Our Side of the Story
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i feel so incapacitated when every time i encounter someone in a terrible situation, all i can do is journal it down and go about my life.
ᨠá áá á˛áá áá° á¤áľá áá á¨ááľááľá°á ááááľ á¨áá˝á? we were talking about how my braids were done with five wigs when a very frightened woman walked closer to us, i panicked because iâve been hearing a lot of horror stories about how people are getting robbed these days and my first instinct was to step back from her. i spared her a second glance because i saw literal agony in her eyes. i honestly donât remember what she said the first few seconds, she was just crying. something about leaving her kid alone at home to go out and beg for money because she couldnât pay rent. we gave her what we could and started to go our way when she started sobbing and said
âá áá´ ááá˝ áľáá áá
ááłâ
âáĽáş itâs okayâ
âáĽáá´ HIV á á˝á°á ááľ áĽáá áĽáá°áá áááá ááŁá áá áá á¨áá°áá á áŁá áá
ááł áááá ááŁá áá
ááłâ
she kept apologising because she wanted someone to listen to her and and consider her a human being.
i went over everything i considered as a solution in my head but none of them had longevity other than giving her false hope. all i could afford was âá ááá˝â the very thing i hate the most to say for someone in situations like this.
anyway, happy Wednesday?
some of you lot piss me off and have me laughing in disbelief in the same breath. á áľáááľ or compliment áĽáŤáłá¸áá á˝áá ááá á¨áá˝á ááá áĽáá°ááááľáá˝á á ááá
áᣠá¨ááľ á¨ááá˝ á°ááŤá criticism á áĽáŤ áŤááłááá˝ áŤááŤá˝áá áááŚá˘
iâve observed this on TikTok for a while, especially on women creators. whether theyâre painting, singing or playing an instrument. áááśá˝á ááá áľáá˝ áá
á˘á¤ á¨áá°á áĽá áĽáá°ááŤáá
á°á áĽáłáĽá ááĽáá¸á ááá áĽáá°ááŤáᥠáĽááá á áľáľááá˘
á á°áá ááá comment section áľá á¨áá°á አá ááľ á°áᏠáá á´áľáŽ á áá áá
âἠáľáá áĽáŽ ááá áá á áŽáá´ááą áĽáŠ áá áłáᣠáľáá˝ áŤááŤáˇ á°áŁááá˝áĽá˝áŁ á¨ááá˝ ááá áŚáá¨á
áĽááĽáťáá˝ áĽáá áá á áá˝áŁ á ááşâ
âáľáá
á˝ áá! áá áá áá˝ áááĽá˝ (itâs always high pitch lmao) ἠááá áá áŤááŁáťáľ áľáá
á á áá¸á¸á áĽáá á á
á á áá˝áŁ á ááşâ
see how insufferable that sounds?
criticism is necessary, but only if you have the expertise to do so or youâve spent a long time on the subject youâre criticising.
the expertise áŤáá á°á criticise á˛áŤá°áá áŤááá áłáᣠheartfelt and authentic advice áĽáá°áá áŤáľáłáááᣠa whole bunch of nonsense áľáľáá áŤáľáłáááá˘
áŤá°ááá˝á áááĽáá˝á á áľááᣠá áá áá፠á áłáľááá˘
ááááŞáŤ áľá ááá˛áŤ áááá
ááá á¨á
áľáá˝á interested á¨áááŠáľ á¨ááááŞáŤá á¨áľááŤá áŚáááľ áá áá áᢠáĽáľá á áľáá°áᣠá áŁá áĽá á°á áááá ááŁáᣠáĽá á¨áá
ááľáŁ á¨ááááąáľ áá áŤá¸áᢠI remember feeling like an imposter among them, because I had no idea what was going on and as embarrassing as this is, I didnât care. Because you know? As long as itâs not me or those who I care about itâs really not that important. áĽá áá á¨ááŤááá¸á á°áá˝ áá áľáá á˛á°áá á áá°áŤáᣠá¨áááá¸á á¨áᢠá°ááŞáá˝ á°á áŠá˘ áľáá˝ ááá°áá áá á áá°á? áľáá˝ á áľáĽ áľáá˝ áĽá¨áá
áľáá˝ áĽááá áááá˘
á°á¨ááľ áá á°á᪠ááá á¨ááá áŠáá¨ááľá˛ á°á áľáá áá°áĽá áᢠá¨áᥠá°ááŞáá˝ áá áŠáŁ á áá᪠áá áŠáŁ áĽáľá áĽáľá áĽá ááá ááá á áááŁá¸á ááź ááĽá°á ááź áĽáá°ááąá á ááľáłááľáᣠáŤáłááááᢠááᤠáŁááŤá¸á áĽá áŁááá¸á áŤáŠáľáᣠthe reality they lived áŁáá
á áᎠáĽáŹ ááá¨ááá˘
á áŤá°á á ááľ á°áá á á፠áááá áŚáááľ á°á¨á°áŁ á°ááááŠá áľ áá°áá˝ áľááá á ááá´ áá á¨áá°áá á
áá áá áᢠ7 áá áá áĽáá áľááááľ áĽá PTSD á¨áá á¨áŁá¸á ááá˝ áá áŠáŁ áľáá˝ áľáá
trigger á¨ááŤá°ááá¸áᢠá áĽáááš were desensitised, á ááľ áĽááľ ááł áá˘áŤá˝á ááľáĽ á¨áááá á°áŠáľ á°á¨ááś áĽá á áłá´ áŽá á áľáá°á á
áá°á¨ááľ áŤáá°áááĄáŁ áĽáá á ááá˝á áŤááᢠáŚáááľ áĽá á°áá ááŁáľ áĽáá´áľ ááá áĽáá°ááááᣠáĽáá°ááŤáłá
á
ᣠáĽáá´áľ á¨á¨á°á á á¨á áĽá á˝áł áĽáá°ááááᣠáĽáá´áľ helpless áĽáá°ááŤá°áá á áŁá á áľááš á ááťááᣠá°ááťááá˘
á¨áľááŤáá áĽááśá˝ áĽáŤá¨á á áá á áá
áś áĽááľ ááááłáŁ áľááľ áĽá áľááľ áá
ᣠáŁáᣠááłá
ᣠáááľ á¨áá አá ááᣠáľááľ inexplicable horror áŤáłáá á¨á°á°áá°á á áá á¨áľáá á ááá˝á áĽáá°áá ááá¸á á ááá
áᣠáá áá áááś áá áá¨áááŁá¸áᢠI couldnât imagine living in their reality for a minute áĽáá áĽá áĽáá´áľ áá˝áś áĽáá°ááááá¸áᢠá áááľ á˛á á á á¨áŽáááľ á´áá˝á áľá áŤááľ ááŁáśá˝áŁ áĽá á ááá
á áĽáťá˘
á¨á¨áľ áĽáá°ááááᣠáá¨áľáá áĽá áĽáá´áľ áĽáá°ááááá á ááá
á áľ ááá
á¨ááľ áááá˘
whenever i go shopping, itâs the faces i see. is you patient enough to handle my indecisiveness? or are you gonna stand over there and ááááἠme like youâre the one paying?
á¨áĽáá፠ááłá áá áĽáá most of the people working in customer service are not supposed to be working there. á˛áá á˛áá according to their personality they donât even like interacting with people. áŤáłáááá á˛áááአand i try to laugh it off. their lack of common decency is not justifiable but some part of me believes theyâd be good at their job if they were working in a field they liked.
i donât believe in working a job that i donât like or one you wouldnât grow into enjoying, iâm actually so serious about this.
âá¨áľ áá á¨ááľááŞá Deborah?đâ áĽááłáľááá˘
iâm very well aware of the reality most people live in and i have this opinion because iâm probably privileged enough to have it.
life is taxing enough as it is let alone finding yourself day in and day out in an environment that you hate.
á˘áááá i wish for people to earn a living from the things they love and care about, á
áá á áá¨áá¨áá˘
if youâve stayed here enough, you already know i love everything that is music.
as someone who claims to love music, Iâve listened to almost every genre and my ears are always ready to explore new songs.
i even had a âperformative music loverâ erađ¤ where i pretended to love hip hop and tortured myself with memorising the lyrics. there are a few artists i still like honestly, but youâre less likely to find anything hip hop in my playlists.
the type of music youâre into isnât to market yourself to people and be seen as cool, itâs about finding what embodies your soul and what you canât put into words no matter how hard you try. because some experiences of being human are only better explained through art. and itâs all about finding that specific color of music that perfectly paints your insides.
if you donât like jazz, please donât listen to it. leave it to those who do. find your own taste, i promise you itâs there.
can someone tell who you are based on the type of music you listen to? yes it is that deep.
also know that itâs not necessary to love music lol, you may not have the interest to sit down and spend hours listening to the same song or obsess over hunting for albums of an artist you liked and thatâs completely okay.
you wonât be cooler because you listen to every genre and youâre not gonna be less cool because you only know popular TikTok songs (i will judge you lmao but thatâs not the point).
point yalew aymeslegnim but anywayâŚ
nostalgia ááá ááᢠunintentionally you miss the most terrible and virulent moments of your life.
nostalgic áľáá á¨áŤá´ áá áááἠáŤáľá áááᣠáá
áśá˝á á¨ááş áĽáŹ áľáťáľ áĽááŁá˘
áľáľá ááááľ? áŤáá á áá itâs the time of the most vulnerable, weak and being at the mercy of those you claimed to love áá á¨áááá
á˝? á¨áááá˘
iâm lost in the trance of nostalgia more than iâm not. i look so sane and present on the outside, but my insides are reminiscing about a moment that happened years ago.
nostalgia will have you go back on the promises you made to yourself, all the insights and wisdom youâve gained áááĽá á áľáá ááĽááľ áá˝áá áłáᣠá¨á°áá á¨á áĽááłáá°áá á¨áŁ á¨á°ááá°á áĽááłáá°ááá°áŁ áĽáá á áŤáľááá á¨á°áŁáááľá áá áŤáľá¨áłáᢠáľáá á¨ááłá°áá áľáŤá á áá˝á áľááłáŁ á°áľ á¨ááľáᢠa high you donât want to come down from. but you must, you must.
i love it so much, i have no idea who i would be without my nostalgic soul, but i hate that itâs a prison cell that i wonât ever get to escape from.
ááľ á áááᣠá¤á°áᣠá¤ááłâŚááĽáŹá á¨áá¨áłá¸á á áááľáááᢠThey were the most kind, soft and friendly of all our teachers.
ááľ á ááá is popular in every generation of mount olive students. á áá á¨ááŤáľáłááłáľ áŤá áĽá áĽááŁááá˘
áá á ááá áĽáá°ááአᨠtwitter áĽá instagram á ááľ áĽáˇ ááľ á¨ááá¨á˝áá˘
Now after all those years, áĽáá Miss áĽá¨á°áŁáአ(even though I donât teach lol), i always remind myself that this place is not just a school for these kids, itâs where they learn how to be humans, to love and receive love, how to find solace in their friends and teachers when things are rough at home, i have so little influence in their lives but i try to be intentional.
âMiss they donât want to be my friend, i try so hard to make them forgive me but they keep saying go back to your schoolâ heâs only eight, but he has already mastered people pleasing so he can be accepted and loved. áŁááááłá¸ááᣠáĽááŁá¸á á°áľ áááá áááŚá˘
it keeps getting worse á áá ááá áŤáłááááá˘
with the same heartbreak i cried about when i was eight to my favourite teachers, i now am the responsible adult for giving the antidote for the heartbreak of these kids.
ah time.
whatever led me to this job and place, every experience i had as a child á°áááś ááĽáś áłáŁáĽáá¸á áłáľáá¸áâŚwhen their perspective shifts right before my eyes and they get their little spark back, i know and believe that all is well.
this moment right here just like my childhood and now memories, is a pavement that someday iâll be grateful for.
áá ááľ áĽá á°ááľáá áá áĽáť :).
áľáááľ a ride chauffeur, who I was very nice to, made me cry so bad, gave me a full on body tremor. I donât know how to react when someone is verbally violent, á፠áááĄáá á áŁáᢠlike do you hear how ugly you sound? self conceptâá á˝á á áá áá˝áŁá˝áá?
He deliberately missed two routes and I only asked which way he was planning to go both times. I donât think heâs used to being questioned, á°á á¨áᣠá¨ááŠáá˘
á°ááá¨á¨áŁ
âááľáá˝ áááá áá áâ
âááá
áĽáŽ áá á¨ááłááá á°ááá°áá áá áá
ááłâ
á°á¨áľáᣠáĽáá°ááá
âáá° áá áĽáşâ áĽá
ááĽáŁ ááááĽâŚáĽáą
âáá° áá áĽáĽâ
âá°ááá˝ áĽáŽ áĽááąâ
áááá ááá áááá áááľ áĽáááááᣠá°á áááĽá áááŁáᣠáá ááááĽá á¨áá˝á á áááľáááᣠá¨áá ááá ááĽáá´ á¨ááľ ááâŚááľá I canât see the fault in people, iâm always the issue. áľáŽ áá áá ááᣠáá
áĽáŤááᢠapparently not á áአáľáááľá˘
âáĽá¨á°ááŁá¸á áá áłáááá?â
âá§?? áĽá¨á°ááŁá¸á? áľáᣠá áłáááâ
Adult Debbie left the car, I donât remember when, and my inner child took over. áłáłáá áĽáĽá ááá á ááŠáŁ áĽááŁáŹ ááŁáŁ áľáá
á°á áááá á¨áľáźáᣠá˛á°áľá á áá á ááŠáľáŁ á˝áá á¨ááá debs you can defend yourself now áááľ á ááĽáᣠmy hands started shaking I couldnât hand him the money right
âá ááĽáá á ááĽááâ
âáĽáş áá
ááłâ áĽáŹ áá¨áľáŠá˘
it was that Tuesday night in 5th grade all over again, ፠á°á 4 á°á áľ in 9th grade where i said the same âáĽáş áá
ááłâ without knowing where my fault was, all the years of apologising for existing.
áľá á˛áá áá°áŤ áá á ááŁá¤áŁ áłá áĽááłááá ááłá á˘áŤ á¤áľ ááĽáź á¨áá áá´á á áĽááᣠá¨áá
áá¤á á áŁáĽáŹáŁ á áá journal áľá°á¨ááŤáá˝ á ááş trigger áĽáŹ áá° áľáŤáŹá˘
In so many ways á áľááż Debbie á°ááźááłááᣠáľáĽáľáĄ áá áĽá standing up for her áá áľáá˝ ááá¨á ááá ááá˘
baby stepsᣠá á°áἠá¨áťááŠá áľ á áááŤá˝áá á¨ááá˝áđ¤
Repost from History
Sir David Attenborough (b. 1926, turns 100 today) in the 1950s. He joined the BBC in the 1950s as a trainee, going on to present Zoo Quest as his first major nature documentary.
Repost from The Conscientious Observer
Official Blender3D video for Dead Internet Society featuring Mussie Gebreselassie.
On this piece, I cover the constant state of invisibility within the writer's realm over a concept video done by the ever so talented and brilliant Moss.
The link to the full video:
https://youtu.be/fwcm4SCy1Oo
Repost from Brown Empire
Pretty hurts
áĽáľá áĽáŹ áĽáá°ááአá áľáá¤á á¨ááá°á áááᣠááá á¨ááá ááľ áĽáľáŞááŁáá áááááľ áŁááááĽáᣠááĽáśááá áĽáľáŤááá áľá¨áľ ááľáłááľ ááľ áŁááťáĽáŁ áľááľ áĽáľá á á°áá áá á?
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áἠá
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á áá áá âáá áĽáŽ ááá áá˝ ááá áĽáá˛á
áá°ááťá?â á¨ááá á áľá°áŤá¨áľ áááľááľ ááŻá˝á áĽáá°ááŤáááłáŁ á ááá˝á ááľáłááľ áá áŤá ááľáá˝áá áááá áĽáľááá á°ááľáŽ á áŚáááá áłáľ áĽáá°á¨áá¨á áŤáááá¨áľ áĽáá´áľ ááľá¨áłáľ áĽáá˝ááá?
áĽááááᣠá¨ááá˝á áá á ááá áĽáŤá áĽáá° á°á ááľáĽ ááĽáľ ááá
ááá
á¨áá á
áľá áĽááłáá áĽáá´áľ áááŤáľ áĽáá˝ááá?
âáá
á á˛ááą...â áĽá á¨á°á¨á° ááá áá˝ á¨á áá°á°á? áá
áŤá¸á á á áááŤá˝á á
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áĽá ááᣠáĽáľááŤá˝á 14 áłááá áá áťááľá˛á á¨áá
á¨áááŤá˝á áá áľáááľ âáĽáąá áľá°á˝ áľáá
ááľá˝ áá á áłá°áŠáŞá?â á°áĽáááᢠá á°ááłá˝ á áá á°á°ááłá˝ áá áááá:)
áĽáá áľá°á
áľáá
áá´ á°áá áá á°áŽááŠáá á¨áá
ááľ áŁá´á á¨áá
ááľ áŁáˇ á¨ááŤááłáľáŠáá áá¨ááśá˝áŁ ááá áááŤáá áááá á
ááľ áĽáá°ááŤá°ááá á¨ááłáááá á áľá°á᪠á°áŞáŁ á°á á áľáááá? á áľáááá?
áĽáľá ááá á¨áá¨á°á áľáá
áĽáá°ááľá°áĄá á áłááá? á¨ááľáĽ áľááá˝á á¨áľááŽáł áá áĽá á á˝áá ááá á áŤáłááá˝áá? áľáŤá˝á áᏠá áááś á ááá˝áá áľá ááľááł áľááá˝áá á á¸áá á¨áááŁá á¸áŤáŤ áľááá˝á ááá˘
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ááľ áá°á áŤáᣠáá
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ááááŞáŤ á˘áá´áŞáŠáŞá˛á áá¸áŁáᣠáŤá á˘áá´áŞáŠáŞá˛ á°áŤáá°á áŚá˛ á˛áľááá፠áĽáááááᣠá¨á áááŤá áááľá á á°ááá áá áá¨á°ááᣠáŤáşáá áĽáá°áŤá
áá˝á áĽááá¨áŁááᢠáááľáá á áááá
á˛á áá¨áľ á¨ááááŤá áááᣠáŁáś áŞáľ áĽá áľáŁá´ á áĽáááŤááá˘
âá á°áŤá á áŠá áľáłá áá áĽááľá ááá?â áĽá á áśáľáľ ááľáłááľ áŤáá á ááá ááá¨áľ áŤááá¨á¨á˝ áĽááľáľ ááľáá
ááľ áĽá ááá á¨á
áááľ ááááá á á á¨á áĽáᎠáŚáłáá áŤáá°áá˝ áĽá áá˝áś á áá ááĽá áááááá á á¸á á˘áá´áŞáŠáŞá˛áá˝ áŤáá°á¸ááá˝ á´áľ áá á ááŤáŤá áĽáˇ áá˝á˘
á áĽáááťá˝á áá áá˛áľá°á áĽá ááá
á á¨á°áĄ á áá á°á¸áááááłáᢠáŤááłááá á¨ááá á á´áśá˝ áŤáľ á ááá°ááá áá ááᢠáá áŤáá á¨áŚáá á ááá áá áááᣠáĽááᣠá˝áá˝ááľáŁ á¨á°ááŤáŠ áá áľ áá á ááŤ(áá
áááŤ) á¸ááŚá˝ ááá˘
ááá áť ááľáá¨á áĽáá°áááľ ááᣠhow dare you look like this? Whats with the áľáá˝ á áááŤ?
âá§á¨ á áá¤á´ áá°áĽ ááťáá?â áĽááá
âáąá á ááááá°á ááá á ááľááâ á¨ááá áĽá ááᢠá°áá áĽáŽ nose job, boob job, face lifting, tummy tuck? áŤáá áŞáłá˝áá áĽáá°áá
á á¨á°áĄ ááłáá á ááᏠááᢠáá áá á°á°ááᎠá˘áŁá˘á¤áá á¨ááŤáá°á á áŤáľ áá°áááá˝á áá ááá˘
áá á áá
ááłá˝á á áŤáľ áŤááá°ááá á¨ááľááááá áťá áá áá á¨áá¸áĽááᢠ"ááá á áááá" á¨ááá áĽáŤá á¨áááá¨á áĽááá ááá´á áŤá˛áŤáá˝áá ááá áľáá˝ áá
áľáá ááᢠáĽáá á¨áá áľ á˘áá°áľáľáŞá á áá áĽáľááŤá˝á áá á¨áś áŁáľáááĽáá áłáá˛á áá ááá(á¨ááá áááľááť) á¨ááŤáľáááá˘
ááá áá ááłá¨áľáŁ á¸ááᣠáááá áŤáááá˝ á´áľáŁ á ááááᣠá áľáŤáŁ á áᎠááááŤáľ á ááá˝ áĽááľ á¨áá á°ááᡠá°áŽáŤáá á¨ááľáá¨ááᣠá á°ááá áááľá°áŤá¨áá á¨áá ááᎠá¨á°ááŤáŠ á¨áá áĄáŁ á¨ááᥠáááŽá˝áá áŤááá¨á¨á˝ á´áľ á¤áľ ááá áŤáľá˘ áĽááᣠáá˛áŤáľáŁ á˛áľá¨ááŹá˝á á¨ááłá°ááľá áááĽááľ á á á á°áŁáá ááŽáłááľ áááá§á áŤáá¨á°á¨á°á˝ á´áľ áááŻá á á áŤáŁáŞ ááá˘
áľááľ áĽáŤ á¨áá
ááľ ááá˝áᣠáŽáŚ ááľáŞáŤ ááŁáľááłá˝á á ááá
áááŤááŽá˝ áŤáááŁáĽ á ááááᣠááłá˝á áá ááá¨áľ á°á¸ááá áá¨ááᢠá áááłá˝á á ááľáľá áĽááľ á áááĽáˇáá˘
á ááłááśáťá˝á áľááľá áŤáá áᣠáᣠáĽááłá˝áá áŽá áĽáá âá˛áŤááâ ááááľ 34 á ááľ áá
áśáĽááá˘
Ain't got no doctor or pill that can take the pain away
The pain's inside and nobody frees you from your body
It's the soul, it's my soul that needs surgery
(It's my soul that needs surgery)
Plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far
Then you break when the fake façade leaves you in the dark
You're left with shattered mirrors and the shards of a beautiful past
