Funny Quotes and Jokes πππ
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Channel Posts
| 2 | *An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward..
When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means its going to launch you into something great.
So just focus, and keep aiming...*
Good Morning Everyone | 270 |
| 3 | Dear Comrades,
TEN EASY WAYS NOT TO SPEND MORE THAN 5K ON A DATE
1. Take her to Chicken Republic: Buy two plates of refuel for #950 per plate. Don't buy water from them because their water is 200 or 250 per bottle. Buy the water or drink from outside. Make sure she does not enter bolt, tell her you don't like the bolt feelings, enter normal taxis.
2. INVITE HER FOR LUNCH AT YOUR HOUSE:
Don't go and spend money outside, instead use 4 or 5k to cook and invite her to come and eat food you prepared yourself. Buy pure water and fill it in your fridge. When you finish eating, you will still have leftovers which you can eat later.
3. GO FOR LUNCH AT HER HOUSE:
Send her like 3k or 4k to prepare some quick for you guys to eat. Even if she prepares noodles, my brother eat am like that.
4. DON'T ALLOW HER TO PICK A VENUE FOR A DATE:
Always pick the venue for a date. Always tell her how much you love eating in a buka. Tell her the joy it gives you. Encourage her to join you and eat in a buka, then go to Ndi restaurant at UST main gate and eat. A lot of them eat there. I am giving you practical experience.
5. SUGGEST A STROLL WITH HER AS A DATE:
Take her on a stroll and make sure she walks a long distance with you. Then buy her #500 suya with plenty of onions. When eating the suya with her rush the suya, and encourage her to eat the onions.
6. TAKE HER FOR KARAOKE:
When you get there order a bottle of drink for both of you. Then try and get the karaoke mic, and make her sing as many songs as possible. When she is done, tell her you are feeling tired you need some rest. You will discover you didn't spend up to 3k for that date.
7. DON'T EVER ACCEPT TO GO ON A MOVIE DATE WITH HER:
If you go on a movie date you will spend a minimum of 5k, so don't. Instead, invite her for Netflix and chill. If you can't afford Netflix go and borrow a laptop and get a flash that has movies on it. Both of you can watch that in your house with two bottles of coke and groundnut. | 437 |
| 4 | Are u tired of this country? Do u
want to travel abroad? Just put ur
phone on flight mode, stand on it
and shout voom!.
*Safe journey
π₯΄π | 414 |
| 5 | *When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun.
And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.*
ππ | 409 |
| 6 | *An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."*
π€£π€£π€£πππ | 406 |
| 7 | ππΌ
*If I have offended you with my posts*
I apologize π«π«
Honestly π€¨
I didn't know you can read
ππ | 398 |
| 8 | *An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward..
When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means its going to launch you into something great.
So just focus, and keep aiming...*
Good Morning Everyone ππΌ Wishing you All A Great New Week | 415 |
| 9 | π±why are all the heads of the fishes inside sardine missing? Dem tell them say we dey forbid fish head?πππππ | 434 |
| 10 | Driver: Lagos to Onitsha is 40k
Me: How much come be waybill??
Driver : 5k
Me :Oya waybill meπ€£π€£π€£ | 443 |
| 11 |  No text... | 608 |
| 12 |  No text... | 494 |
| 13 | Fat girls should stop wearing yellow rain coat ohπ€·π€·π€·π€·
That is how I thought 1 was keke napep
π₯΄π₯΄π₯΄ | 655 |
| 14 | Sometimes I wonder why African parents do remove eyeglass to hear what exactly you are telling them.
π€π€ | 651 |
| 15 | The more you meet people, the more you will understand why Noah took animals instead of human in the Ark.
π€π―π€ | 652 |
| 16 | If not that my parent are still owing me all the money visitors use to give me.
What is IPhone 13 and Benz that I canβt buy.
π₯΄π₯΄π₯΄ | 635 |
| 17 |  No text... | 626 |
| 18 | BREAKING NEWS!!
MAN SEES HIS DEAD WIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN IN JOS!!!
A man from Bauchi State by name Mu'azu Danfulani caused a lot of traffic today at Bauchi road.
Mr . Mu'azu said he came into Jos yesterday and decided to move around to see how Jos looks like. He was walking around Bauchi road when he stumbled on his wife that died 3yrs ago in his home town.
According to him, " my wife died of asthma 3yrs ago and had since been buried but am surprised to see her with a man conveying her on a motorcycle, at first I hesitated, then I summoned courage and called her by name, she turned, looked at me and disappeared".
The man who carried her on his bike fainted twice. After he was resuscitated, he narrated his story saying he had lived with her for more than a year, he also said they met in the market and he later proposed to her and she accepted.
These are the kind of stories I write when I am hungry. This write up is out of the hunger.
ABEG NA WHO GET GARRI?
ππ | 585 |
| 19 | *I don't understand why vomiting is the only symptom of pregnancy in African movies*
π₯΄π₯΄π₯΄ | 531 |
| 20 | *So one day I will be begging someone to collect the ring that I bought with my hard earned money*
πππ | 521 |
