Mums Unstuck

I reckon if I ran a poll asking you to choose just one thing you could make sure your girls have (after Islam) between: A) Abundent wealth B) Positive self esteem I’m pretty sure you’d all pick B! What most people do however is try to cultivate B by simply telling their daughters they ARE good enough without understanding that words alone can’t always shut down the voice inside telling them they aren’t Ask most teenagers what they think about themselves, and you’ll hear what sounds like a horror story of self-inflicted emotional abuse!!! “I’m ugly” “I’m so stupid” “I can’t do anything right” “No one really likes me” While you can tell her those things aren’t true (and you absolutely should!) and you can reassure her again and again, one crucial part missing is giving her the tools to question those thoughts when you’re not there to do it for her! Many of the beliefs we struggle to undo as adults didn’t sudentky appear in adulthood. They began as small thoughts about ourselves during the years we were still discovering who we are And because nobody taught us that thoughts are NOT automatically facts, they start shaping what we believed we could do, what we felt we deserved and how much of ourselves we allowed the world to see That’s why I’m telling you, telling you your daughters ARE good enough is only part of this work. An important part 100%. But just a part. We also must teach them how to recognise these thoughts so they can ask for themselves: Is this completely true? What says it’s true? Could there be another way of seeing this? Your daughter won’t always have you besides her when those voices appear, but you can make sure she has the skills and tools to answer them If you know how important these skills are and want to equip your teen daughter with the tools to understand what she’s feeling, notice the negative thoughts before they take over and communicate what’s going on for her without shutting down OR creating conflict, let her come join Emotions, Thoughts & Me - a 4 week live programme running next month 5 spaces left

Before you form an opinion, you need to know something.... Mums Unstuck ISN’T for everyone.It’s not supposed to be. First of all, Mums Unstuck isn’t a dawah organisation. (that doesn’t mean Islam isn’t at the root) It isn’t an influencer page. (I’m not showing you a day in my life) It is a business that brings together parenting, CBT, nervous system workand coaching to help Muslim women support themselves and their families. If you're already thriving and have support around you... And if motherhood feels manageable, you're rarely triggered, you feel content, you're deeply connected to yourself and your children…. Alhamdulillah. Genuinely. I pray Allah increases you in khayr But Mums Unstuck wasn't built for women who don't need support. BECAUSE...... there ARE other practising sisters who don’t have that. Those women are looking for help managing the everyday choas of raising children AND want the invitation to do the deeper inner work to so they can. Muslim women who know they don’t know everything and aren’t afraid to find out so they can be, do and have a life they and their children will THRIVE in, insha’Allah. Those are the women Mums Unstuck brings together to combine everyday parenting strategy with the deep workthat allows you to actually implement it! My mission here asks: Will the mother who is lying awaketonight finally feel understood and get access to tools that allow her to help herself because I had the courage to address the problems everyone else wants to pretend don’t exist? Just because some people don’t need or want practical everyday support as they learn new skills to make their mumahood adventure easier, happier and less stressful, it doesn’t mean no one does. Mums Unstuck began as a personal mission to help Muslim women absolutly dedicated to raising their children WITHOUT struggling to figure it all out alone. Because 99% of parenting isn’t about managing the kids; it’s about managing yourself. If that’s you, ahlen, you found your place. For a long time I’ve been trying to create content that everyone would agree with… The problem with that is, the women who need Mums Unstuck the most, don’t need content that everyone agrees with. They need someone willing to show them they CAN help themselves addressing issues they are struggling with AND…. The momentum of practical support inside a community that stops them from giving up!! We all need a balance of the positive attitude that shows the beauty of raising children, together with the direction of a solution-focused approach for the days that aren’t sunshine and rainbows….because not everyday is. My goal here is NOT about giving women another parenting tip…. Because I’m telling you those quick fix tips NEVER last My goal here is supporting the Muslim woman, who recognises her biggest battle isn’t actually with her children… It’s with the internal stories she tells herself that are influenced by personal beliefs and past experiences that make it harder to find a way through And when she changes first, everything around her starts to change too….and that’s when positive lasting impact starts to unfold 80% of the work we do here on this page and inside our community programs, is about YOU not your children. Becauee parenting starts with you and when you feel okay on the inside, everything with the kids is okay too If you’re ready to take the next step, join us inside the community www.mumsunstuck.com

You're a grown adult woman, and I want to ask you... Do you love yourself? Do you even like yourself? Those are two pretty loaded questions, but two very important questions. Some of you might be able to answer without a second thought, “yes!” Allahumma barik if that's you, then my next question is, did you have to work on that, or was it something you always had? Because for many women, the painful reality to those questions is a no, and if they have reached a point they can answer yes, it's because they had to intentionally work on it. A lot of our beliefs about who we are and what we believe we're capable of, begin in early childhood. We don't have the emotional maturity as children to understand that the way others treat us, or things going on around us, are not a reflection of us. And so we internalise everything to mean it's BECAUSE of me this is happening. It's BECAUSE I'm unlikeable I'm picked last on the P.E team It's BECAUSE I'm not pretty enough I have no friends It's BECAUSE I'm bad that mum is always angry It's BECAUSE I'm stupid I don't understand this And what ends up happening, is those ideas become core beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and what we're capable of. My belief, is that a lot of those thoughts are going to be influenced by the waswas of shaytaan. The challenge really is, being able to recognise that thought when it shows up. And thats exactly what teens joining Emotions, Thoughts & Me next month are going to do better insha'Allah. It's a 4 week LIVE program across 4 Sundays AND mentorship support inside a private online forum, to equip teenage girls with the skills and tools to recognise AND understand their BIG feelings, unhelpful thinking patterns and be able to communicate what support they need. It's rooted in CBT and coaching because the goal is to move forward in a positive way insha'Allah. Will it teach girls EVERYTHING they need to know? No, it's only 4 weeks. BUT it will give them essential key skills that most grown adults never learn so they can understand the emotional hijacking and get better at controlling it instead of it controlling them, insha'Allah! Registration is open until spaces are filled https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

When I started home educating I was young(-ish) and like a lot of others around me, incredibly black and white. We had made the choice to not send our children to school and anyone who did, was clearly doing a disservice to their family. I look back at those early years now and consider them to be one of my biggest face-palm moments. Alhamdulillah with age comes experience and wisdom. Something I have learned as I (hopefully) matured and understand life a little better is that you CAN be right, WITHOUT making everyone else wrong. And this is what I want you my dear sister, to understand too. It is super easy to unwittingly JUDGE others who take a different path as making the wrong move because it is a way to ensure we VALIDATE our own decisions. We don't want to be wrong about the choices we have made for our children and so to CONVINCE ourselves we're doing the right thing, everyone else doing the opposite MUST be wrong. What you have to recognise is that the choices you make for your family’s education are right FOR YOU. Your choice to home educate doesn’t mean everyone else who goes to school is wrong. And likewise, your choice to school, doesn’t make everyone else who home educates wrong either. What we need to realise is that we all must do what is best for us according to the circumstances we find ourselves in and the resources available to us. Some have access to excellent schools while others don’t. Some can afford the fees of sound Islamic schools, when others cannot. Some are married and have the support of a husband. Some don’t. Some are married and suffering daily abuse. Some are battling chronic illnesses from terminal diseases to depression that paralyses while everyone else is healthy. The schools available to some are terrible and will destroy any child who goes there. Others enable a child to thrive. Some children have learning differences schools simply don’t support. Others don’t. Or, some children have learning differences a parent just doesn't know how to manage. The point is, none of us are the same. Your right choice doesn’t negate someone else’s. Nor someone else’s yours. At the end of the day, every parent is responsible for the education choices they make for their children. Whether a child is home educated or schooled, the responsibility lays with the parent. Every parent must take that responsibility seriously. And that choice is not for anyone else to judge. ________ ps. Enrolment is still open for the Teens Unstuck Emotions, Thoughts & Me for girls aged 12-17 starting next month insha'Allah.... 9 places left

I remember sitting in one of my daughter’s parents’ evenings and her teacher saying to me, “She just needs to have more confidence.” It was something she told my daughter in front of me every year and I remember thinking, you really don't get it. That statement "just have more confidence" is a complete and total cop-out! How does a teenage girl simply “have more confidence” because you tell her to? It’s one of those statements I’ve come to really dislike and actually, really irks me because confidence isn’t something we can tell a teenager to have and expect her to wake up the next morning suddenly feeling differently about herself. If only it were that simple! When a teenage girl appears to lack confidence, we have to look beyond what we can see. If you're seeing the girl who doesn’t put her hand up in class, even when she knows the answer. Or the girl who has something to say but waits for someone else to speak first. Or the girl who constantly compares herself to her friends or picks herself apart whenever she looks in the mirror. You have to look deeper. Because what you're not doing is looking at what’s happening inside her and STOPPING confidence forming. Confidence doesn’t begin with telling her to just "be more confident" and “just believe in yourself” What does that even mean anyway???? I'll tell you where it begins, it begins with helping her understand what is going on inside her. It begins with teaching her to notice the critical thoughts (AKA waswas) that's making her question her own worth and be able to positively challenge them It begins with teaching her to notice her BIG feelings and crucially what to do with them It begins with teaching her how she can find safety to communicate with someone she trusts what help and support she needs. If you're a muma who can see the value in these skills and want to help equip your teenage daughter with them, enrolment is open on the summer program I'm running next month insha'Allah The goal behind this LIVE group-supported program is NOT to show girls how to never feel stressed, worried, upset or overwhelmed about stuff happening... That's impossible! The goal is to show girls how to understand what is happening inside her from her thoughts to her feelings and have the tools to handle it well If we want confident teenage girls, we can’t simply keep telling them to be confident. We have to actually give them the tools to build that confidence from the inside. We have just 11 spaces left! https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

“Bad” kids or something else? YEARS ago, I shared something about keeping children away from badly behaved children so as not to negatively impact yours..... Now I’ve got older (and hopefully wiser), I have a somewhat deeper perspective on this.... It’s not so much about keeping your children away from “bad” kids... rather, it’s more about keeping them away from children who are PARENTED badly.... Hear me out on what I mean by this..... The issue isn’t whether a child behaves inappropriatly or does something wildly “stupid”.... Because children WILL mess up! It doesn't matter how "good" a family you might be, children ARE all in a HEAVY period of training right now. Kids doing the “wrong” thing IS to be EXPECTED..... They're still learning. They're still developing. Still figuring things out. What we need to be looking at is NOT whether someone's child ever behaved badly... The IMPORTANT question to ask is: "What happens after they do?" I’ll tell you why this is a super important distinction to make.... Some parents MINIMISE their children’s behaviour, claiming: "My child would never do that!" and dismissing any suggestion their child may have acted poorly or making excuses for it. When THAT happens, those children are not taught accountability, nor are they taught how to become better, so “bad” behaviour doesn’t change. Other parents lean in. They listen. They investigate. They look for the truth. They hold their child accountable. AND, crucially, they teach, they positively discipline and guide their children on how to repair mistakes and poor choices. So yes, absolutely be wise about who your children spend time with. I’m NOT saying don’t be! BUT don't judge and write off a child simply because they made a poor choice once or twice. ESPECIALLY if you haven’t tried to help that child or talk to their parents either. Look instead at whether that child’s parents are committed to helping that child grow or make excuses for them. The belief that good parenting means raising a child who never misbehaves is WRONG. It doesn't. Good parenting is what happens AFTER the mistake. It's sitting with the discomfort instead of becoming defensive. It's being willing to hear something painful about your child without making it about your own ego. It's having the courage to say: "If this happened, then we have something to work on." and working on it together. ps. If you have a teen daughter you want to EQUIP with the skills to make better choices.... ...It starts with giving her the tools to understand WHY she thinks and feels the way she does.... Because teens do better when they know how to feel better. For information about the 4-week summer program teen girls are joining to help them do exactly that take a look here

📣 *Calling all mumas of teenage daughters!* 💕The relationship you want to have with your daughter when she is grown is being built right now! You don’t need me to tell you the teenage years can test you in ways you never expected BUT…. they can ALSO become the years that bring you closer than ever. Your daughter is no longer a little girl, but she isn’t yet the woman she is becoming either. She is finding her “voice”, figuring out ideas and navigating thoughts, feelings and pressures she may not always know how to explain. Something important to pay attention to is that can love your daughter FIERCELY yet still unintentionally make it harder for her to come to you. Sometimes your concern feels like criticism to her Your guidance toward good feels like control And your desperate attempts to get them talking make them want to share even less. 👉Whether your relationship is already beautifully close or you’ve noticed a little distance creeping in, this FREE live masterclass will help you understand the teenage years through your daughter’s eyes, so you CAN guide her without pushing her away and remain the muma she feels safe ALWAYS coming to, insha’Allah ❌Closeness with your teenage daughter isn’t something you simply hope will survive these years. ✅It’s something you intentionally cultivate and build through them. 👉Save your Zoom seat and uncover what your teen daughter NEEDS you to know ⬇️ https://mumsunstuck.com/raisingteens Ps. This is a brand new training never offered publicly before! 🖤

There’s a strange irony in how irritated we can become when our teenage daughter is irritated and believe me, I’ve done it too (face-palm) She’s moody, so now we’re in a mood about her mood. She snaps, so we snap back while telling her not to snap. She's angry and so we try to show her how WRONG her anger is by out-angering hers with ours MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!! Before we know it, two irritated people are standing there expecting the other one to calm down first. And while I'd LOVE to tell you that your teen will do that, she won't. Not if you can't do it first. AND more crucially, not if she does't yet KNOW HOW TO!!! Because look, tell me I'm wrong here, you cannot correct, lecture or punish a girl into emotional maturity. That's not how it works. The more you PUSH the more she pulls away Yes, she needs boundaries. Yes, she needs to learn that feeling irritated doesn’t give her permission to speak to people however she likes. BUT if all we ever do is correct what comes out of her, WITHOUT teaching her what to do with everything building up inside her, we’re expecting a skill we haven’t equipped her with.....YET Telling her to “Calm down” isn’t a tool. If it was, we could tell ourselves that first, right!? Our girls need to learn HOW to recognise what they’re feeling and notice when it’s beginning to take over so they CAN positively address what it is she actually needs Emotional regulation is an incredibly important skill-set (that if we're honest many grown adults don't even have Allahu musta'an) and like all skills, they simply need to be taught and practiced. You know what it's like to bee a teenage girl BECAUSE you were one! You know what it's like to have all these feelings inside and not know what to do with them other than suppress it and hold it all in, until it gets too much and eventually explodes OR completely shuts down. That is exactly why the 2nd cohort of Emotions, Thoughts & Me is starting next month, insha'Allah A four-week interactive programme helping girls aged 12–17 understand their emotions, recognise and challenge negative thoughts and communicate with greater confidence so they feel understood. Your daughter doesn’t need to be in crisis before these skills become valuable. In fact, I’d much rather we gave our girls the tools BEFORE they desperately needed them. Prevention really is better than cure. ❤️ 🔗 Enrolment is now open https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

I don't know about you, but I've certainly struggled as a teenager with the thoughts that told me I’m stupid, not good enough, not liked and a whole lot worse. I’m not afraid to admit this because I know, everyone has some of these thoughts. They might not be exactly the same as mine. We all have our own version of them. I struggled with these destructive thoughts as a teenager, and I struggled with them as an adult until my late thirties when I learned how to understand them and importantly, I learned how to better control them, instead of falling victim and allowing them to control me. When you think back to yourself as a teenage girl, I'm sure you, like most of us, didn’t grow up knowing how to understand why we struggled, why we were angry, why we were stressed or why we felt not good enough. Most girls don't grow up knowing those words inside your head are not accurate reflections of reality, and we believed them....no matter how cruel they sounded. Most girls don't grow up knowing how to communicate without fuelling conflict....instead are taught to stay quiet and suppress it all...until it all explodes! A question I have for you to reflect on… What if you could give your teen daughters these tools so they don’t have to struggle in the same way? What if you could give your teen daughters the tools to... ..walk into school without spending the whole morning worrying about what everyone thinks of her. ...put her hand up in class because she believes her ideas matter instead of hiding waiting for permission to share ...look in the mirror without picking herself apart. ...bounce back after failing a test instead of deciding she's stupid. ...have disagreements without screaming, slamming doors or shutting everyone out. ...know how to calm herself when life feels overwhelming. ...make mistakes without believing she's a failure because of them ...leave home one day as a young woman who knows her worth, and isn't constantly seeking it from everyone else. I’m hosting the second cohort of Emotions, Thoughts & Me, as part of a new "Teens Unstuck" venture.... Over 4 weeks, I'm introducing teen girls to the tools and skills to: ❤️‍🩹Understand their BIG feelings & what they CAN positively do about them ❤️‍🩹Recognise automatic negative thoughts and what they CAN do to challenge them ❤️‍🩹Communicate what's going on for her without inciting conflict and drama! And, the good news is, because your daughter needs your support, you (muma) can (silently) access the training too so you learn together ✨.....because I know she will benefit so much more if you're implementing the same skills too. Find out more and register your teens' place here https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

We teach our children to brush their teeth before they get cavities. We teach them to swim before they fall into deep water. We teach them road safety before they're standing in the middle of a busy road. ⁉️So why do we wait until our teenagers are overwhelmed, anxious or battling negative thoughts and somehow EXPECT them to handle BIG feelings appropriately, WITHOUT actually teaching them HOW??? One of the biggest regrets I hear from mumas I work with is: "I wish someone had taught me this when I was a teenager." Because many mumas grew up not knowing.... ❤️‍🩹How to stop believing every negative thought ❤️‍🩹How to manage BIG emotions. ❤️‍🩹How to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. ❤️‍🩹How to communicate without bottling everything up OR exploding. Instead, many of us spent YEARS thinking we were the problem. 💕Your daughter doesn't have to. Your teenager doesn't have wait until she's an adult to learn the skills many of us are only discovering in our 30s and 40s! Imagine if as a teenager she knows how to: ✔ Understand WHAT she is feeling and WHY she feels the way she does. ✔ Recognise and challenge negative thoughts before they convince her she isn't good enough or the world is against her ✔ Manage the emotional hijacking instead of being controlled by it ✔ Speak up confidently about what's going on for her, without anger, tears or shutting down. These are essential foundational life skills. And yet almost nobody teaches them. ❌You can’t protect her from every disappointment... ✔️But you CAN equip her with the skills to handle them. 🎓Emotions, Thoughts & Me is a live 4-week "Teens Unstuck" online and interactive workshop, equipping teen girls with practical tools to understand BIG emotions, negative thinking and build resilience that will serve them for years to come, insha'Allah ❌The goal is NOT teaching teens to never feel stressed, worried, upset or overwhelmed. That's impossible. ✔️The goal is to teach teenagers the skills that give them the capacity to HANDLE the stress, worries, sadness and overwhelm when it shows up....because it will! ✨ Recommended ages 12–17 📅 Starts 9th August insha'Allah 💗 Limited spaces available More details and enrol here https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

We teach our children to brush their teeth before they get cavities. We teach them to swim before they fall into deep water. We teach them road safety before they're standing in the middle of a busy road. ⁉️So why do we wait until our teenagers are overwhelmed, anxious or battling negative thoughts before we teach them how to manage their BIG feelings? One of the biggest regrets I hear from mumas I work with is: "I wish someone had taught me this when I was a teenager." Because many mumas grew up not knowing.... ❤️‍🩹How to stop believing every negative thought ❤️‍🩹How to manage BIG emotions. ❤️‍🩹How to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. ❤️‍🩹How to communicate without bottling everything up OR exploding. Instead, many of us spent YEARS thinking we were the problem. 💕Your daughter doesn't have to. Your teenager doesn't have wait until she's an adult to learn the skills many of us are only discovering in our 30s and 40s! Imagine if as a teenager she knows how to: ✔ Understand WHAT she is feeling and WHY she feels the way she does. ✔ Recognise and challenge negative thoughts before they convince her she isn't good enough or the world is against her ✔ Manage the emotional hijacking instead of being controlled by it ✔ Speak up confidently about what's going on for her, without anger, tears or shutting down. These are essential foundational life skills. And yet almost nobody teaches them. ❌You can’t protect her from every disappointment... ✔️But you CAN equip her with the skills to handle them. 🎓Emotions, Thoughts & Me is a live 4-week "Teens Unstuck" online and interactive workshop, equipping teen girls with practical tools to understand BIG emotions, negative thinking and build resilience that will serve them for years to come, insha'Allah ❌The goal is NOT teaching teens to never feel stressed, worried, upset or overwhelmed. That's impossible. ✔️The goal is to teach teenagers the skills that give them the capacity to HANDLE the stress, worries, sadness and overwhelm when it shows up....because it will! ✨ Recommended ages 12–17 📅 Starts 9th August insha'Allah 💗 Limited spaces available More details and enrol here https://mumsunstuck.com/teens-page

Swipe slides ⬆️ We spend years helping our daughters prepare for exams. But how much time do we spend preparing them for life? For the friendship fallout that leaves them crying in their room. For the negative thoughts that convince them they’re not enough. For social pressure. For disappointment. For failure. For conflict. For learning how to understand what’s happening inside their own mind instead of being controlled by it. If we are completely honest here, we tend to expect so much more from our teenagers than even ourselves! We expect them to have emotional control when many grown adults don’t even have it! What you have to understand is that emotional resilience isn’t something most teenagers simply “pick up.” It’s a skill. An incredibly important skill! And like every skill, it can be taught. That’s exactly why I’m getting ready to run the second cohort of Emotions, Thoughts & Me... a practical, interactive AND supportive programme designed to give teenage girls the resilience tools I genuinely believe every young person should know before they become adults. We’re getting very close to opening a little mini Teens Unstuck, insha’Allah (smiles) If you’ve got a daughter aged around 12-17, keep watching this space. I honestly think this is one of the most important things I’ve ever built….because prevention is ALWAYS better than cure. Stay tuned!!! 🖤

Guess what I’ve just finished doing…. V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V I’ve just wrapped up recording the welcome video for the LIVE Emotions, Thoughts & Me training for Teens Unstuck 🖤 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Teens are facing SO much pressure at the same time as they are being bombarded with BIG emotions they are learning to navigate…. It’s a lot!!! I remember one of my girls knocking on my bedroom door when she was 12, crying, telling me she didn’t know why she was crying and she just felt sad. Teens are going through incredible changes and figuring out how they fit into this world. They are also bombarded with a lot of negative thoughts about themselves and they NEED to be taught how to handle all these things. Insha’Allah, this 4 week LIVE program with mentorship community, will help teach teenage girls how to handle the dark thoughts and BIG feelings so they CAN see how much more capable they are THATNO they give themselves credit for! I’m just wrapping up the last details and will open registration in the next day or two insha’Allah These are the tools most of us wish we had at their age!! ❤️‍🩹🖤

Ladies who showed up to the end hi-5s being sent out to you!!! It was lovely to see you all play full out and participate!!! The 48 hour replay will be sent out soon insha’Allah 🫶

▶️ LIVE in one hour insha’Allah Still time to register and join us 🙌 Ladies only!!! https://mumsunstuck.com/secrets

▶️ LIVE today!!! Ladies only!!! https://mumsunstuck.com/secrets