Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Посты канала
Hypersexuality is exhausting when you're ace
I'm Asexual, I've felt pretty confident about that label since I was 12 (I'm 23 now), but since the start of this year I've developed hypersexuality. >!Literally was masturbating up to like 10 times a day. Now It's more like 1-3 times a day.!< It's so tiring, and makes me feel so bad about myself.
>!I know asexuals masturbate, in fact I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be our wheelhouse in this area lol but I personally feel like it's a waste of my time. It's also a hassle because of the laundry needing to be done, and I always feel guilty and gross because I watch porn with it.!<
It makes me question who I am, if I'm really ace, etc. Even though the word 'sexy' to describe someone has never been in my vocabulary, and I've never met a single person who made me think 'I'd like to have sex with you'.
I feel like it's draining on me emotionally. The libido is too high to ignore, but I don't WANT to be doing things. Does anyone else struggle with this???
I want to be very clear that I know some Asexuals have sex, plenty of them masturbate, etc, etc. This isn't meant to be a hate post or say that Asexuals can't be sexually active. This is just my personal experience with it.
https://redd.it/1utvicc
@asexualityonreddit
| 2 | Question for Aceflux people
/r/asexuality/comments/1utunt7/question_for_aceflux_people/
https://redd.it/1utuuqc
@asexualityonreddit | 5 |
| 3 | I can't make sexual jokes as an asexual person.
This is just a quick thought, but I wanted to share this feeling with you. When I make a sexual joke, I feel like people relate to it (and that I relate to it too), but actually, that’s not the case at all. I just know the terminology—I live in the same world as everyone else—and I find it funny... but the feeling still makes me uncomfortable.
https://redd.it/1utpa45
@asexualityonreddit | 9 |
| 4 | I got a question
(Im new to reddit this is my first post so I may be doing this wrong) ok so I got a question i think I'm ace but can you be down bay for a person/character if your ace?
https://redd.it/1utfr55
@asexualityonreddit | 14 |
| 5 | Believe that autistic people are more likely to be asexual than the general population
Is this true or a lie? Most autistic people I've meet online are often hypersexual and consume porn and most are not aromantic, most both real life and the Internet I've meet are very romantic. I don't think this is common.
https://redd.it/1utl0bd
@asexualityonreddit | 16 |
| 6 | feeling grossed out in every fandom i join
I'm not really sure if this has anything to do with my asexuality but every time i get interested in anything and try to be the part of the fandom i just feel really grossed out by the amount of sexualization of characters and nsfw drawings they share
oh i like this anime/manga? i should join the subreddit related to it and....wow it's just filled with fanarts with exaggerated proportions
started playing hero shooter and gacha games recently and same thing there too
even my bestie is not any different, we both r into resident evil series but all she yapp about is how leon is so hot and what kinda things she wanna do to him :l sis there's no need for me to know that information please
and it's just idk I feel left out,i wanna discuss abt the lore, abt the meta characters,abt story arc etc stuff but no "oh i want her to choke me" "i wish that were me" "smash"
https://redd.it/1utm7vp
@asexualityonreddit | 17 |
| 7 |  Me
https://redd.it/1utg7uv
@asexualityonreddit | 15 |
| 8 |  Getting unsolicited "advice" from a 17-year-old
https://redd.it/1utf91h
@asexualityonreddit | 18 |
| 9 | Getting unsolicited "advice" from a 17-year-old
https://redd.it/1utf9c5
@asexualityonreddit | 21 |
| 10 | Help me understand my possibly Asexual husband (links to original posts below)
So I (30F) caught my husband (32M) using an AI app for some sexual conversations and his response was that he was no longer physically attracted to me. Obviously this hurt and we've had some heart felt and healthy conversations since. From our initial conversation it sounded like he was not attracted to my stomach because of weight gain. Last night I asked him what he does find physically attractive in a person and he said he knows what is "nice" but he isn't sure if he is physically attracted to anyone (someone mentioned asexuality I think in my original post about this). I did ask him how this answered how he was physically attracted to me at the beginning of the relationship (which he said earlier in the conversation) and how this related to when he commented on boob pics on Facebook some years ago (I suspect this is the "nice" comment he was referring to earlier). One of our friends a few years ago was talking about her asexuality with us (at the time she was due to get married) and we had a shared conversation about low sex drive and low amounts of sex (we have sex once a month and have been that way for the best part of 10 years and been together 12). He has said from the initial conversation that he still loves me and the physical attraction does not take away from his love for me which I guess is where I understand the least because to me my physical attraction for my husband has only grown over the years with my love for him, like my emotional connection has made me find him sexier as time has progressed. I asked to try and help me understand what he finds physically attractive a celebrity he finds attractive which he also couldn't answer (when we first got together his response was Angelina Jolie from 10 years ago, so now 20+ years ago but he didn't even say her) so this highlights this further I think.
So my question is does this sound like asexuality? I understand it is a spectrum. But I do not know much further than this. I myself identify as bisexual however this is unimportant information other than I do understand realising/understanding yourself a bit deeper post marriage.
For anyone interested in my original post this link is my update which also contains the link to my first post on the matter https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/2a5AFbj2y2
https://redd.it/1utddc0
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 11 | Feeling "too complicated" to ever find a safe relationship as an Ace.
I have no one irl to open up to about this </3
Ever since i was around 12(?) I already knew I was ace, I saw the definition and said "Yep this is me.". Years later I still am Ace, the only label I've never changed or removed. So early on on every relationship/situationship/friendship, I'd tell people I'm asexual, though I used to make the most "unhinged"/horrendous sexual jokes according to some(yes I apologized) that doesn't make me any less ace though.
One thing I have set in stone is I DO NOT want to have sex, I may be a really touchy-clingy person(I always ask consent before being touchy) that doesn't mean i want to initiate anything intimate.
So whenever I approach someone who has romantic intentions towards me (I'm Quoiromantic+Demiromantic and a hopeless romantic) I tend to accept feelings no matter what my state of attraction is to them. BUT i make sure to explain that I am Asexual and Genderfluid, the definitions, what they mean to me. So I'm pretty sure I've done my part in being clear.
But each time they seem to ignore my asexuality and my boundaries regarding wanting no sexual acts, due to my humor and my touchyness(?). In their defense though, I don't immediately tell them off, I'm a bit too much of a people pleaser to do so.
I've gotten into a couple of SA(?) situations despite the perpetrator knowing well of my boundaries, and I freeze up instead of telling them anything. And after that I go in a horrible mental state and develop trust issues but I never cut them off myself certain situations just happen to happen and they fade away.
I realized, people tend to not respect my asexuality, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. Should I just stop being loud about my queer identity? Should I just "act normal"? I half really want a relationship, half want to go back to an era where i gaslit myself I was solid AroAce.
I've realized if I ever want to be in a relationship there would be wayyy too many standards like- My future partner has got to be somewhat queer cause I have a complicated situation with my gender identity. And as much as I love women(possibly more than men) I gotta choose a man because my family would never accept it. I can't possibly tolerate a misogynist that much. Which sums up to? No men in my area/environment! And I have trust issues with online dating apps and have horrible social skills to go out and explore, I'm soo cooked. I'm not even all that a package deal. Should I just accept my fate or fit in to the normal?
https://redd.it/1utb2g5
@asexualityonreddit | 21 |
| 12 | Feeling uncomfortable with your parents viewing you naked or you viewing them naked
Is this common thing among asexuals to feel uncomfortable viewing your parents naked or yourself naked and close the windows and the door for them to don't see it?
https://redd.it/1usqyu3
@asexualityonreddit | 20 |
| 13 | Why it sucks to be asexual, but still alloromantic.
I may not experience this strong sexual attraction, but I still have the need for emotional intimacy. It's such a dilemma.
I have a decent libido and can deal with that through masturbation. But what am I supposed to do with the romantic feelings?
Looking back, I think this ruined a lot of my dates. I always wanted to build an emotional connection first, hoping that sexual attraction would eventually develop. But in the end, it's apparently not normal to go on four or five dates without even kissing.
As a man, you're usually expected to make the first move, but for me it never felt like the right moment.
Sometimes I feel so out of place when I look at how naturally sex seems to be such a central part of dating and relationships.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.
https://redd.it/1ut3pym
@asexualityonreddit | 18 |
| 14 | Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when people use ace and aro interchangeably
like idk if this is irrational but I get really annoyed when I hear people say some one is ace when they mean aro/ace. I don’t know why but it just gets under my skin like I’m supposed to know when someone is useing ase as aro/ace or when it’s just ace.
https://redd.it/1ut3o61
@asexualityonreddit | 15 |
| 15 |  Me
https://redd.it/1ut35at
@asexualityonreddit | 15 |
| 16 |  Just tell the damn truth before dating further
https://redd.it/1ut0fre
@asexualityonreddit | 17 |
| 17 |  That woman is disgusting.
https://redd.it/1usyiyj
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 18 | How do asexual people view sex and relationships?
The definition only says a lack of interest so does that mean you guys just see it as normal activity you wouldn’t go out of your way to participate in? If that’s the case then are you guys ok with engaging in sexual acts with non asexual partners since they might enjoy it while you just see it as a boring activity so it’s not a big deal? Or is sex something some of you guys find repulsive? Do you guys find importance in strictly dating asexual people or does it not matter? Ik opinions might very but I’m curious about the individual opinions of you guys
https://redd.it/1usspsy
@asexualityonreddit | 22 |
| 19 |  My game with an asexual protagonist is out now!!
https://redd.it/1usv7ue
@asexualityonreddit | 25 |
| 20 | I think I've been misunderstanding what asexuality means
Ok so I've been claiming to a few people that I am asexual or well that I think I am
From my understanding now, it's a lack of sexual attraction so lack of crushes? Well if that's the case then yes I def am lol coz I'm literally 20 and can't remember having a single crush my entire teen life or even now
I mean I'm not exactly social but even in high-school I never did
Now what I've been misinterpreting is the fact that I've told a few people that I think I'm ace bc I never get horny, never 'goon' (I've tried, kinda but just never felt much).
But from reading a post from here, asexuality is a lack of crush NOT whether u crave sex?
I don't mind watching TV shows with sex scenes or listening to songs ab it but it never does much for me, interestingly enough tho, I remember being fascinated with kissing when I was younger (maybe not so much now, idk)
Anyway sooooo what am I? Lol, ik I don't owe anyone an explanation but even to myself? Like i don't exactly know how to explain all this
Recently I got into an argument and couldn't formulate how I'm feeling and so let it go and it would be nice to try and figure myself out 😭😭 any ideas?
Also another thing that's bothering me ab 'crushes' is the fact that I feel like people have different definitions of what crushes are??.
Like for me a crush is someome that goes beyond physical attraction. Whenever I've told people that I might be ace, they always think that I never find anyone attractive. But from my understanding, a crush is someone that goes beyond physical attraction, Like I want to be with you and possibly feel sexually attracted, whatever that means which I don't think I ever have?
But I don't think I'm aromantic either since I do fantasies about being with somoene and waking up with them and being all cutesy lol, like popcorn kisses and cuddles, hickeys lmao and possibly further but I don't ever get horny so like idk anymore
https://redd.it/1ustrlq
@asexualityonreddit | 26 |
