The Realm of Wisdom | Self-Help Maven

One sad story that no one told you before: The incident that affected Nikola Tesla his entire life. Dane Tesla was the elder brother of Nikola Tesla. Dane was endowed with extraordinary powers of eidetic imagery, just like Nikola. He used to sit with the fishermen on the shore and bring back stories of great adventure. He taught Nikola about making things. They had an Arcadian childhood, annoying the servants, playing with the local birds and animals on the farm. The boys would go to swim or catch frogs in the spring or summer and to build dams in the autumn and early winter in vain attempts to stop the seasonal flooding of the land. The Tesla brothers liked to build things for fun. One was a waterwheel that used new ideas. These ideas helped Tesla make better steam turbines later. They also built a toy gun from cornstalks. It had ideas that Tesla used for particle beam weapons. They made fishing hooks to catch frogs and snares for birds. They tried to glide off the barn roof with a parasol. But one day, a disaster struck the Tesla household. Dane was riding the family's Arabian horse one day. Arabian horses are very smart. Wolves had scared the horse. It threw Milutin (Nikola's father) off and ran home, leaving him unconscious. But the horse was smart enough to bring back people to save Milutin. Even though the family loved the horse, it threw Dane off too. Dane died from the injuries. The family never really recovered. Tesla said "Dane’s premature death left my parents disconsolate…The recollection of his attainments made every effort of mine seem dull in comparison. Anything I did that was creditable merely caused my parents to feel their loss more keenly. So I grew up with little confidence in myself" Upset by his brother’s death and the rejection by his parents, particularly his mother, the seven-year-old ran away from home and hid in an “inaccessible” mountain chapel which “was visited only once a year.” By the time he had reached the place, it was nightfall. There was little the boy could do but force his way in and spend the night “entombed…It was an awful experience.” Shortly after this tragedy, The family moved the few miles. Niko was of school age, so he began his formal education at this time. However, he had great difficulty adjusting to city life, for he missed the farm and the idyllic existence he had once enjoyed. He said “This change of residence was like a calamity to me. It almost broke my heart to part from our pigeons, chickens and sheep, and our magnificent flock of geese which used to rise to the clouds in the morning and return from the feeding grounds at sundown in battle formation, so perfect that it would have put a squadron of the best aviators of the present day to shame.” The boy would wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of Dane’s death, which he claimed to have witnessed, and of the funeral, which probably involved an open casket. “A vivid picture of the scene would thrust itself before my eyes and persist despite all efforts to banish it…To free myself of these tormenting appearances, I tried to concentrate my mind on something else…by continuously conjuring up new images…by thoughts of pain in life and death and religious fear…swayed by superstitious beliefs and lived in constant dread of the spirit of evil, of ghosts and ogres and other unholy monsters of the dark.” It was at this time that Tesla began to have what today are known as out-of-body experiences, although he never ascribed anything mystical or paranormal to them. “Blurred at first…I would see…on my journeys…new places, cities and countries—live there, meet people and make friendships…and, however unbelievable, it is a fact that they were just as dear to me as those in actual life and not a bit less intense in their manifestations.”

7. LEARN HOW TO FEEL BETTER BY PROCESSING COMPLEX EMOTIONS You are not supposed to feel happy all of the time. Trying to feel happy all of the time is not the solution; it’s the problem. 8. FORGET WHAT HAPPENED AND FOCUS ON HOW YOU WILL MAKE IT RIGHT The only time you’re going to really hold onto the past is when you haven’t fully learned from the past. When you have, you can apply those lessons to the present moment and create what you wanted to experience then. 9. TALK IT OUT, BECAUSE THINGS ARE OFTEN MORE COMPLICATED IN YOUR HEAD If you feel really tangled up in your thoughts, feelings, and fears, talk to someone. Perhaps a mental-health professional or a trusted friend. If nobody is around, talk to yourself. Talk out your ideas as though you were speaking to someone else in front of you. 10. TAKE YOUR TIME, BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT RIGHT NOW The most effective and healthy way to change your life is slowly. If you need instant gratification, make the goal the tiny step you take each day. Over time, momentum will build, and you’ll realize that you’re miles from where you started. 11. TAKE TRIGGERS AS SIGNALS, BECAUSE YOUR WOUNDS NEED YOUR ATTENTION You cannot ignore your problems. You cannot disregard your wounds. These are issues that you will need to unpack, process, learn from, and adapt your behavior accordingly. This won’t only make you mentally stronger; it will also give you a better quality of life overall. 12. HONOR YOUR DISCOMFORT, BECAUSE IT’S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING The greatest gift that life will hand you is discomfort. Discomfort is not trying to punish you! It is just trying to show you where you are capable of more, deserving of better, able to change, or meant for greater than you have right now. In almost every case, it is simply informing you that there is more out there for you, and it is pushing you to go pursue it. If you can begin to see your life as a feedback mechanism that is reflecting who you are with the ultimate goal to help you live better and more fully, all of a sudden you realize that it was never the world standing in your way, but your own mind.

BECOME MENTALLY STRONG: No matter who you are or what your purpose is in life, mental strength is going to be a key component in ensuring that you actualize all of the potential latent within you. Being mentally strong is a process, and it is a practice. This is where you can begin: 1. GET A PLAN, BECAUSE PLANS FIX PROBLEMS Mentally strong people are planners. Think about something you aren’t scared of. Do you know why you aren’t scared of it? Because you have a plan for what you’d do if it were to happen. So you’re able to let go and be present. If you don’t have a plan, you’re going to keep having a problem. 2. HUMBLE YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU It seems like everyone is thinking about you, judging you, evaluating you, and determining your status in life. They aren’t. 3. ASK FOR HELP, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING We live in a specialized society. You are not supposed to know everything. You’re not supposed to be good at everything. This is why you have people whom you can hire or learn from. Cut yourself some slack, and focus on what you are proficient in. Outsource everything else. 4. KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW, AND STOP FALSE DICHOTOMOUS THINKING The main reason that people sustain anxiety is due to long-term thinking in either/ors, otherwise known as false dichotomies. If I lose my job, I am a failure. False. If this relationship ends, I’ll never find love again. False. If this scary thing happens, I won’t be able to go on. False 5. STOP TRYING TO BE PSYCHIC, BECAUSE THIS IS A COGNITIVE DISTORTION Given that our most fundamental human fear is of the unknown, it makes sense that we go through mental gymnastics to try to predict certain outcomes in our lives. Stop trying to predict what you can’t know, and start putting your energy toward building what you can. You and your life will be better for it. 6. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OUTCOMES—YES, ALL OF THEM If you actually put your energy toward learning to be productive, taking care of your health and wellness, improving your relationships and self-awareness, you’d have a radically different life experience. Every single one of those things is within your ability to change or at least influence greatly. There are some things in life that are outside of your control. If you focus on them, you will miss something really important: the majority of your life is the direct result of your actions, behaviors, and choices.

Our Childhood before Smartphones and TikTok.