has the funniest description for the asexual flag https://redd.it/1u51gmd @asexualityonreddit	17
7	Which characters do you think are asexual according to your headcanon? https://redd.it/1u4xlwx @asexualityonreddit	15
8	little joke coming out of my first pride event be me after i find out im ace: i mean the ace flag is nice and all me 6.78591527 seconds after touching my first ace flag: PURPLEEEE oh also white gray and black i guess visual representation ↓ 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🤍🩶🖤 https://redd.it/1u4ri3x @asexualityonreddit	25
9	Nepal:** > "We can't just order it and we don't find it here in shops. We spend time and energy finding the cloth... We have to make do with other cloths, the windcheater material... and most of the time we don't even get it in the colors... of course it's going to take emotional and labor to go search for it, the measurements, the description to the people who stitch it." > On the social reality of switching flags: > "Asexual flag has finally started to be seen... changing the ace flag right now is something that is impossible for us to do... there will not be stability and there will just be more confusion within the Nepali queer community." > On why the word "Ally" is sacred to their survival: > "The word ally has been one of the most helpful words for many, many, many of us... because we are not individualistic people, we are very, very rooted in community... having that one word and the safety to be an ally and to enter a queer space is something that has helped us and propelled us to find where we stand." > "When we remove the 'ally' word from the flag, we strip it of the meaning and the importance of that here, which will take ace-aro activism decades behind in the place where we live." > On human complexity over internet theories: > "This debate and discourse has brought into light how human we all are, how much of a utopia the ace-aro community wish—I wish—was... we are as much part of the community, we're not the alien, we're not the robot, we're not the plants that exist outside of human civilization." > The final plea to the global community: > "Nothing for us without us. If it is to represent asexuals globally and be included, then I hope our small, tiny country is not made to feel small and tiny... and that our things that stop us from changing the flag right now do not make us feel like we are racist or we are out of the loop." I would appreciate user and mods' help in spreading and sharing this post on other subreddits, as I believe it is vitally important to consider the resilient Aspec community in Nepal. https://redd.it/1u4q9i4 @asexualityonreddit	20
10	Message to global Ace community from Nepali Aspecs regarding Ace Flag 2026 ### Videos [Part 1](https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZfa7KXTXIr/) · [Part 2](https://www.instagram.com/reels/DZfclh0Bfyj/) ### Comprehensive Summary of Dr. Manita's Message In her speech, Dr. Manita Newa Khadgi offers a reality check from the ground in Nepal. She explains that while Western internet spaces can easily switch digital graphics and order new flags, the physical, social, and cultural reality of organizing an asexual/aromantic (aspec) community in Nepal makes such a switch not only practically impossible but socially damaging. #### 1. The Extreme Isolation of Nepali Aspecs In Nepal, asexual (ayounik) and aromantic (ayopranayatmik) identities are virtually non-existent in public awareness. Dr. Manita emphasizes that 99.99% of people have never heard these terms, and those who do hear them for the first time cannot even begin to grasp what they mean. After six years of grueling, grassroots activism, the traditional 4-stripe flag has only just begun to gain a tiny shred of visibility in broader queer spaces. #### 2. The Physical and Resource Struggles of Pride in Nepal For the Nepali community, pride flags are not commodities that can be ordered online or bought at a store. Every single flag is a labor of love, pain, and scarce resources: * There is no specialized "flag fabric" available to them. * They must manually search for cheap, alternative materials, such as windcheater fabric (which is affordable, light, and waterproof). * They often cannot find the correct colors and must settle for regular clothing fabric. * They have to physically take these fabrics to local tailors, painstakingly explain the stripe measurements, and describe what they are making to people who have no concept of queer identities. * Because flags are so rare and expensive to produce, the community operates on a system of lending and borrowing; they do not have the privilege of simply throwing away old flags to buy new ones. #### 3. Why the "Ally" Concept is a Social Lifeline While Western discourses criticize the white stripe for representing "allies" rather than purely asexual experiences, Dr. Manita explains that the concept of the "ally" is a vital safety net in Nepal. Nepal is a collectivist society where individualistic identity is highly discouraged and community roots are deep. For many closeted or questioning individuals, entering a queer space under the safe label of an "ally" is the only way they can explore their identity without facing immediate social exile. Over time, this safe "ally" gateway allows them to slowly and safely find themselves on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. Stripping the flag of this "ally" connection actively harms their ability to bring questioning people into their community. #### 4. The Plea: "Nothing For Us Without Us" Dr. Manita expresses deep distress over the online pressure that implicitly labels those who do not adopt the 6-stripe flag as "racist" or "out of touch." She clarifies that the Nepali community deeply respects the creator of the new flag, but they simply do not possess the societal stability, resources, or safety to implement it. To switch flags now would destroy the fragile, hard-won visibility they have built over six years and alienate the local allies who keep their community alive. --- ### Highlighted Quotes > On public awareness in Nepal: > "Nepal is a place where the words asexual (ayounik) and aromantic (ayopranayatmik) is something that 99.99% people have never heard, and when they hear it the first time, even the inkling of what it means is something people will not understand." > On the pressure of online discourse: > "Subconsciously it feels like in the ace community that if we are not choosing the six-stripe flag, we are aligning with English-speaking and white people who believe they are superior... No one has told us to choose, but this pressure to prove that we are allies and that we are not racists..." > **On the painstaking reality of making flags in	11
11	I'm tired of the stigma of asexual people not being allowed to be attractive I'm a confident female with a sensual & elegant style of dressing and sometimes expressing or representing myself, since I do a lot of artistic displays and as an asexual that's even sex-repulsed, I do find respect, comfort and empowerment through sensuality and erotism by my own rules. I never play the teasing into people, I don't like to involve other people because I know that could be confusing, and because I actually like the intimacy of my identity being only myself that way. Unfortunately, it charms or attracts other people inevitably, and I always make it clear from the beginning that I'm not interested in sex and that I'm not pushing my boundaries, and that the way I display myself in my artistic disciplines does not mean I'm doing it for the sake of "that" or that it means an "open invitation" I was actually meeting a boy slowly into romantic terms, and he threw one of the most nerve-wracking comment/question I could ever receive. "But why don't you like sex, if the way you dress or act looks like you're calling for it?" "It's just strange for me that you reject something when you act like that". Even after explaining what it means to me and having to teach the differences with sexual orientation and own individual identity & style, he just left in a rush and never brought the topic again But now, I'm mad, because I opened my heart to someone who's having those judgemental comments about me and was probably just seeking me in first place because he thought I was "an easy catch, and attractive" I'm done of all the oppression the asexual community faces, everyone is supposedly encouraging open wide sexuality and everyone being comfortable with what they like, but when it comes to people actively being happy with not having sex at all when they're attractive, suddenly it's "weird" and "a waste". Not having sex means the same freedom as having it with whoever you want and like. We're also valid https://redd.it/1u4kvon @asexualityonreddit	13
12	Can we claim Tintin as an unofficial ace representation? https://redd.it/1u4mjcp @asexualityonreddit	13
13	Got bored so I made myself pride bracelets https://redd.it/1u4ke5l @asexualityonreddit	16
14	Did my nails up for Pride https://redd.it/1u4ih4z @asexualityonreddit	18
15	+1 没有文字...	20
16	Finally found the Ace ring I wanted! https://redd.it/1u4iy6j @asexualityonreddit	20
17	Before you started to identify as asexual, did any of you believe that wasn’t possible? I can’t be asexual. I’m [BLANK\]! I knew of asexuality before I knew what it actually was. I think that because I didn’t really understand it, I believed that I couldn’t be that. I might have believed that being asexual meant that you felt “nothing” down there. Like it as dead as a doorknob. You felt basically had no sexuality at all. You never watched porn, you didn’t experience arousal, didn’t have fantasies, and never masturbated. Just a totally sexless person. Obviously, my point of view expanded beyond that. Now I see activists like Yasmin Benoit and know that being asexual doesn’t mean you’re a prude or your life is totally unrelated to sex. But it’s fine if it is too! Ace is a spectrum, and I think that if I knew that I would have understood myself much better much sooner. Anyway, if you have any, what were your reasons why you “couldn’t be asexual”? https://redd.it/1u4drck @asexualityonreddit	25
18	Jasper says happy pride month! https://redd.it/1u45mhe @asexualityonreddit	31
19	This Pride Month, LGBTQIA+ Refugees in South Sudan’s Gorom Camp Need More Than Visibility. We Need to Survive please don’t forget us. https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1u42y9y https://redd.it/1u46pcg @asexualityonreddit	29
20	😂😂😂😐 https://redd.it/1u3i6ed @asexualityonreddit	23

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