Nodira - 101 Ways to Stay Sane

yay

do you know how you easily wake up from any illusions and wishful thinking? by falling down the stairs early in the morning

on Thursday had the chance to meet Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, currently mentor and philanthropist. A brilliant self-taught engineer since young age, he teamed up with his friend Steve Jobs in the mid-1970s. Wozniak built the Apple I computer almost entirely by himself — he just wanted to make cool tech for hobbyists. Jobs, ever the visionary businessman, saw its commercial potential. Together, they started Apple in 1976 in a garage (yes, the legendary garage story is true). Woz went on to design the Apple II, one of the first mass-market personal computers and a huge success. While Jobs drove the company’s vision and marketing, Woz was the technical guy behind the curtain. Eventually, Woz left Apple in the mid-80s (on good terms) to pursue other interests, but he’s still celebrated as the engineering soul of the company’s origin. Brains + vision = Apple. Woz was definitely the “brains” part of that equation. You can be the smartest person in the room, but if you can’t communicate your ideas, you might as well be invisible. The world doesn’t automatically recognize genius—it notices what’s well-presented, well-explained, and well-marketed. Taking Steve Wozniak’s words. At one of the universities he’s involved with, engineering students don’t just build things—they learn how to write about them in a way that editors can actually publish and anyone can comprehend. Because if people don’t understand your work, it might as well not exist. It’s not about bragging– it’s about making sure your brilliance isn’t lost in translation. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, but you do want to be clear and visible. Otherwise, someone else—maybe with half your talent but better communication—will take the spotlight instead. Wozniak’s words also made me think of the Durov brothers, Pavel and Nikolai. Also, of my classmate’s words when we were in Zulfiya award ceremony and how he mentioned that were I better in communicating in Uzbek (smth i’m still working on), I wouldn’t be sitting and watching my opponents shine. (I still believe such awards are corrupted tho) @summernotes

this post was slightly delayed, was supposed to be written on 8th of March actually. it’s pleasant when life gets so busy you’ve got no time for pervasive thoughts and emotions that might have haunted you in your less productive days. yet whenever i get a small fraction of time for a break, i bounce back to the same pitfall. but it’s changing, slowly yet it is. the past few days were hectic outwardly, yet i have never been so calm from within. partially it came from my cutting off several of my friends from my life. misaligned views on what it means “friendship,” where open insults were often mistaken for care, or where there simply was not enough understanding anymore. in the past, i used to find a person to spend time with whenever i got some free time, be that during weekends or after short work day. i had this curious urge to fill in the free time with a company of another person where in reality the best thing to do was to get comfortable with my own company, even though i mostly used to work and study solo a few years ago. thank god that my last few days i spent on my own. serenity throughout made me oddly empty yet relieved at the same time. it made me think of many issues i had in relationships, and also realize certain aspects of it. that, for instance, i cannot force a person to trust me when they are incapable of doing so to begin with. no matter how much patience and understanding, care or support you offer to a person, they will grow distant if they chose to. for whatever internal conflicts they have. and it’s okay. you cannot expect someone to build a good relationship with you when they don’t have one even with themselves. you offer your help, nonetheless, mainly because that’s who you are. perhaps simply staying true to oneself and doing what matters is most reasonable thing to do.

what to do if TurnItIn shows a 30% AI generated content even if it was completely your own work? these detectors seem pretty unreliable sometimes

but i didn’t come here just to complain. one rule i made for myself: don’t delay conversations. • if a call needs to be made, do it as soon as you get the chance. • if a message needs a reply, do it despite the discomfort (i’m talking about important ones with tasks—i still take days to answer low-priority messages). especially if you’re a team leader. i was reluctant to write anything in the team group while we were organizing the event. just didn’t feel like stuffing my brain with extra burden. but when i didn’t respond, the weight of that unfinished task lingered in the back of my mind, slowly eating away at me. so i learned to push myself—to enter those chats and clear things up on the spot. applied the same thing to the series of workshops we’re organizing at work. showing up gets things done faster. (the video not taken by me. couldn’t find the source)

here i am, to breathe in this month is apparently going to be quite hectic - after signing up for so much, what did i expect? every weekend will be participating in the business case competition conducted at our university (they say Forbes, who is coming to CAU, will be among the judges in the final round. who knows). including 15th-16th of March on 15th of March morning I have a TOEFL test for the final round of UGRAD. which i haven’t prepared for yet. 10 days still ahead. on 16th of March we are organizing a gamified competition at IT Community (remember the Idea Hackathon? need to realize now). and 15th of March is the deadline for a research paper submission for a conference (working with a professor, although feels more like a solo work). 15-16th of March are surely cursed, gotta clone myself I still don’t get my own tendency to push myself to the limit at some points and then shutting down from the world for a few days afterwards, having got a proper burnout. man, even 5 hour sleep sounds like a dream now can’t imagine how carefree my life was back in high school btw, the man on the last photo is Abdujabbor Abduvohidov, the former state adviser to the President on the development of science, education, health care and sports. Also the former Rector of Westminster University in Tashkent, the UWED, as well as the Academy of Public Administration under the President of the Republic of Uzbekistan. Currently the member of the board of trustees of CAU. Also my main boss, as it was his idea to create the scientific journal for the university and Akfa Medline, on which I’m working on currently as the Research Assistant. smart man.

Reflecting back on my experiences, I got most of my knowledge from the "Principles" Courses, and they were ironically the most demanding. When I took Principles of Macroeconomics, which was my first rigorous undergraduate business subject, I genuinely struggled. The amount of reading seemed like it was too much, and the technicalities were things I never faced before. Principles of Microeconomics - the same story. When I was taking my first accounting subjects, Principles of Financial Accounting and Principles of Management Accounting, I'd literally study for days for the exams. Why? Because it all was new, and the amount of information to consume was crazy. From there, I realized that 80% of knowledge is actually gained in Principles Courses. Later intermediate and advanced courses, which are supposed to be harder, will in fact be easier. They will incrementally build upon the foundation you receive in the Principles courses. So, no matter what you study, do not underestimate the basics. They probably will be pillars on which you will build the rest of your knowledge. Build a strong foundation - and the rest of the process will be smooth.

2/2 is it about big cities in general? i’ve noticed people in tashkent - at least those around me currently - are unwilling to make close connections. be that out of fear, discomfort, disinterest or incapability. you make it clear that you’re open for a genuine friendship/relationship, yet not all are ready to meet you halfway. there are exceptions for sure, but i think i’ve got used to a more close-nit nature in namangan. it’s quite true that our overall wellbeing heavily depends on our social relationships. good communication = good day. i usually need just one person whom i can confide in and be very open, honest with to be better with other people. but because almost all of my friends are either in other cities or countries, i guess i felt deprived of that connection. but forward now. had a great sunday that i spent on my own - rarity for me - in a park doing my job. cleaned the whole apartment. baked salmon for dinner as advised by mom. had some great time. good night.

1/2 to tell the truth, past few weeks were overwhelming. a lot was going wrong. it was hard to lead several teams simultaneously, from different projects. even in a team with - seemingly - smart people, you still gotta keep pushing and reminding them, which at times can get frustrating if you feel like you’re the only one who cares. you can hold them accountable but you can’t force them to do what they don’t want to do, especially if their priorities are different. in such cases, don’t hesitate to change the teammates. after all, what are they in for? one bad player can ruin the whole team, as their negative attitudes can be reflected on others. cut such people off if you know they aren’t gonna change. my dad was simple in his response to my situation: “if you’re leading a team, be result-oriented. difficult situations happen, conflicts happen, miscommunication happens. don’t get distraught by that and simply search for ways to make things better. i understand how you feel - when team’s not doing well despite your efforts - but no one told it’s gonna be easy.” there’s also an organizing team i’m leading for a new event at IT Community. the team’s enthusiastic about the event idea, yet inert when it comes to doing something real. being visionary is great, but it’s not enough. we may talk about Why and What for hours - about purpose and what needs to be done - yet oftentimes people get uncomfortable and unwilling when it comes to the How, the details of how to get the job done. but, what ideas and plans matter without execution?

done making a presentation for a competition: market, competitor and financial analysis with really neat-looking visuals. loved it. although it was just for practice before the competition starts. this guy on the photo was the subject of my envy this afternoon, with his cute pink socks and my dark eyebags after 3 sleepless nights.

🔠🔠🔠🔠 Yesterday, had the chance to present my speech at TEDx, with the topic “Why Are Women Missing in History?” In the last moment I found out that I would be the last speaker (unlike the original order) - fair enough, people tend to remember only the first and the last, anyways. On the grand rehearsal day, I forgot the trail of my thoughts in the middle of the speech, so hoped I would not mess up on the D day. But no, everything went smoothly, thank God. As it usually happens, I love the stage with bigger audiences and feel more comfortable with that rather than one with smaller or no audience (like in rehearsals). I knew that I just needed to be on stage to feel excited. Still, certain things I do before any speech - I’m not a professional or anything, so will draw from my experience: 1️⃣Smile, joke and laugh before your presentation. Talk with people around you. This will set you up for a positive mood. 2️⃣If needed, go to a quiet room to relax - look around, feel every sensation, let yourself be present in the moment. 3️⃣Make small jumps if you feel nervous. Move your body to relax the mind. 4️⃣Don’t think about anything before the speech - don’t even think of rehearsing it right before. Just trust in your preparation, licking won’t help if you haven’t eaten. and when you’re on the stage, just enjoy the moment. It’s your time, your chance to speak with other people. Make the best use of it and share what you’ve got. Love y’all💘

some spoilers from today’s rehearsal😆 see yall tmrw at TEDxCAU

A few days ago, a professor asked us what we would do as managers (deans, in this context) if he came to us with the suggestion to take all the students outside the classroom to run in the park while listening to a lecture. “Nah, I wouldn’t allow it.” “That’s strange, professor. Running?” “I’d ask you to reconsider.” My response focused on the logistics—wouldn’t it be difficult for students to both run and listen at the same time? Only one girl in the class said she would first ask for the reasoning behind such an idea. “You see,” the professor said, “the difference between a good manager and a great one could lie in something as simple as asking. Many people jump to their own conclusions without first listening to the possible reasons behind a suggestion.” Two days later, a post appeared on the university’s official channel: the professor had actually gone on a run with senior students a week earlier. It stuck with me. I realized I tend to analyze things first instead of just asking. Maybe it’s a habit, maybe a defense mechanism. But sometimes, the simplest question—why?—can open up perspectives we didn’t even consider. @nodirakhan_101

okay today’s event made me smile through the whole day - teamwork, competition, new acquaintances, and some karaoke afterwards out of 9 finalists for the IT Idea Hackathon, our team came out winners🤍 my presentation was the last one (agreed to be because people usually remember only the first or last impressions) so i had enough time to observe other teams. honestly at some point i started to doubt our own idea - it seemed exceptionally simple among all other solutions provided by others. but you know what? sometimes the simplest idea, if it solves the problem and is well presented, can be better than more complex but vague ones. another point - public speaking skills matter. like, a lot. i can’t stress this enough because i see a lot of smart students out there who can’t communicate their thoughts freely and with confidence, decreasing trust in their word. enthusiasm is contagious, so show people how passionate you are about your work so they too would follow you. and finally, organizational skills. one participant there actually laughed saying “how come you won if you never even wrote a code in your life?” well, simple. you may not be the expert in the field, but if you can gather those experts around you, you’re good to go. have heard this a lot before already? well, for a reason. to make any business/idea working and running, you need mainly 4 resources: 1. capital - money, investment, necessity equipments and assets; 2. human resources - workforce, needed skills and labor; 3. natural resources 4. entrepreneurial resources. without the last all the above won’t work. someone has to be the organizer to make ideas real. oh, apart from the investment and money, i was invited to join the organizers team of the IT Community. that’s cute.

Normalize silence. Train without music. Eat without using your phone. Walk observing the trees and people around you. Maybe then you’ll realize that your childhood happiness was never lost.

just found out that перхоть will be dandruff gotta wake up early tmrw, but here we go dandruff, why didn’t i know such a simple word

it was a more authentic writing for me. had to clear up a few hours to deal with certain people and capture this feeling, despite all the build-up work

"hello. em, i'm sorry but who are you?" "me? longing, attachment, whatever you want to call me. i have come around more than enough so you should know me already." "a. no, i think you mistook again. you should be visiting some other people, not me. i told you already last time that i am cool-minded, and don't waste time missing what's passed. not my personality." "you just like to think so." "no, i am such. even when all my ex-classmates get nostalgic about school days or my acquaintances romanticize the ‘good old times,’ I keep my vision straight ahead. nostalgia is pointless. so, you definitely should be seeing someone else." "everyone faces me from time to time, especially in their low moments. but even when life is going great, i will come to remind you of myself:) i may be irrational, annoying, and even frustrating, but i'm part of your human nature. accept it." "ahah, what is this nonsense all about? look, i let people go easily. people come, people go - simple as that. please don't try to turn me into a sentimental weakling." "are you sure? what about the last time when you kept hoping that your male "friend" would change his ways and stop confusing you? you knew that his unstable behavior of being nice sometimes and cold at others was not healthy. why do you still keep in touch with him?" "em, that's different. he understood me very well at some point of life-" "at some point. you see, not anymore. and that is what i am about - even if something is no longer true, I will remind you that it once was. even if that ‘special bond’ was just a delusion, like with some of your other friends. you thought they understood you, accepted you completely. but did they? some of them never even knew you." "so why should i even spend my time on you if all you do is make me cling to the past? let's end the conversation here. i have no time for this. i need to work on my papers, my projects and presenta-" "exactly. you have a lot to do. it's great to see you so productive. but sometimes your desire to keep on hustling can leave your other aspects neglected. sometimes you cover your pain with hardwork, loneliness with hardwork. instead of addressing the issue directly." ... "how do you expect me to solve those issues by just thinking about the past?" "no, the past is just part of it. I don’t want you to dwell on memories—I want you to confront them. tell me why you feel hurt. let yourself grieve for those who left. sit with your emotions, no matter how uncomfortable. do this, and it will be easier afterward. keep pushing me away all you want, but know this—sooner or later, I will return. and when I do, I won’t just remind you of the past—I will demand that you face it." @Sunny_Youth

"there is no such a thing as a free lunch." a phrase often times attributed to an American economist Milton Friedman, which shows the core principle of "opportunity cost." opportunity cost, simply defined, is the value of the next-best alternative. every time you choose one thing over another, you are paying a certain "cost," something that you had to give up on for its marginal benefit. when you decide to sit down and study for hours straight, your opportunity cost is a computer game or a youtube short that you missed. you could have spent those hours to satisfy your immediate needs, but you knew that bringing a certain amount of discomfort temporarily would pay off better in the future, or in other words, its benefit (MB) is higher than its cost (MC). when you go to gym and stick to a healthy diet, your opportunity cost is not tasting the chocolate cake you could have bought but thought better of it. or vice versa, if you are lazy enough. in economics, there is always one thing being chosen over another for the extra benefit that it brings, following rational thinking. to tie it back to free lunch. the cost of that coffee or cookie being given away might be free, but what you are losing here is your time you spend in the queue. certain products could be free monetarily, but you are nonetheless paying them either with your time or effort, something which in reality could be even more valuable. so, be aware the opportunity cost of fooling around now could be the best life you dream of.