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some of you lot piss me off and have me laughing in disbelief in the same breath. አድናቆት or compliment እራሳቸውን ችለው መቆም የሚችሉ ለምን እንደማይመስላችሁ አላውቅም፣ የግድ የሆነች ሰንካላ criticism አብራ ካልታዘለች ያዞራችሗል ልማኦ። i’ve observed this on TikTok for a while, especially on women creators. whether they’re painting, singing or playing an instrument. ወንዶችም ሆነው ትንሽ ልጅ ቢጤ ከመሰሉ እና እንደሚያውቅ ሰው ብታብጠለጥሏቸው ምንም እንደማያመጡ እርግጠኛ ስትሆኑ። በሰላም ሀገር comment section ስር የሚደበሩ አንድ ሰውዬ ወይ ሴትዮ አይጠፉም “እ ስዕሉ እኮ ቆንጆ ነበር ኮንሴፕቱ ጥሩ ሆኖ ሳለ፣ ትንሽ ካንቫሷ ተጣመመችብሽ፣ የሆነች ቀለም ቦርጨቅ ብላብሻለች እንጂ ጎበዝ ነሽ፣ በርቺ” “ድምፅሽ ዋው! ግን ሀይ ፒች ሆነብሽ (it’s always high pitch lmao) እ መሀል ላይ ያወጣሻት ድምፅ አበላሸቸው እንጂ አቅም አለሽ፣ በርቺ” see how insufferable that sounds? criticism is necessary, but only if you have the expertise to do so or you’ve spent a long time on the subject you’re criticising. the expertise ያለው ሰው criticise ሲያደርግ ያምርበታል፣ heartfelt and authentic advice እንደሆነ ያስታውቃል፣ a whole bunch of nonsense ስትሉም ያስታውቃል። ካደነቃችሁ ዝምብላችሁ አድንቁ፣ አለበለዚያ አታስቁኝ።

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መጀመሪያ ስለ ፖለቲካ ለማወቅ ለመጠየቅ ትንሽም interested የሆንኩት የመጀመሪያው የትግራይ ጦርነት ጊዜ ነበር። እድሜ ለ ትዊተር፣ በጣም ብዙ ሰው ይንገበገባል፣ ብዙ የሚፅፉት፣ የሚሟገቱት ነበራቸው። I remember feeling like an imposter among them, because I had no idea what was going on and as embarrassing as this is, I didn’t care. Because you know? As long as it’s not me or those who I care about it’s really not that important. እነ ማሚ የሚያውቋቸው ሰዎች ጋር ስልክ ሲደውሉ አይሰራም፣ የማውቃቸው የጊቢ ተማሪዎች ተጠሩ። ትንሽ ፐርሰናል ሆነ አይደል? ትንሽ አስብ ትንሽ እጨነቅ ትንሽ እፀልይ ጀመር። ሰከንድ ይር ተማሪ ሆነን ከመቀሌ ዩኒቨርስቲ ተበትነው ወደእኛ ጊቢ የመጡ ተማሪዎች ነበሩ፣ አኗኗሪ ነበሩ፣ ጥድፍ ጥድፍ ብሎ ሁሉም ነገር አልቆባቸው መቼ መጥተው መቼ እንደሄዱም አላስታውስም፣ ያሳዝኑኛል። ቀርቤ ባወራቸው እና ባይናቸው ያዩትን፣ the reality they lived ባወቅሁ ኖሮ ብዬ ይቆጨኛል። አራተኛ አመት ደግሞ አማራ ክልልም ጦርነት ደረሰ፣ ሰለኖርኩበት ጓደኞች ስላሉኝ አንጀቴ ጋር የሚሰማኝ ህመም ነበር። 7 ወር ቁጭ ብለን ስንመለስ ብዙ PTSD የነበረባቸው ልጆች ነበሩ፣ ትንሽ ድምፅ trigger የሚያደርጋቸው። አብዛኞቹ were desensitised, አንድ እሁድ ማታ ግቢያችን ውስጥ የሚገርም ተኩስ ተከፍቶ እኛ በዳዴ ሮጠን ስንደበቅ ለሰከንድ ያልደነገጡ፣ እኛኑ አይዟችሁ ያሉን። ጦርነት እና ሰላም ማጣት እንዴት መልክ እንደሚቀይር፣ እንደሚያሳቅቅ፣ እንዴት የከተማ አየር እና ሽታ እንደሚቀይር፣ እንዴት helpless እንደሚያደርግ በጣም በትንሹ አይቻለሁ፣ ሰምቻለሁ። የትግራይን እናቶች እያየሁ አይኔ በለቅሶ ብዛት ሊፈነዳ፣ ስንት እና ስንት ልጅ፣ ባል፣ ወዳጅ፣ ዘመድ ከቀበሩ በሗላ፣ ስንት inexplicable horror ካሳለፉ ከተተለተሉ በሗላ የትኛው አይዟችሁ እንደሚጠግናቸው አላውቅም፣ መጠገኑ ቀርቶ ሌላ ሊጨመርባቸው። I couldn’t imagine living in their reality for a minute እንጃ እኔ እንዴት መሽቶ እንደሚነጋላቸው። አንጀት ሲበሉ በየኮመንት ሴክሽን ስር ያሉት ወጣቶች፣ እኔ አላውቅም ብቻ። ከየት እንደምጀምር፣ ለየትኛው እና እንዴት እንደሚፀለይም አላውቅበት ለዚህ የጉድ ሀገር።
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whenever i go shopping, it’s the faces i see. is you patient enough to handle my indecisiveness? or are you gonna stand over there and መገላመጥ me like you’re the one paying? የእንጀራ ጉዳይ ሆኖ እንጂ most of the people working in customer service are not supposed to be working there. ሲሆን ሲሆን according to their personality they don’t even like interacting with people. ያሳዝኑኛል ሲመናቀሩ and i try to laugh it off. their lack of common decency is not justifiable but some part of me believes they’d be good at their jobs if they were working in a field they liked. i don’t believe in working a job that i don’t like or one i wouldn’t grow into enjoying, i’m actually so serious about this. ”የት ነው የምትኖሪው Deborah?🙂” እንዳትሉኝ። i’m very well aware of the reality most people live in and i have this opinion because i’m probably privileged enough to have it. life is taxing enough as it is let alone finding yourself day in and day out in an environment that you hate. ቢሆንልን i wish for people to earn a living from the things they love and care about, ህልም አይከለከል።
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It took me years of wandering through oceans of friendships and connections to realise that my belief in me being unlovable came from the exposure to people who were not kind, people who projected so much of their insecurities and anger towards me and not because I was cursed. Learning to accept that I’m lovable, people enjoy my company and look forward to our conversations has been the most bittersweet experience I’ve had. I had to unlearn the pattern of always looking for that hint of disgust, jealousy and competitiveness in the eyes of people. I’m grateful to have learned that there are days where I have been the problem but that’s not always the case. For I write this from a place of knowing whatever unkindness, negativity and spite thrown at me has nothing to do with who I am as a human being. And I will not make the mistake of believing it determines how I speak and think about myself again. This statement stays even if you someday find yourself to be the problem too.
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