Natalia Tokar | Native-Like Fluency

Listen to this fist ⬆️ Below, I’ll share a brief version and a longer version of what students shared with me about “hiding their true self” when speaking in English.

I’m doing a very special mini retreat this December. Dec 26-28, 2025. Moscow Women only. If this is for you, I’d regret not offering it. Send a DM or leave a comment to apply. More details in Russian here.

We had an interesting conversation with the community members yesterday during the Sunday Practice. What’s the point of practicing more if you’re already pretty advanced? How do you motivate yourself to continue improving your English if you already perform at the required level at work, and you know that even if you do get better, no one at work will notice or compliment you? I’ll upload the edited recoding shortly. If you’re a community member, take a moment to listen to it and share your thoughts. Is anyone HERE struggling with the same question? Let me know in the comments, and let’s do a live right here, on telegram to talk about it. Meanwhile, I wanna share this: many will say “your English is already good enough. Your practice is too much. You’re too much for wanting mastery. You’re wasting your time trying to get to a fantasy land of “perfect English” when you already have everything to make good money and perform in this language” These people are correct, but only in their world. Those who say these words, don’t understand that your efforts have little to do with English itself. What we practice has everything to do with self-mastery and expanding your identity. Consider this: “You don’t want too much. You’ve probably surrounded yourself with people who accept too little”

Hey daring and ambitious souls! Remember, I have a free course - 9 essential skills to achieve native-like fluency? I recorded it in 2021. My own English, accent, and even my whole identity has shifted since then. In 2025, I updated the METHOD so that you can learn the fundamentals: 9 essential skills and 13 core principles that will be embedded in the exercises. The exercises are now going to be organized differently; you’ll know exactly what skill you’re practicing, what level of the skill, and how to practice it (which of the core principles apply). The MAIN goal is CLARITY and AUTHENTICITY in English (your second language). It’s not a single workshop or lesson. It’s a structured method, which has taken me 18+ years to develop and solidify. It’s an organic product of my teaching career and my own experience as a learner who’s passionate about mastering non-trivial skills. I’ve already presented the new foundations of the method to the community members. This Sunday, Dec 7, 2025, during the Sunday Practice Session, I’ll be presenting the new structure: 9 skills and 13 principles, and we will practice together, as always. You’re invited to practice with us! It’s all very new. If you want to join, please be ready to have your mic on and speak. If you just want to listen and are not ready to participate, don’t apply. We’ll see you next time ☺️ I need an active audience, human curiosity, feedback and your readiness to practice LIVE. Dec 7, 2025 10 am CET How to join: - FREE for existing community members: join the zoom link on the community calendar. - $55 for anyone else. I accept USD and RUB. NB!: if you pay $55 before Dec 7, this amount will be credited to any future product of your choice: practice rooms in the community, a new cohort, or 1:1 work with me. So, you’re basically securing your seat and priority support. If you want to join, please leave a comment “YES” and choose your currency. Example: YES, USD or YES, RUB I’ll send payment links only to those who’re serious about joining. See you on Sunday!

This makes sense if you know the value of focus. Also, this is a great example of a mental image.

What if the old you needs to die first to be transformed? That means never going back to certain things, behaviors, and thoughts.

“You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. The evidence says you’re unstoppable.” — THERAPIST-APPROVED MANTRA

Sometimes we get to see ourselves and freak out. We freeze. The awareness hurts too much. And we pretend we’re dead, numb, incapable, invisible, and unable to change what we saw. So we hide. Sometimes, we hide in far away places so that even our own conscious energy can’t reach those ugly parts that we saw. Seeing your destructive patterns or parts of yourself can be VERY scary. Seeing your mistakes can be devastating. Especially when you keep repeating the mistakes that harm your future self and stall your progress. But hiding is not a solution. Many non-native speakers who get to advanced levels of fluency hide behind the words they have learned. They hide their true voice, their authentic self, and their stories behind a reduced version of themselves that they created in English. They see their inability to express more than “small” or “reduced” versions of who they are and …they freeze. They go numb. Some pretend it’s okay. Some say it’s enough. I’m taking to those who feel and know it’s not enough for them, and there’s more. Because there is more. You CAN have soulful conversations in English, and it’s a life changing skill. This level requires courage to see the numb and scared parts of yourself and not look away. Authenticity is scary. Very vulnerable. Feels very unsafe in the beginning. Feels like you have no control….until you realize that you have full control around how you want to show up in English and who you want to become. Native-Like Fluency is not just a skill that can be learned in a course. It can’t be taught with a textbook. It’s a decision. Once you make a decision, you practice from a place of dedication, not desperation. And when you practice, you build new skills that make you competent. Competence makes you confident. Everyone who has ever wanted to work with me told me they want “confidence” in English. However, they had been shopping for confidence in the wrong places. You can’t get milk from a hardware store. And you can’t learn mastery in a textbook or a recorded online course.

AUDACITY: how meaning matches form. An example of what “mental images” are when learning a foreign langauge

From a conversatiion with a student. You're closer than you think. You probably know more English than you use. It's time to focus not on your English, but on sounding like yourself -- in English. This is what I do. I help my students express their real, authentic self in English and... not collapse, especially when they're unprepared. the secret is...you don't need to be prepared to be YOU. you need to focus your practice to express your truth. if you know it's TIME for focused 1:1 work, DM to book a discovery call.

About self-assessment in learning

To all the women reading this channel. ❤️❤️❤️