THE IRON CIRCLE

There are 2 main reasons why high achieving, professionally successful men are frustrated with dating 1. You want a unicorn girlfriend or wife 2. But you aren’t running anywhere close to the right volume to make this happen in any reasonable time frame You are especially open to this as a high achiever who has an intense career because you have very limited time to meet women You have to grasp that if you want to find your unicorn ride or die girl It is going to require you to seriously load the top of your funnel As in anywhere from 6-12 new phone numbers per week type of loading…. Otherwise you’ll just be hoping and praying that the Gods decide to drop this perfect woman in your lap This is something as a high achieving man, I’d imagine you don’t want…. You only accept the best of the best …. You’re kicking ass in your career from all the hard, focused, strategic effort you’ve put into it Finding your dream girl requires a similar high level STRATEGY to put yourself in the best position to meet her You will be tempted to go to matchmaking for this On paper it sounds great …. “I’ll just skip the hassles of dating by paying heaps of money to meet my dream girl. Efficency 😎” Well as someone who has been mastering dating and male female romantic/sexual dynamics for over a decade I can confidently tell you that chemistry is ANYTHING but checklists on a requirement sheet (which is what matchmaking is based on of course) The amount of times people have ended up dating those who were NOTHING like their described type …. It’s a tale as old as time…. So matchmaking while tempting, is NOT the way Instead here’s what to do in order to max the top of your funnel in the most efficient way possible 1. Get a professional photoshoot that maximizes style and presentation so you can show your best self online - this will print matches on the dating apps 2. Cold approach any hot girl you see in your day to day life This is the formula that all of my busy professional clients use to maximize the top of their funnel so they can QUICKLY meet the women of their dreams Even if you do nothing else as far as any other game strategies or dating skills go , at LEAST you can likely stumble into some success But if you want the absolute best of the best dream dating life You’ll also want to learn the following (But not limited to) -Master efficient texting -Learn how to talk to women and connect with them -Understand how to flirt, arouse, turn them on -Know how to handle objections and concerns -Tell the two in #5 apart -Know how to screen so you find girls who like you for YOU and are not in agenda mercenary mode -Understand and be clear on your dating goals and intentions so you can lead the interactions properly and so on… Even if you’re a guy who’s rich and successful and open to gold diggers Lead with wealth = women more likely to use you Lead with game and maxed presentation = women like you for you And trust me, it’s a LOT better this way…. This is the full way to put your dating life progression on absolute thermonuclear rocket fuel And yields the results of a dating life that only most men would ever even DREAM of It’s also extremely time efficient Which of course is something you value as a busy, successful man Time efficiency + top tier results = problem solved for life

If You're Tired of Pretending You Don't Care You know the cycle. You see someone you like. You hesitate. You tell yourself you're "not thirsty." Then you watch her walk away and spend the next hour replaying what you should've said. Or worse, you approach. It gets awkward. You fumble for words. You leave without a number, convincing yourself she was boring anyway. Stop lying to yourself. You do care. You just don't have a system. This book isn't motivation. It's mechanics. Five problems. Five solutions. 1) Approaching confidently You're nervous. That's fine. You'll learn the exact opener that works whether she's interested or not so rejection stings for 2 seconds instead of 2 days. 2) Getting her contact details Not a "trick." Just a low-friction way to exchange info that doesn't feel like an interview or a sales pitch. She'll actually want to hear from you. 3) Taking her on a fun date Dinner is a trap. Coffee is a job interview. Three date templates that build chemistry instead of boredom, tested, not theoretical. 4) Escalating to the sheets This is where most advice gets vague or creepy. This chapter is neither. Just the logical, calibrated steps from touch to alone time. 5) Seeing one or many at a time Want exclusivity? Fine. Want to date around without lying? Also fine. The exact language to keep things honest so you don't become the guy women warn each other about. Why you should believe any of this You shouldn't. Not yet. I've failed a lot. Maybe more than you, maybe less. Enough to learn. Enough to write it down so you don't have to repeat the same stupid mistakes. This isn't written by a natural. It's written by someone who had to earn every lesson the hard way. What this isn't - No fake screenshots of women begging for you - No pickup lines that work 1% of the time - No promises that you'll be drowning in options by Tuesday If you want magic pills, don’t buy it. What this actually is A long, useful, unpolished book. Read it. Apply one thing the next day. See what happens. If nothing changes, you lost an hour and the price of a sandwich. If something changes? You just saved yourself years of guessing. Click here to read the book Buy it. Don't buy it. I don't need to fake urgency. But if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting and you already know what that looks like.

There’s a reason rich dudes PAY to have entourages of all DUDES vs be surrounded by like 20 hot girls. They get it. Every good wing who is invested in your success like it’s his own is worth ~50 girls. I’ve got my best friends laid >50 times and him the same for me. Sadly, most guys are terrible wings. They’ll either try to low crawl your girl or as soon as they see there’s nothing in it for them that night, they quit, take all their toys, and go home. A good trained wing should get you laid more than you can yourself. He’s a superpower A good player has a lot of notches. An elite player has a lot of ASSISTS. He gets his guys laid and lets them bat way above their league. His struggle isn’t getting laid, it’s keeping his guys from going 😍 mode on the first hottie and peacing out to go play house with her

The #1 sin in game is ‘qualifying ourself’ That is any action we secretly did to change another person’s opinion of us or our worldview. Ironically, also trying to convince people we don’t care what others think of us. Its what women test for but most guys fail before she tests This muscle gets weaker the more we do it. We can’t go from flashing cash on IG, arguing on twitter, getting ripped only to impress girls….then expect to pass her tests in a club. We can’t live the life of a seller and then suddenly and congruently act like we’re the buyer The opposite of qualifying ourselves is expression. In qualifying, we try to ‘steer’ their reaction to how we want them to react. In expression, we don’t ‘steer’ it that is we give freedom to react ‘bad’. Send it and let the chips fall This creates trust and makes them receptive When I talk about projection, I mean a state of expression where you are pre-emptively doing things that ‘dare’ people to judge you and react badly…. not as a tactic but because the happy feeling in you is so strong. This creates massive trust in the whole club and rockstar status

Someone asked me a question in my DMs which was “how to have standards but be not judgmental” Judgment is proactively pushing our standard onto others because of a need to be believed / gain control. Guy with standards would just let his attention drift elsewhere, no need to hurt feelings/ push his view. What guys who are judgmental don’t realize is that, in addition to breaking the vibe, every judgment they pass is a compliance test. They’re begging to be agreed with. They’ll keep doing it and then be confused the group ignores/defies them but they trained them to.

Top player game isn’t being able to get a woman really into you. It’s being able to dial that back so she feels she’s 51% in control of the relationship and is easy to breakup with because it feels it was her choice. Boost attraction when we want to keep her, cut it when we want her to end it. We have to do this for several reasons: - really awesome girls are rare, a waiting game of sorts - best way to patiently pass top girls’ tests is to have a rotation - ethics: we don’t want to get girls really invested and break their hearts. Damage = a sloppy half-ass player

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Boundaries in a relationship is like anything else with chicks. She only wants ‘equality’ until it doesn’t work in her favor anymore. Go do the same shit she is, using her same excuse, and watch how fast that narrative changes. For example: Her: posting slutty social media pics ‘baby I am just being social’ You: ‘accidentally’ chatting up girls (and guys) and getting IGs ‘baby I am just being social’ As soon as it doesn’t work in her favor anymore, it’s the ‘wrong kind’ of equality and she don’t want it anymore. If you don’t like what a girl is doing, you’ll never win by trying to control her. Ever. Just find out how to make it not work in her favor anymore and she’ll stop it as fast as a girl will stop a conversation around why women should be elegible for the draft just like men are.

There’s a case to be made that what’s right and true is for you to put absolutely zero effort into building a relationship with any woman, and on top of that even purposely wreck it, until you run into a woman who just decides you’re her one and refuses to let you go. I don’t fully embrace this philosophy, because in the modern world that woman will probably just not be hot enough tbh, but i can’t bring myself to shit on it either since it definitely creates a more wholesome male-female dynamic.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The hardest truth for men to accept is that women are genuinely okay with short-term romances. Men try to rationalize a pretty woman’s promiscuity as trauma from an “absentee father.” The truth is simpler: women just want to have fun too.

I can’t explain it, but women’s dreams have intuitive powers. Don’t undermine them when they share their dreams with you; it often foreshadows something deeper. If she tells you she had a bad dream with you in it, something in her is about to change toward you. Their dreams connect to their hearts.

The hardest thing is convincing yourself to win tomorrow too. It’s easy to assure yourself today where you’ll be or what you’ll have six months from now but when tomorrow comes, the journey feels long and daunting. Getting through tomorrow, every day, is the hardest thing to do.

Apps are the strangest one because all the early conversation happens with no physical channel at all, which means the first date is doing double duty like building rapport and establishing physical presence at the same time. That’s part of why men who do well in person often struggle on apps. They’re used to escalation building gradually across a single long interaction, and an app date asks them to do it on a much faster clock. The thing to internalise is that escalation isn’t a separate skill from conversation. It’s the second track running underneath it. The men who are good with women are running both tracks at once from the moment they meet her. They’re talking and they’re touching and they’re moving closer, all of it happening at once, none of it announced or made into a moment. If you take nothing else from this, take the part about light contact early. Most of the men who message me struggling with the friend zone are men who never put their hand on her arm in the first thirty minutes. By the time they realised they wanted to, it had been an hour, the moment was gone, and the interaction had already been categorised in her head as something other than what they wanted it to be. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Make contact early, make it light, and let everything that follows be a continuation of something you already started.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ - MOS

Escalation is where most interactions die quietly, and the men it dies on usually don’t even know it happened. The conversation went well. She was laughing. The vibe was good. You walked away thinking you had a real shot, and then the text thread fizzled or the second date never happened or you found out a week later she’s seeing someone else. What went wrong is almost always the same thing. You stayed in conversation mode the whole time and never moved the interaction into something physical, and a woman who has spent two hours with a man who showed no physical intent has already filed him under friend or coworker by the time she goes home. The window to be a romantic option closes faster than men realise, and once it closes, no amount of good texting reopens it. Escalation is the thing that keeps you in the romantic category instead of slipping out of it. It’s not about being aggressive or making big moves. It’s about a steady, low key physical presence that signals you’re a man, not a buddy. The first level is just contact. Light touch on her arm when you’re making a point. A hand on her lower back when you’re moving through a crowd. Brushing her hand when you’re handing her something. None of this is sexual yet. It’s the establishment of physical comfort between you, and it does two things at once. It tells her you’re not nervous about touching her, and it lets her get used to your hands being part of the interaction so the bigger moves later don’t come out of nowhere. Most men skip this entirely. They have a great conversation with a woman, never touch her once, and then try to kiss her at the end of the night. That kiss feels like it came from nowhere because it did. Her body never had a chance to register you as someone who was already physically present in her space, so the sudden move forward feels like a jolt rather than a continuation. The second level is sustained contact. Your hand stays on her back a beat longer than it needed to. You hold her hand when she shows you something on her phone. When she leans in to say something, you don’t lean back to a polite distance afterward. The energy stops being “two friends talking” and starts being “two people who are aware of each other’s bodies.” Reading her response at this stage is where most men either misjudge or freeze. The signals are not subtle once you’re paying attention. If she’s leaning in, holding eye contact for longer than necessary, finding small reasons to touch you back, mirroring your body language, the path is open. If she’s pulling back from contact, creating distance, breaking eye contact quickly, the path is closed and pushing harder is going to make things worse, not better. The third level is direct physical intent. Holding her gaze. Moving close enough that the next step is obvious. The kiss, when it happens, isn’t a question you’re asking with your face. It’s the natural next thing in a sequence she’s already been part of. The men who pull this off cleanly don’t ask permission with their body language and they don’t manufacture some perfect moment. They just close the distance with intention and let her meet them or step back. Both responses give you real information. The big mistake men make at this level is waiting for absolute certainty before they move. There is no absolute certainty. A woman is never going to give you a written invitation, and the man who waits for one ends up being the man she calls a really good friend. Some discomfort with making the move is part of the move. If you only ever escalate when you’re 100% sure, you’ll only ever escalate with women who basically grabbed you first, and that’s not most of them. Different arenas change the timeline. Night game compresses everything. The escalation that would happen across two dates in day game often needs to happen across two hours in a bar, because the interaction doesn’t have a second meeting built into it. Day game gives you slower windows but the contact still has to start during the first interaction or it gets much harder later.

A lot of men come into this work thinking that once they figure out women, the loneliness goes away. They imagine a life where dates are happening, women are responding, sex is more available, and the quiet ache that’s been sitting in their chest for years finally lifts. So they pour everything into the dating side of things, sometimes for years. And at some point most of them notice something they weren’t expecting. The loneliness is still there. Sometimes it’s worse. The men who get good at dating but stay lonely eventually arrive at the same realisation. What they were calling loneliness was never really about not having a woman. It was about going through life without being known by anyone. Without a single person who could see them as a full human being rather than as a role they were playing. A girlfriend doesn’t fix that. She’s meeting a different need. Romantic and sexual, which is real and valuable, but she’s not the person who knew you at fourteen, or sat with you the night your dad got sick, or who you could call at two in the morning without it being weird. That kind of presence in a man’s life almost always comes from other men. Friendships built over years, where there’s history and trust and the comfort that doesn’t have to trying to act different. Most men in their late 20s and 30s don’t have this anymore. The friendships from school faded. The ones from work stayed surface level. Somewhere along the way the idea of male friendship got reduced to occasional drinks and watching sport together. It’s not enough. It was never going to be enough. When a man with no real male friendships gets into a relationship, he puts the entire weight of his social and emotional life onto the woman. She becomes his only real person. That’s a lot to ask of any relationship and it’s part of why men in this position feel a strange panic when their girlfriend pulls away even slightly. There’s nothing else holding the structure up. Lose her and you lose your whole social world in one move. Women feel this weight even when men don’t realise they’re putting it on them, and it changes how they relate to him. This is one of the harder things to say to men who are deep in the dating improvement world because the implication is uncomfortable. Some of the energy you’re putting into getting better with women would produce a much better life if it went into rebuilding friendships with men. Reconnecting with people you’ve drifted from. Joining things where you’ll see the same men week after week and let actual relationships form over time. It’s slower and less dramatic than the dating stuff. There’s no obvious reward at the end, just the gradual realisation that you have people in your life who actually “know” you. The loneliness was never about a woman. It was about being a man with no one to be a man around. Fix that and the dating side of things gets less heavy, because it’s no longer carrying weight it was never built to carry. Don’t fix it and even a good relationship will eventually feel like it’s not quite enough. You’ll think the problem is her or the relationship when it was actually the shape of the rest of your life all along.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ - MOS

Q & A Ask me your questions on dating or general life stuff

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Every guy who dates hot women has “their thing” that they invite women into. They’re not just asking her out for drinks and praying that she doesn’t flake. Examples: - The musical guy has concerts and psychedelics - The nightlife guy gets her into the best parties/clubs (and has drugs) - The photography guy takes pics of her - Outdoorsy guy takes her hiking/camping - Country guy takes her 2 stepping/teaches her how to shoot guns - Religious guy invites her to church events Figure out what your “thing” is and bring girls into it.

If you’re fat, broke and a dweeb, you should watch Solo leveling You'll eventually realize that what the protagonist is doing is something you can do irl (stop being a loser) Take for ex the gym: you’re not getting exp points to level up your strength after completing a task but one week you can lift 10lbs for 6 reps, then the next week 8 reps, then the next 10 reps, then the next you can lift 12 lbs for 6 reps and so on Take whatever example you need to get out of the hole