Mums Unstuck

I posted this inside my membership community today….⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️ Asalaamu alaikum ladies, I thought I’d share something with you that happened between myself and one of my teens a couple of years ago…. She was 18 at the time…. An 18 year old, obviously, is an adult. She could be married and running her own home. She isn’t a child and for a long time I hadnt treated her as such. Years in fact. As she has got older, she obviously also understands her newly acquired officially recognised “adult” stage and she began making her own plans to meet with friends or do something and would tell us “I’m meeting so and so on such and such day and we’re going to this place” I’d “correct” her in a jokey way saying something like : “do you mean “CAN I go to such and such place with so and so?” ▶️i was correcting without making a fuss her request for permission rather than giving a statement She would laugh  and then ask This had happened a few times over a few months she had made plans- and each time, I’d ask her to “try again” hinting she needed to ask not tell….(these are in the tool cards by the way) I told her you know we’re not going to say no, but you still need to ask….. Anyhoo…. We were sitting together chilling in the evening and she ASKED me “can I go such and such with my friends next Friday?” We had a moment of smile between one another because we both knew what she just did It took a few reminders of gentle “correction” in a JOKEY light-hearted way for her to change the way she approached the request…. The reason I wanted to teach her even though she is an adult to still ASK (because living in the West that isn’t something a typical 18 year old would do) Is because from our Islamic etiquette this is what is from our ways and once she is married inshaAllah, she will have to ask her husband’s permission to go out as he is her protector. The point I’m trying to share with you from my experience with my own daughter, is that A) it wasn’t a BIG deal so I didn’t make it one B) I was light with her every time and used humour to correct her C) I reminded her each time she TOLD me what she was doing, to ASK if she could D) after maybe just 2 or 3 events, she finally got the hint and asked instead of telling her plans I don’t think the way I’m sharing is quite converging the message I want to actually share with you …. I might need to find a time to talk about this instead !!! But I hope you can put it together I wanted to share because I want you to know even with grown up teen children, we’re still “doing the work” As our children reach new ages and stages, they grow into new ideas, situations and challenges and we still are on hand to support and guide inshaAllah _________________ Interested in joining the community? www.mumsunstuck.com