Lanterns of Tawheed

It’s extremely difficult for a father to think of handing off his daughter knowing she may live a life less comfortable than the one he provided for her, but I remember him telling my mother that it would be hypocritical of him to expect others to give their daughters to his sons in marriage while they were unstable, yet reject other young men in the same positions for his own daughters. I realized that most of the other parents I’ve observed don’t even consider their sons’ chastity as their responsibility. They’re completely disconnected from the idea of getting them married, only stepping in for formalities and wedding parties, while offering no assistance or support. This is a major reason so many men marry later, and hence risk more Fitnah throughout their youth. I’ve seen some teenage boys begging their parents to assist them in marriage, while their parents are wealthy, and suitable, willing girls are abundant among their relatives, yet the parents refuse, saying “Let him become something first and stand on his own two feet!” Do they not consider how long that takes in this day and age, and how early the desire for marriage comes to a pious, chaste young man? Do they not realize what the alternative is for their sons?! Do they not consider the environment we live in? Do they not know their responsibility to their children? How can one feel content sleeping at night, knowing that he is the sole obstacle standing between his child and the Halāl? How can he go about peacefully in his day, knowing that any moment, his sons may fall into immorality due to him? Alhamdulillāh, the children are taught the rights of their parents and they know their responsibilities towards them very well. But the more you observe, you find that most parents are severely under-educated in the rights of their children and their responsibilities towards them. Everything about your children is an Amānah, and in the heat of youth, their chastity of one of the greatest responsibilities that you have to ensure, even if it means sacrificing your wealth — if only more parents understood this and pondered on it. My fathers attitude towards this matter has left a wonderful impact on my siblings and I, influencing our plans for our future children Insha’Allah. Along with that, it has truly been a beautiful example for others, leaving many who know our financial situation amazed at how he sacrificed for his children, prioritizing their chastity over luxury or prodigality. May Allāh reward him abundantly!” — Shared