Mums Unstuck
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Intentional Parenting for proactive Muslim mumas seeking positive lasting change instead of quick fixes that don't stickâŠ.starting with YOU Parenting & motherhood growth
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| Date | Subscriber Growth | Mentions | Channels | |
| 01 August | +1 |
Channel Posts
We all make sure our girls know how to prepare for examsâŠ
We make sure they know their maths and English and scienceâŠ
We make sure they have good mannersâŠ.
But what about making sure they know how to respond to their BIG feelings?
Or what about the dark thoughts that make them believe theyâre stupid, or not good enough?
Or what about being able to communicate with you what she IS feeling and what support she needs without exploding or shutting down?
What do we do to make sure they know how to avoid getting swept away by the emotional hijackingâs when BIG feelings hit?
We donât tend to teach our children these essential life skills and they ARE essential life skills!
Thatâs exactly what teens joining Emotions, Thoughts & Me will learn over 4 weeks with me across August, starting next Sunday inshaâAllah.
Over 4 weeks sheâll learn crucial skills rooted in CBT to:
âšunderstand her BIG feelings (because she canât manage what she doesnât understand)
âšunderstand negative thoughts (because she canât control what she doesnât recognise)
âšunderstand what she can do to help herself (because she canât positively help herself when she doesnât know what she can do)
âšunderstand how to communicate whatâs going on for her (because she canât avoid creating conflict if she doesnât know how to be heard )
đANDâŠ.. because I know sheâll benefit so much more if YOU (mum) also understand the tools and implement them with her, youâre also invited to silently view the training behind the scenes, so you can support her long-term implementation inshaâAllah.
Registration closes soon
(Ps. Just to be clear - this is a teen program and teens will be supported through the program and ask questionsâŠand while mums are encouraged to view the material silently, support isnât extended to you)
| 2 |  If you already enrolled your daughter(s) and donât see her name please check your emails and reply to the email asking for her details so she can loginâŠ..
If you havenât enrolled your daughter(s) yet - thereâs still time!
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 1 |
| 3 | I think we can all agree how ridiculous it would be to expect children to do complex maths problems without ever teaching them the basics, and how even more ridiculous it would be to shame them or belittle them or get angry with them when they can't.
We teach our children maths, english, science and history. We teach all these things because we know they are important to allow our children to grow up and be able to function in this world.
YET, what we don't think about teaching, are the skills to manage BIG feelings BUT we expect kids to be able to.
We expect children to manage anger or frustration or disappointment WITHOUT showing them HOW TO or at the very least, helping them understand what all these feelings are.
We expect children to just "believe you can do it" without unpacking the story in their head telling them that they can't.
We enrol our kids into summer school and extra tuition classes because naturally, we want to make sure they have everything they need to keep up with their academics and not get left behind.
But, what about teaching the skills to help them stop believing they can't learn? The skills manage feeling rejected or stupid? What about teaching the skills to stop comparing themselves to others and shrinking themselves because they feel insignificant? What about teaching the skills to help them recognise what's happening in their body when anger or guilt hits?
These are all things that are to be taught. Yet we expect our children to somehow know how to manage feelings and thoughts they've never experienced before.
Emotions, Thoughts & Me is a 4-week LIVE online program for teen girls to learn these skills insha'Allah covering 4 key areas so she can:
đ Recognise the emotional hijacking when BIG feelings hit
đ Recognise the common unhelpful stories that present themselves as automatic negative thoughts and challenge them
đ See what she CAN do to help herself
đ Communicate what she wants or needs without exploding or shutting down
The goal isn't to eliminate difficult feelings or avoid challenging situations (because that's impossible!). The goal is to have the tools to be able to handle it well, insha'Allah.
Registration closes 7th August
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 251 |
| 4 |  No text... | 210 |
| 5 | If there is only one key lesson I could give you maybe itâs thisâŠ
When you SCARE your children into submission, you might see it as a momentary short-term âwinâ.
BUTâŠ
Your children are not learning anything other than walk on eggshells around mum, and make sure she never finds out!
Iâm pretty sure that isnât the kind of dynamic you want in your home.
Kids are going to do CRAZY things sometimes. Believe me Iâve been there!
You look at them sometimes and inside your head youâre screaming âWHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!!!â
Kids are going to mess up and do the wrong thing even if they do know betterâŠI mean, letâs be honest here, do WE even always do what we know? If youâre honest with yourself, no. We donât always do what we know. We mess up. Kids mess up too.
They are in a heavy period of training right now, and you my dear sister are their lead trainer (smiles) đ€
Iâm not saying itâs easy, it isnât! Thereâs a lot into contend with on top of managing your own stresses outside of parenthood. But, itâs not all dark clouds and grey skies either. There is so much beauty and blessings in raising your children. But you have to start paying attention to it. And stop letting the outside noise in. | 262 |
| 6 |  Our Mums Unstuck membership community is a melting pot of different families. Families who school. Families who homeschool. And families who online school.
So when I sat down to think about a âBack To Schoolâ training to explore together in August, I had to ask myself how I could bring everyone together when everyoneâs educational needs are somewhat different?
What I came to is every Muslim mother, regardless of education choices, are asking the same thing....how can we stay consistent and reach everyoneâs best potential WITHOUT destroying ourselves in the process!?
And so, as we approach the start of the brand new "school" year, whether you're schooling or home educating, in August we'll look at how to prepare your family for your best academic year yet, insha'Allah!
âïžBecome a member to attend the Back-to-School Growth Call training LIVE, along with our replay library sharing 60+ training calls from the last 5 years!
https://mumsunstuck.com | 238 |
| 7 | I was listening into a training call inside a health program Iâm in, and the host said âwhenever someone wants to control someone else, they use fear to scare the đ© out of themâ
I know this already because I talk a lot about parenting from love and parenting from fear as being two very different things, but this program isnât anything to do with parenting, and so Iâm listening to her talk about this from a different perspective in how fear shows up in my own life, and it got me thinking
Fear really is a manipulative tactic thatâs used to coercively control another humanâŠ. Whetehr that human is a child or another adult.
You see it in abusive marriages. You see it with toxic in-laws. You see it with toxic teachers. You see it with toxic parents. Fear is used to coercively control someone else for your own gain.
Iâm NOT a student of knowlege, Iâm sharing this as my own layman reflections, but this is a tactic the Shaytaan uses against our own selves. Using fear to scare us into actions and behaviours that harden our hearts and push our children away, instead of melting them and bring us closer.
When you find your child not meeting your expectations, and that little intrusive voice starts getting louder inside your head, filling it with assumptions and catastrophic consequences, you panic. And that panic rooted in fear, gets projected.
That projection makes you act like a crazy person, because instead of seeing what is rational and what your child needs from you, you act from an emotional hijacking that prevents you from accessing rational wisdom. And that emotional hijacking keeps you stuck inside the problem unable to see the way out of it
Fear and shame donât help anyone to do better
If youâre using fear to control your children, youâll constantly be angry and stressed. Because you canât control the kids. You canât control any one else other than yourself. The more you use fear, the more your children learn to hide things from you, and as they get older they get much better at not getting caught
You want your children to come to you when they are in trouble, so you can nurture and guide! But they wonât do that if they are afraid of you and your reaction. And if they do that, then you canât help.
Ps. Membership doors open
www.mumsunstuck.com | 237 |
| 8 | I was speaking to a mum who wanted to know how to deal with the constant fighting between her children and sassy attitudes...
As we talked, I told her forget about the kids behaviour, because that wasnât the real issue.
She was going through an incredibly stressful experience behind the scenes and although what she wanted was the âfixâ to get the kidsâ behaviour to change, I knew that isnât what she needed.
The kids behaviour was not the real problem here.
What most mumas don't pay enough attention to is how when youâre in a good emotional state, you can handle whatever antics the kids get up to without fuss...
BUT, when youâre incredibly stressed out with what you have going on in your life that has NOTHING to do with the kids, no parenting tool will work
Because it isnât the tools that make the kids comply, itâs is how YOU use them that does.
And how you use them, is MASSIVELY influenced by how you FEEL
You think you need to stop the fighting or the sass.
But sometimes, what needs your attention isnât your children
IT'S YOU!
Itâs making sure YOUâRE okay.
Think about when youâre in a pretty good mood, and the kids are doing their thing. You can probably go sort out whatever the issue is without any fuss and without a tool telling you what to do!
BUT....
Think about when youâre not in a good emotional place and the kids are doing their thing. You probably add more fuel to the fire and everything ends up a hot mess!
The problem may not be that you donât know how to handle the children when theyâre knee-deep in sibling war-fare or throwing themselves on the floor because you gave them the blue cup!
You may simply be trying to handle them while you are not okay.
Your childrenâs behaviour absolutely matters. Boundaries absolutely matter. Teaching them what is right absolutely matters.
But sometimes, asking, âHow do I stop the children fighting?â is not the right place to beginâŠ.
The better place to start may be:
âWhat do I need so that I can handle all this without falling apart too?â
Two questions my ladies are told to ask themselves every single day AND ESPECIALLY when they notice a mood shift....
1) What am I feeling?
(because you canât change what you donât acknowledge)
2) What do I need?
(because to treat the emotion, you need something)
If you want the tools to handle the kids crazy behaviours
AND
The deep work to unpack why someone asking for a snack feels like a personal attack and be able to stop counting down to bedtime when itâs barely 8am!
THEN...
Come and join us inside Mums Unstuck membership community where we bring together parenting, therapy and coaching to do the deep work, because parenting well is nothing to do with how the kids behave, and everything to do with you!
www.mumsunstuck.com | 297 |
| 9 | I was speaking to a sister who wanted to know how to deal with the constant fighting between her children and sassy attitudes...
As we talked, I told her forget about the kids behaviour, because that wasnât the real issue.
She was going through an incredibly stressful experience behind the scenes and although what she wanted was the âfixâ to get the kidsâ behaviour to change, I knew that isnât what she needed.
The kids behaviour was not the real problem here.
What most mumas don't pay enough attention to is how when youâre in a good emotional state, you can handle whatever antics the kids get up to without fuss...
BUT, when youâre incredibly stressed out with what you have going on in your life that has NOTHING to do with the kids, no parenting tool will work
Because it isnât the tools that make the kids comply, itâs is how YOU use them that does.
And how you use them, is MASSIVELY influenced by how you FEEL
You think you need to stop the fighting or the sass.
But sometimes, what needs your attention isnât your children
IT'S YOU!
Itâs making sure YOUâRE okay.
Think about when youâre in a pretty good mood, and the kids are doing their thing. You can probably go sort out whatever the issue is without any fuss and without a tool telling you what to do!
BUT....
Think about when youâre not in a good emotional place and the kids are doing their thing. You probably add more fuel to the fire and everything ends up a hot mess!
The problem may not be that you donât know how to handle the children when theyâre knee-deep in sibling war-fare or throwing themselves on the floor because you gave them the blue cup!
You may simply be trying to handle them while you are not okay.
Your childrenâs behaviour absolutely matters. Boundaries absolutely matter. Teaching them what is right absolutely matters.
But sometimes, asking, âHow do I stop the children fighting?â is not the right place to beginâŠ.
The better place to start may be:
âWhat do I need so that I can handle all this without falling apart too?â
Two questions my ladies are told to ask themselves every single day AND ESPECIALLY when they notice a mood shift....
1) What am I feeling?
(because you canât change what you donât acknowledge)
2) What do I need?
(because to treat the emotion, you need something)
If you want the tools to handle the kids crazy behaviours
AND
The deep work to unpack why someone asking for a snack feels like a personal attack and be able to stop counting down to bedtime when itâs barely 8am!
THEN...
Come and join us inside Mums Unstuck membership community where we bring together parenting, therapy and coaching to do the deep work, because parenting well is nothing to do with how the kids behave, and everything to do with you!
www.mumsunstuck.com | 7 |
| 10 | Children donât become what weâre telling them, they become what we are. | 317 |
| 11 |  I reckon if I ran a poll asking you to choose just one thing you could make sure your girls have (after Islam) between:
A) Abundent wealth
B) Positive self esteem
Iâm pretty sure youâd all pick B!
What most people do however is try to cultivate B by simply telling their daughters they ARE good enough without understanding that words alone canât always shut down the voice inside telling them they arenât
Ask most teenagers what they think about themselves, and youâll hear what sounds like a horror story of self-inflicted emotional abuse!!!
âIâm uglyâ
âIâm so stupidâ
âI canât do anything rightâ
âNo one really likes meâ
While you can tell her those things arenât true (and you absolutely should!) and you can reassure her again and again, one crucial part missing is giving her the tools to question those thoughts when youâre not there to do it for her!
Many of the beliefs we struggle to undo as adults didnât sudentky appear in adulthood. They began as small thoughts about ourselves during the years we were still discovering who we are
And because nobody taught us that thoughts are NOT automatically facts, they start shaping what we believed we could do, what we felt we deserved and how much of ourselves we allowed the world to see
Thatâs why Iâm telling you, telling you your daughters ARE good enough is only part of this work. An important part 100%. But just a part.
We also must teach them how to recognise these thoughts so they can ask for themselves:
Is this completely true?
What says itâs true?
Could there be another way of seeing this?
Your daughter wonât always have you besides her when those voices appear, but you can make sure she has the skills and tools to answer them
If you know how important these skills are and want to equip your teen daughter with the tools to understand what sheâs feeling, notice the negative thoughts before they take over and communicate whatâs going on for her without shutting down OR creating conflict, let her come join Emotions, Thoughts & Me - a 4 week live programme running next month
5 spaces left | 438 |
| 12 |  Before you form an opinion, you need to know something....
Mums Unstuck ISNâT for everyone.Itâs not supposed to be.
First of all, Mums Unstuck isnât a dawah organisation.
(that doesnât mean Islam isnât at the root)
It isnât an influencer page.
(Iâm not showing you a day in my life)
It is a business that brings together parenting, CBT, nervous system workand coaching to help Muslim women support themselves and their families.
If you're already thriving and have support around you...
And if motherhood feels manageable, you're rarely triggered, you feel content,
you're deeply connected to yourself and your childrenâŠ.
Alhamdulillah.
Genuinely.
I pray Allah increases you in khayr
But Mums Unstuck wasn't built for women who don't need support.
BECAUSE...... there ARE other practising sisters who donât have that.
Those women are looking for help managing the everyday choas of raising children AND want the invitation to do the deeper inner work to so they can.
Muslim women who know they donât know everything and arenât afraid to find out so they can be, do and have a life they and their children will THRIVE in, inshaâAllah.
Those are the women Mums Unstuck brings together to combine everyday parenting strategy with the deep workthat allows you to actually implement it!
My mission here asks:
Will the mother who is lying awaketonight finally feel understood and get access to tools that allow her to help herself because I had the courage to address the problems everyone else wants to pretend donât exist?
Just because some people donât need or want practical everyday support as they learn new skills to make their mumahood adventure easier, happier and less stressful, it doesnât mean no one does.
Mums Unstuck began as a personal mission to help Muslim women absolutly dedicated to raising their children WITHOUT struggling to figure it all out alone.
Because 99% of parenting isnât about managing the kids; itâs about managing yourself.
If thatâs you, ahlen, you found your place.
For a long time Iâve been trying to create content that everyone would agree withâŠ
The problem with that is, the women who need Mums Unstuck the most, donât need content that everyone agrees with.
They need someone willing to show them they CAN help themselves addressing issues they are struggling with ANDâŠ.
The momentum of practical support inside a community that stops them from giving up!!
We all need a balance of the positive attitude that shows the beauty of raising children, together with the direction of a solution-focused approach for the days that arenât sunshine and rainbowsâŠ.because not everyday is.
My goal here is NOT about giving women another parenting tipâŠ. Because Iâm telling you those quick fix tips NEVER last
My goal here is supporting the Muslim woman, who recognises her biggest battle isnât actually with her childrenâŠ
Itâs with the internal stories she tells herself that are influenced by personal beliefs and past experiences that make it harder to find a way through
And when she changes first, everything around her starts to change tooâŠ.and thatâs when positive lasting impact starts to unfold
80% of the work we do here on this page and inside our community programs, is about YOU not your children.
Becauee parenting starts with you and when you feel okay on the inside, everything with the kids is okay too
If youâre ready to take the next step, join us inside the community
www.mumsunstuck.com | 444 |
| 13 |  You're a grown adult woman, and I want to ask you...
Do you love yourself?
Do you even like yourself?
Those are two pretty loaded questions, but two very important questions.
Some of you might be able to answer without a second thought, âyes!â Allahumma barik if that's you, then my next question is, did you have to work on that, or was it something you always had?
Because for many women, the painful reality to those questions is a no, and if they have reached a point they can answer yes, it's because they had to intentionally work on it.
A lot of our beliefs about who we are and what we believe we're capable of, begin in early childhood. We don't have the emotional maturity as children to understand that the way others treat us, or things going on around us, are not a reflection of us. And so we internalise everything to mean it's BECAUSE of me this is happening.
It's BECAUSE I'm unlikeable I'm picked last on the P.E team
It's BECAUSE I'm not pretty enough I have no friends
It's BECAUSE I'm bad that mum is always angry
It's BECAUSE I'm stupid I don't understand this
And what ends up happening, is those ideas become core beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and what we're capable of.
My belief, is that a lot of those thoughts are going to be influenced by the waswas of shaytaan. The challenge really is, being able to recognise that thought when it shows up.
And thats exactly what teens joining Emotions, Thoughts & Me next month are going to do better insha'Allah.
It's a 4 week LIVE program across 4 Sundays AND mentorship support inside a private online forum, to equip teenage girls with the skills and tools to recognise AND understand their BIG feelings, unhelpful thinking patterns and be able to communicate what support they need.
It's rooted in CBT and coaching because the goal is to move forward in a positive way insha'Allah.
Will it teach girls EVERYTHING they need to know? No, it's only 4 weeks. BUT it will give them essential key skills that most grown adults never learn so they can understand the emotional hijacking and get better at controlling it instead of it controlling them, insha'Allah!
Registration is open until spaces are filled
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 447 |
| 14 |  When I started home educating I was young(-ish) and like a lot of others around me, incredibly black and white.
We had made the choice to not send our children to school and anyone who did, was clearly doing a disservice to their family.
I look back at those early years now and consider them to be one of my biggest face-palm moments.
Alhamdulillah with age comes experience and wisdom. Something I have learned as I (hopefully) matured and understand life a little better is that you CAN be right, WITHOUT making everyone else wrong. And this is what I want you my dear sister, to understand too.
It is super easy to unwittingly JUDGE others who take a different path as making the wrong move because it is a way to ensure we VALIDATE our own decisions. We don't want to be wrong about the choices we have made for our children and so to CONVINCE ourselves we're doing the right thing, everyone else doing the opposite MUST be wrong.
What you have to recognise is that the choices you make for your familyâs education are right FOR YOU.
Your choice to home educate doesnât mean everyone else who goes to school is wrong.
And likewise, your choice to school, doesnât make everyone else who home educates wrong either.
What we need to realise is that we all must do what is best for us according to the circumstances we find ourselves in and the resources available to us.
Some have access to excellent schools while others donât.
Some can afford the fees of sound Islamic schools, when others cannot.
Some are married and have the support of a husband. Some donât.
Some are married and suffering daily abuse.
Some are battling chronic illnesses from terminal diseases to depression that paralyses while everyone else is healthy.
The schools available to some are terrible and will destroy any child who goes there. Others enable a child to thrive.
Some children have learning differences schools simply donât support. Others donât.
Or, some children have learning differences a parent just doesn't know how to manage.
The point is, none of us are the same. Your right choice doesnât negate someone elseâs. Nor someone elseâs yours.
At the end of the day, every parent is responsible for the education choices they make for their children. Whether a child is home educated or schooled, the responsibility lays with the parent.
Every parent must take that responsibility seriously. And that choice is not for anyone else to judge.
________
ps. Enrolment is still open for the Teens Unstuck Emotions, Thoughts & Me for girls aged 12-17 starting next month insha'Allah.... 9 places left | 496 |
| 15 |  I remember sitting in one of my daughterâs parentsâ evenings and her teacher saying to me, âShe just needs to have more confidence.â
It was something she told my daughter in front of me every year and I remember thinking, you really don't get it. That statement "just have more confidence" is a complete and total cop-out!
How does a teenage girl simply âhave more confidenceâ because you tell her to?
Itâs one of those statements Iâve come to really dislike and actually, really irks me because confidence isnât something we can tell a teenager to have and expect her to wake up the next morning suddenly feeling differently about herself. If only it were that simple!
When a teenage girl appears to lack confidence, we have to look beyond what we can see.
If you're seeing the girl who doesnât put her hand up in class, even when she knows the answer. Or the girl who has something to say but waits for someone else to speak first. Or the girl who constantly compares herself to her friends or picks herself apart whenever she looks in the mirror. You have to look deeper.
Because what you're not doing is looking at whatâs happening inside her and STOPPING confidence forming.
Confidence doesnât begin with telling her to just "be more confident" and âjust believe in yourselfâ
What does that even mean anyway????
I'll tell you where it begins, it begins with helping her understand what is going on inside her.
It begins with teaching her to notice the critical thoughts (AKA waswas) that's making her question her own worth and be able to positively challenge them
It begins with teaching her to notice her BIG feelings and crucially what to do with them
It begins with teaching her how she can find safety to communicate with someone she trusts what help and support she needs.
If you're a muma who can see the value in these skills and want to help equip your teenage daughter with them, enrolment is open on the summer program I'm running next month insha'Allah
The goal behind this LIVE group-supported program is NOT to show girls how to never feel stressed, worried, upset or overwhelmed about stuff happening...
That's impossible!
The goal is to show girls how to understand what is happening inside her from her thoughts to her feelings and have the tools to handle it well
If we want confident teenage girls, we canât simply keep telling them to be confident.
We have to actually give them the tools to build that confidence from the inside.
We have just 11 spaces left!
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 525 |
| 16 | âBadâ kids or something else?
YEARS ago, I shared something about keeping children away from badly behaved children so as not to negatively impact yours.....
Now Iâve got older (and hopefully wiser), I have a somewhat deeper perspective on this....
Itâs not so much about keeping your children away from âbadâ kids... rather, itâs more about keeping them away from children who are PARENTED badly....
Hear me out on what I mean by this.....
The issue isnât whether a child behaves inappropriatly or does something wildly âstupidâ....
Because children WILL mess up!
It doesn't matter how "good" a family you might be, children ARE all in a HEAVY period of training right now.
Kids doing the âwrongâ thing IS to be EXPECTED.....
They're still learning.
They're still developing.
Still figuring things out.
What we need to be looking at is NOT whether someone's child ever behaved badly...
The IMPORTANT question to ask is:
"What happens after they do?"
Iâll tell you why this is a super important distinction to make....
Some parents MINIMISE their childrenâs behaviour, claiming:
"My child would never do that!" and dismissing any suggestion their child may have acted poorly or making excuses for it.
When THAT happens, those children are not taught accountability, nor are they taught how to become better, so âbadâ behaviour doesnât change.
Other parents lean in.
They listen.
They investigate.
They look for the truth.
They hold their child accountable.
AND, crucially, they teach, they positively discipline and guide their children on how to repair mistakes and poor choices.
So yes, absolutely be wise about who your children spend time with.
Iâm NOT saying donât be!
BUT don't judge and write off a child simply because they made a poor choice once or twice.
ESPECIALLY if you havenât tried to help that child or talk to their parents either.
Look instead at whether that childâs parents are committed to helping that child grow or make excuses for them.
The belief that good parenting means raising a child who never misbehaves is WRONG.
It doesn't.
Good parenting is what happens AFTER the mistake.
It's sitting with the discomfort instead of becoming defensive.
It's being willing to hear something painful about your child without making it about your own ego.
It's having the courage to say:
"If this happened, then we have something to work on." and working on it together.
ps.
If you have a teen daughter you want to EQUIP with the skills to make better choices....
...It starts with giving her the tools to understand WHY she thinks and feels the way she does....
Because teens do better when they know how to feel better.
For information about the 4-week summer program teen girls are joining to help them do exactly that take a look here | 518 |
| 17 | đŁ *Calling all mumas of teenage daughters!*
đThe relationship you want to have with your daughter when she is grown is being built right now!
You donât need me to tell you the teenage years can test you in ways you never expected BUTâŠ. they can ALSO become the years that bring you closer than ever.
Your daughter is no longer a little girl, but she isnât yet the woman she is becoming either.
She is finding her âvoiceâ, figuring out ideas and navigating thoughts, feelings and pressures she may not always know how to explain.
Something important to pay attention to is that can love your daughter FIERCELY yet still unintentionally make it harder for her to come to you.
Sometimes your concern feels like criticism to her
Your guidance toward good feels like control
And your desperate attempts to get them talking make them want to share even less.
đWhether your relationship is already beautifully close or youâve noticed a little distance creeping in, this FREE live masterclass will help you understand the teenage years through your daughterâs eyes, so you CAN guide her without pushing her away and remain the muma she feels safe ALWAYS coming to, inshaâAllah
âCloseness with your teenage daughter isnât something you simply hope will survive these years.
â
Itâs something you intentionally cultivate and build through them.
đSave your Zoom seat and uncover what your teen daughter NEEDS you to know âŹïž
https://mumsunstuck.com/raisingteens
Ps. This is a brand new training never offered publicly before! đ€ | 480 |
| 18 |  No text... | 394 |
| 19 |  Thereâs a strange irony in how irritated we can become when our teenage daughter is irritated and believe me, Iâve done it too (face-palm)
Sheâs moody, so now weâre in a mood about her mood.
She snaps, so we snap back while telling her not to snap.
She's angry and so we try to show her how WRONG her anger is by out-angering hers with ours
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!
Before we know it, two irritated people are standing there expecting the other one to calm down first.
And while I'd LOVE to tell you that your teen will do that, she won't. Not if you can't do it first. AND more crucially, not if she does't yet KNOW HOW TO!!!
Because look, tell me I'm wrong here, you cannot correct, lecture or punish a girl into emotional maturity. That's not how it works.
The more you PUSH the more she pulls away
Yes, she needs boundaries. Yes, she needs to learn that feeling irritated doesnât give her permission to speak to people however she likes. BUT if all we ever do is correct what comes out of her, WITHOUT teaching her what to do with everything building up inside her, weâre expecting a skill we havenât equipped her with.....YET
Telling her to âCalm downâ isnât a tool.
If it was, we could tell ourselves that first, right!?
Our girls need to learn HOW to recognise what theyâre feeling and notice when itâs beginning to take over so they CAN positively address what it is she actually needs
Emotional regulation is an incredibly important skill-set (that if we're honest many grown adults don't even have Allahu musta'an) and like all skills, they simply need to be taught and practiced.
You know what it's like to bee a teenage girl BECAUSE you were one!
You know what it's like to have all these feelings inside and not know what to do with them other than suppress it and hold it all in, until it gets too much and eventually explodes OR completely shuts down.
That is exactly why the 2nd cohort of Emotions, Thoughts & Me is starting next month, insha'Allah
A four-week interactive programme helping girls aged 12â17 understand their emotions, recognise and challenge negative thoughts and communicate with greater confidence so they feel understood.
Your daughter doesnât need to be in crisis before these skills become valuable. In fact, Iâd much rather we gave our girls the tools BEFORE they desperately needed them.
Prevention really is better than cure. â€ïž
đ Enrolment is now open
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 530 |
| 20 |  I don't know about you, but I've certainly struggled as a teenager with the thoughts that told me Iâm stupid, not good enough, not liked and a whole lot worse.
Iâm not afraid to admit this because I know, everyone has some of these thoughts. They might not be exactly the same as mine. We all have our own version of them.
I struggled with these destructive thoughts as a teenager, and I struggled with them as an adult until my late thirties when I learned how to understand them and importantly, I learned how to better control them, instead of falling victim and allowing them to control me.
When you think back to yourself as a teenage girl, I'm sure you, like most of us, didnât grow up knowing how to understand why we struggled, why we were angry, why we were stressed or why we felt not good enough.
Most girls don't grow up knowing those words inside your head are not accurate reflections of reality, and we believed them....no matter how cruel they sounded.
Most girls don't grow up knowing how to communicate without fuelling conflict....instead are taught to stay quiet and suppress it all...until it all explodes!
A question I have for you to reflect onâŠ
What if you could give your teen daughters these tools so they donât have to struggle in the same way?
What if you could give your teen daughters the tools to...
..walk into school without spending the whole morning worrying about what everyone thinks of her.
...put her hand up in class because she believes her ideas matter instead of hiding waiting for permission to share
...look in the mirror without picking herself apart.
...bounce back after failing a test instead of deciding she's stupid.
...have disagreements without screaming, slamming doors or shutting everyone out.
...know how to calm herself when life feels overwhelming.
...make mistakes without believing she's a failure because of them
...leave home one day as a young woman who knows her worth, and isn't constantly seeking it from everyone else.
Iâm hosting the second cohort of Emotions, Thoughts & Me, as part of a new "Teens Unstuck" venture....
Over 4 weeks, I'm introducing teen girls to the tools and skills to:
â€ïžâđ©čUnderstand their BIG feelings & what they CAN positively do about them
â€ïžâđ©čRecognise automatic negative thoughts and what they CAN do to challenge them
â€ïžâđ©čCommunicate what's going on for her without inciting conflict and drama!
And, the good news is, because your daughter needs your support, you (muma) can (silently) access the training too so you learn together âš.....because I know she will benefit so much more if you're implementing the same skills too.
Find out more and register your teens' place here
https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page | 516 |
