Fluid

*coughs* yea. https://t.me/FluidCovers/111

*coughs* yea.

Hi! I'm finally uploading my covers (those that I'm able to, considering the copyright and all) on SoundCloud! I'd be glad to have you there too fellas. :> (also I'd be soooo thankful if you share my songs as much as you can, cause who knows, maybe your shares made me the next overrated industry plant that raises to fame and popularity for no fair reason at all🤭🤭🤭🤭) (I know I've been so inactive and this channel's getting dusty ok DON'T BLAME ME but again, maybe this new soundcloud thing also helped me get my shit together and go back on track of recording poor-quality covers for y'all lovely babies.💕 Love you all xx https://on.soundcloud.com/bPhCF

my room's window, this channel's official weather reporter since 2018.

Whatever 1402 was or wasn't, it finally made me a Mom.💘

I never knew this until now, but the worst part of having gone through depression is the huge fear of it coming back when you've somehow got healed and now you have someone in your life that you love to death. This gigantic fear of "what if that shit comes back and they leave me because they can't deal with it?" when you feel depression's shadows on your back.

I just miss the time when time was weightless. The only meaning to it was probably "waiting". Waiting for your favorite cousin to visit, waiting for your sister to come home from university bringing one of those chocolate covered donuts that tasted like used oil and happiness, waiting for spring to come. Waiting nervously for the night to end, waiting apprehensively for the anxiety to end, waiting for all the things that made you feel unsafe and unprotected to end. I miss the weightlessness of time. The almost nonexistence of it. Of course an overly anxious parent with obsessive compulsive disorder made sure to make you feel like you were late to everything, like you're losing time even when you were too young to have to achieve and compete and be the best. But still, compared to the extent to which you got to experience the weightiness and weightlessness of time in your life span, that was weightlessness of time and you miss it. That civilized force behind you to seek achievement, power, and superiority at all damned times, that, I fuckin hate that. I fuckin hate how it adds tons of weight to time. That it completely alters the quality of it. Turns it into something upon us, rather than something we're upon of. And here I am at 25, ironically asking the internet itself for help on ways I can cut the strings that are attaching me this tightly to the absurdity of a normal life in the 21st century.

باور کنید من حتی اینجا لاوی داوی بودن رو pda محسوب می‌کنم و ازش اجتناب می‌کنم، ولی گاهی اوقات سخت میشه.

یعنی کامل کامل صادقانه‌ش اینه که من فقط تو فاصله‌ی پنجشنبه صبح (از صبح خوشحال و هیجان‌زده میشم) تا جمعه شب (صبح شنبه انقد از اینکه باید برم ناراحتم که حساب نیست) زنده هستم. بقیه‌ش نمیدونم چیم ولی اون چیزی که هستم قطعا زنده نیست.

درواقع اگه بخوایم صادق باشیم تمام هفته کاری نمی‌کنم جز اینکه منتظر باشم پنجشنبه عصر بشه.

فاصله‌ی شنبه تا پنجشنبه که دوباره بتونم برم پیشش اندازه‌ی سه قرن و نیم می‌گذره.

موجبات شکسته شدن بغض‌های گره‌بسته.🤍 (از اینستاگرام استاد بیژن کامکار)

‌ ‌ ‌‌‌ ‌ سلام ممکنه لطفا بخونید و هر طور که تونستید کمکش کنید زنده بمونه و شیر کنید؟ https://t.me/heyvanatemdad/685?single

«من دشت‌های دور را گشتم اما غم آنجا هم بود. من سرزمین پاک از تاریکی را گشتم اما غم آنجا هم بود. باغ را گشتم، عشق را کاشتم اما غم رویید. من کوچه را گشتم، آسمان را دیدم اما غم آنجا هم بود. می‌گویند از آنجا که نرگس می‌روید خاکش پر شور و گرم است من خاک را یافتم و دور گوش پیچیدم اما غم آنجا هم بود. می‌گویند از پس هر زمستانی سخت و سرد بهاری می‌آید آن بغض را چشیدم و بر بهار رسیدم اما غم آنجا هم بود. من خانه‌ای داشتم دورتر از دریا، آنجا لبخندی بود در آخرین روزم به سویش دویدم دیدم غم آنجا هم بود. من خانه‌های کور را گشتم اما غم آنجا هم بود‌. من در طوفانی سخت نفس‌هایم را داشتم اما غم آنجا هم بود. دویدم دویدم تا نقطه‌ای باشم در روزگار یارانم آنجا تک و بی‌یار بر موجی رقصیدم دیدم غم آنجا هم بود.»