Our Side of the Story

Q: How r u debbie? How's the break treating you? I'd be happy if you share how you deal with loneliness alu aa those moments when you feel lonely sometimes out of the blue and at times with some caustive agents? How do u sink it all in? A: ይመስገን I’m doing very well, thank you! One thing about feelings as such is that it’s very normal and it’s okay to feel it from time to time because you know we’re humans and our humanness gets to us. But, don’t make it your state. Make your own trusted circle of people who make you feel loved and appreciated. As well as being comfortable with your own company too, spend time with yourself you’ll learn a lot😊

Q: I'm not going to lie by saying that I'm an old fan or an active subscriber to catch up on your work frequently. But I do admit to discovering the channel right around the pandemic and stopping by multiple times to read what caught my eye when the notification pops by. Some I liked, some I learned, few I disagreed but most got me saying, "Man! I wish I could sort and scatter my thoughts like her" You are doing a great job by writing things you explore and I would like to express my appreciation using this opportunity. From a stranger who doesn't know you well. A: Have I mentioned I’m repulsive to compliments by default? But thank you for your kind words, sending bear hugs xx

Q: Hello Debbie...what’s ur take on sex before marriage? A: Lol a very big and ቆንጅዬ NO! to that. If you love being delusional and would choose doing it regardless of the mental and physical damage it causes go ahead.

Q: Hi...since you offered so here is a question Is it okay to feel NOTHING about things that most people react differently? A: በሚገባ! Everyone has different interests and patterns of reacting to things. You’re not expected to fit into the likes and dislikes of others :)

እዚህ ሰፈር እንዴት ከረማችሁ? Been a while since I interacted with you guys. Throw your questions away :) @DebbieTesfaye

Growing up my mom preached to us almost everytime about the need of ሰው....me and my siblings werenot that much fond of the idea. We liked our personal space and having only few people around. It was always a struggle feeling comfortable when እንግዳ came to visit and more painful when they stayed for a long time. Even in family gatherings our mom introduced everyone to us saying"አጎትሽ ነው" or "አክስትሽ ናት" even though we know we werenot tiny bit related in blood to most of them. Yet she said "ሰው ማወቅ ጥሩ ነው መቼ እንደሚጠቅማችሁ አታውቁም" People loved my mom because she was always present for them. ሰርግ.መልስ. ልጅ ሲወለድ. ሰው ሲሞት. She is always with people. And I saw that pay her forward in good in my tiny life.My dad was mostly the silent and restricted one and we took most of our genes from him yet he too also saw the importance of this. ግቢ የገባሁ ጊዜ my mom stayed almost a week and in that span of time she introduced me to everyone. Most of the ግቢ ዘበኞች knew me they carried my bag ከbreak ስመለስ.....kept an eye on me...even prayed for me with their wives. Even my friends whom I love I was introduced to through her. Having spent the past couple of months away from people and isolated in a a certain way showed me that in the few moments I spend with people in the middle I feel something in me being liberated. I feel alive in a way. They become a good escape from my brain that always kept humming. Despite loving personal space, healthy amount of relationship with people is essential.My mom was right in this. የሰው ልጅ is indeed መድሀኒት but also should be taken in the right dosage.

I fear familiarity. I fear when it becomes too much that it creates disrespect between people. I think that maybe that is the reason i have kept most of my relationships distant enough my entire life.

Weeks ago all I wanted was to be away from campus and come home to breathe, rest and not have the responsibility of dealing with so many people and things at once. One assignment follows the other, one PowerPoint onto the next, a friend and so many more relationships, you and your issues. You get the drill. Now being here, I don’t know what to do with all of this deadline and stress free time on my hands. Identification? Yes, most definitely. Somehow we get used to loops of unhealthy things and people, that at some point all the wrong things seem to be the right ones. It takes a lot of time for your mind and body to adjust to how things should be. Baby steps, eh? Baby steps.

ለማሳመን ወስነህ ውይይት አትጀምር ሀሳብ ውስጥ እምነት የለም ሀሳብ ብቻ ነው ያለው። የሀሳብህ ትልቅነት የሚለካው ደግሞ በአቻው ተቃራኒ ሀሳብ የሚወጣው ከሆነ ነው። እንዲያ ካልሆነ ሀሳብህ ጥግ አይኖረውም ስፍሩን አታቀውም ለውጥ ፈጣሪም አይሆንም። አንተም ቀስ በቀስ ትወዛወዛለህ ቦታህን ትምታታለህ ስለዚህ ጥግ ያለው ሀሳብ ውለድ። እንዲያ ሲሆን ተቃራኒህም ካንተ እኩል ወይም የላቀ አቅም አስረጂ እንደሚኖረውም ለማመን ትቀርባለህ። ልብ በል: ማንም ሀሳብ ሲያወራህ ለማድመጥ ብለህ ስማው። ወረፋ ጠባቂ አትሁን።እስኪጨርስ ብቻ ዝም አትበል እስኪገባህ እንጂ።

God loves you እሺ? :)

ቀን የጣለው ሌባ ላይ የሚደረግ ርብርብ ይደብረኛል። እንዲህ ግርር ብሎ መደብደብና ማዋረድ ሼም ነው። በተለይ ከሌብነት ኃጥያትነት ተነስተህ ይህንን ስታደርግ፥ የባሰ ሼም ነው። ሰዎች፥ የተያዘ ወንጀለኛ ከበው፥ ጻድቅ ረጋጭ ሲሆኑ ያበሽቃል። “ሰርተህ አትበላም? የሰው ገንዘብ ምን ያደርግልሃል?” ይላሉ። ዝምብለሽ ፖሊስ ጣቢያ ውሰጂው። ወሬኛ።

Those of you taking the exit exam tomorrow and the coming days, best of lucks! አይዞን :)

i maybe use this medium too much as a stage instead of a journal. imagine if we actually used social media without the social, right? otherwise you have to present yourself? as something acceptable to the social? so you have to prune? and prod? some part of you. because you are in a box, you have to fit.

We’re back in አራዳ ሆይ :)

I love being in Addis, not only because it has a comfortable temperature (for me) but because the moment I land my body knows, I feel calm, at ease and like everything is figured out. Possibly because it’s my home and everyone I care so deeply for is here but weirdly enough I feel safe, protected and guaranteed that I won’t experience the doubts and hurts I faced back in campus. Whatever I may go through, a home is better than anywhere else.

The hardest part about being alive is the unnumbered choices you have to make and the sweats that come with sticking with those choices.

29|10 አውቶብስ ተራ... ውሸት ምን ያደርጋል ፥ በሰው ልጆች በዝቶ መባዛት የምበሳጭበት ቦታ እዚህ ነው። እዚህ እያንዳንዱ የሰው ልጅ ጠላቴ ነው። ይህ ሁሉ መሽሎክሎክ... ይህ ሁሉ ድምፅ... ይህ ሁሉ የወያላ ጩኸት... አስኮ በወንበር አስኮ በወንበር... ይህ ሁሉ አልጋ ይፈልጋሉ? አልጋ ይፈልጋሉ?... ይህ ሁሉ እኔ ነኝ ደራሽ ለወገኔ... ይህ ሁሉ ዘራ የበረሮ ማጥፊያ... ይህ ሁሉ ኤርፎን በሃምሳ በሃምሳ... ይህ ሁሉ ሽታ... በላስቲክ የተሸፈነ የቅቅል በቆሎ ሽታ... የሚጠጣ የሰው ትንፋሽ... ትግል! እያንዳንዱ የሰው ልጅ! ያበሳጨኛል። @amadonart

“to love is to not project”

I just noticed, boundaries are not that easy. Finding that balance of not being completely numb to the emotions of others and being mature enough to protect yourself at the expense of whatever. Saying no without feeling guilty about it and acting in ways that later don’t end up having you explain unnecessary things. I think it all comes down to believing that not everything is that deep. You do what you gots to do and move on, a not so easy task as well. Before all of this, the question of who you are without the people/things you identified yourself with needs an answer. What is your personal boundary? Who are you as a person? What/who do you need to be protected from? Do you really enjoy your being right now? Or are you just going around people and places, escaping, so that you’d think you don’t need boundaries for anyone/anything? Once you have all of this figured out, a loss is promised so you’ll most definitely go through denial. Trust. But you won’t gain the freedom of standing up for yourself and living in a healthy, panic absent friendships and relationships if you choose to stay in your comfort zones. Boundaries are not easy, but they’re the simplest steps to having a less tormenting reality.

sometimes illogicality... በህይወታችን በጣም ቦታ ምንሰጣቸው ነገሮች ይኖሩን እንዲው(illogical) ሆነን ስለተቀበልናቸው አይመስላቹም፤በእያንዳንዱ ነገር ምክንያታዊ (logical)ልንሆን ብንሞክር ያለንን እምነት፣ወዳጅነት፣እንዲሁም ህይወታችንን ዋጋቢስ እናደርጋታለን ። ለዛም ነው ብዙ ጊዜ እንዲሁ በዘፈቀደ (arbitrary) መሆንን የመረጥነው ይቺ ዓለም አንድ አንዴ ከስሌት ውጪ ሆነን ስንኖራት ነው ዋጋ ያላት ሆና ምትታየን፤ታዲያ በእያንዳንዱ ነገር logical ብንሆን ደስታችንን በእርግጠኝነት እናጠፋዋለን:: አስቡት በጓደኝነታችን መሀል ብዙ ክብር ,ግዜ,ቁስ, እናም ቅድሚያ የሰጠነው ሰው የኛን ያህል መልሶ ባይሰጠን እና benefit-cost calculate እያደረግን ብንኖር ምን ሊሆን እንዳለ እና ብዙ ጓደኝነትን ልናጣ እንደምንችል :: አንድ አንዴም ዓለምን logical ሆናቹ ስትመለከቱ ዳኛ የሌለበት የወንበዴዎች መንደር ወይም በበረሃ ደክሞት ምልክት ሳያስቀምጥ አንቀላፍቶ ሲባንን አቅጣጫ እንደጠፋበት ምስኪን ስደተኛ አይነት ስሜት ይሰማቸዋል። አስተውሉ ምዛናዊ ባልሆነች ምድር እየኖርን ነገሮች ምዛናዊ እንደሆኑ መጠበቅ በራሱ ሰተት እንደሆነ እንተው ሁሌ logical መሆንን.. እንዲሁ እንሳቅ እንዱሁ እንወደድ እንዱሁ እናፍቅር እንዲሁ እናምልክ Logical ልክ አይደለም ማለት ስህተት ነው ማለት አይደለም ምክንያቱም ዛሬ ልክ መስሎ ያልታዩን ነገሮች በ ጊዜ ሂደት ይፈቱልናል። ✍️ @fekaduberhanu