Weird Jokes & Memes

I'M EXCITED to announce I have completed the first item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.

I'm not superstitious, just a little stitious.  https://weird-jokes.com/

I got up early. There was no worm. https://weird-jokes.com/

If you hate yourself, remember you're not alone. A lot of other people hate you too. https://weird-jokes.com/

To avoid being used, be useless.  https://weird-jokes.com/

I hate it when I go out in public and public is there.  https://weird-jokes.com/

Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.  https://weird-jokes.com/

I've given myself carte blanche to use fancy French expressions.  https://weird-jokes.com/

Home is boring, outside is expensive.  https://weird-jokes.com/

I never said all that shit. - Confucius

My doctor told me I need to stop mastubating. I asked, for how long? She said, until I finish your prostate exam. 🤓 https://weird-jokes.com/

Me: I want to donate my body to science. Science: No thank you.

If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean there's one person who enjoys it?  https://weird-jokes.com/

The greatest difference between a man and woman is the meaning of: "What an ass."  https://weird-jokes.com/

What do you call the testicles of a peacock? His peanuts. 🤓 https://weird-jokes.com/

My wife just called me from her job at the Velcro factory. She's stuck at work.

I hate when people say 'bite me' and act all surprised when I actually do.  https://weird-jokes.com/

If you want space, join NASA.  https://weird-jokes.com/

At my interview I was asked, "If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" Me, "The living one." 🤓 https://weird-jokes.com/

Falling in love makes you do stupid things. Once I even got married.