Scribbles

"ወዶ የገባ ሰው ፣ ከባህር ከውሃው ዋኝቶ ይውጣው እንጂ ሌላ ማን ሊረዳው?" I hope the bystanders are better than this. Even if they witness my act of willingness and my participation in all of these, I hope my lack of knowledge factors. I hope they know I didn't know. For if I did, I wouldn't have followed. Return your smile that would lead me to my doom, reply to a conversation with a conversation a hand with a hand, I wouldn't have. Would I? If I had known I would have spent days with a heavy heart, and nights in agony I wouldn't have fallen. And I hope the bystanders are better than the cruelty of not lending me a hand. I hope someone has seen despite my skipping legs and my jumping heart I didn't know anything else. I didn't know not to love you. My ears weren't trained enough to pick a lie from your two truths, to rethink maybe you didn't mean it. If I had known the stomach that had felt butterflies would be the first victim, and I would feel you not loving me deep in my gut, perhaps I wouldn't have followed. Deep in the sea, in this love of yours had I known, I wouldn't have dipped in. If I had known, ultimately I would have to rely on the act of kindness of a bystander perhaps I wouldn't have loved you. I hope someone realizes the only thing I did to be in this predicament was trusting you. "እሷን እሷን ሁለት እጇን ይዛችሁ ጠይቋት፣ ዋናተኛ ጠላቂ ሰው ከሆንሽ አውጪው በሏት..." But I have a feeling the universe played a sick joke on me, and you will not save me, even if you know how to swim. I hear your voice, shocked and amused, voicing aloud why on earth I had thought you loved me. You don't let anyone know it's because you told me. And I have a lung full of water to say my truth. Why didn't you love me? Why have I gotten punished for loving you with my full heart, returning the kindness I thought you had given me? Why did I get punished for my naivety? I hope someone has seen. Though I followed you willingly, I hope strangers are better than they seem. I hope their hands catch me. And I hope - I hope I make it. #RANDOM_THOUGHTS