nessnote
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-147 дней
+1430 день
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492
i wish my mother didn't make me spend every day wondering what it would have been like if i had never been born. i wish i knew what it felt like to wake up without wanting to end my shit every single day. i wish my childhood had looked a little more normal. i wish my mother loved me because she wanted to, not because she was obligated to. i wish she liked me, not just the idea of being responsible for me. i wish i wasn't always the one left behind while everyone else seemed to come first. i wish i had grown up believing i was worth choosing. i wish i didn't have so many wishes to begin with.
492
perhaps i'll spend the rest of my life trying to become someone kinder. if not because i owe it to myself, then because i owe it to her.
492
my mother has always believed that i'm too selfish to truly love anyone. lately, i've started wondering if she's onto something.
492
been watching 4 shows and movies along with reading 3 books and i want to start 6 other things
