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| Date | Subscriber Growth | Mentions | Channels | |
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Channel Posts
| 2 | They don't like me?
Whatever
I don't care anymore | 54 |
| 3 | And I tell myself, | 54 |
| 4 | I wipe my face | 55 |
| 5 | So I get up | 57 |
| 6 | But eventually, I run out of tears | 57 |
| 7 | Sometimes I just wish I could let everything out
All of it.
Every thought
Every feeling
Every fucking thing I've been holding in. | 57 |
| 8 | But every time I finally manage to smile, every time I get excited about something, I wake up and realized my pillow is soaked from crying
And then I just wanna cry even more | 54 |
| 9 | I wish there was someone who could just look at me one day and say,
Hey kid. Why are you so damn hard on yourself?
I'm here
I've been here this whole time
You don't have to pretend with me
You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to be tired
Just trust me.
Lonely? It's Okey
People don't like you? Whatever
You don't have anyone waiting for you? Then I'll be here
I've got you. | 53 |
| 10 | Is there really nowhere in this world where I belong? | 46 |
| 11 | I just want all of this to quiet down for once
I want one moment where my brain isn't fighting me
Where I don't feel like I have to keep pretending everything is okay | 47 |
| 12 | But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
It's still fucking hurt. And it still feels unfair. | 164 |
| 13 | When you've seen someone love everyone except you, you stop expecting people to choose you.
When you've been left alone in the dark enough times, you stop expecting anyone to come looking for you. | 161 |
| 14 | Sometimes being alone isn't even that bad
After watching people leave over and over again, you kinda stop being surprised when someone new doesn't stay. | 171 |
| 15 | Then why does it feel like it is for everyone else?
How is that fair?
I want those things too
Of course I get jealous. I'm not gonna lie. But... | 147 |
| 16 | The world keeps reminding me that it isn't some magical place built to make all my dreams come true. | 153 |
| 17 | Sometimes I blame them. Sometimes I blame God.
I think, Maybe I just wasn't chosen
You know how it feels like some people are just... chosen?
Like somehow everything works out for them
Like the word keep noticing them and giving them chances.
But I wasn't chosen to be seen. | 155 |
| 18 | And then I think about it some more, and somehow I just end up with even more questions and no answers
My brain gets more and more overwhelmed | 148 |
| 19 | I keep waiting
I keep telling myself I just need to try harder
But I'm tired. I really am
Sometimes I think ,
I did everything I could
I wasn't even that bad
I didn't deserve to end up this alone | 133 |
| 20 | But everytime I try to accept this I just can't
I tell myself,
God, just get over it
Stop crying over stupid shit
Nobody's waiting for you
Nobody even cares that much
It's just you. You've only got yourself
But my heart doesn't understand that
My heart still hurts
My eyes still shake
They get teary and red and give me away every single time | 133 |
