*PLEASE KEEP MY NAME ANONYMOUS*
I have a deep concern that I really want to share and get your honest opinion on.
I am 31 years old, and I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about seven years.
We started dating when I was struggling with my life and education. About two years into the relationship, she encouraged me to go back to school. She supported me by paying for my JAMB registration, PostUTME, and other expenses, which eventually helped me gain admission to study Nursing.
At that time, the total cost of my Nursing registration was almost ₦1.2 million, while I had barely ₦200,000.
- With her support, she helped raise about ₦1.5 million for me to get started.
- Throughout my years in school, she remained consistent and continued supporting me financially and emotionally. Because of everything she was doing for me, and because I genuinely didn't want to disappoint her, I felt I needed to show her that I loved and appreciated her.
- While I was in 300 level, I visited her parents, and I also involved my family so that we could make our relationship formal, with the intention of getting married after I completed my five years of Nursing training MARRIED BEFORE internship.
- I have now completed my Nursing journey. I wrote my RN exam last year NOVEMBER, I completed my Public Health exam in May and THIS September, I completed my RM.
*However, this is where my major concern begins.*
- I don't think I love her anymore.
- There is another girl I have developed feelings for. She cares about me, checks up on me regularly, calls me, and makes me feel emotionally connected to her. This has made me question my current relationship even more.
- I feel completely stuck between my past and what I currently feel.
- On one hand, I cannot forget everything my girlfriend has done for me, NO assault, no abuse, she's very caring and loving soul. She stood by me when I had almost nothing. She supported my education and helped me become who I am today. I genuinely appreciate and respect her sacrifices.
On the other hand, I don't want to continue a relationship simply because I feel indebted to her. I don't want to marry someone when, deep down, I know that my feelings are no longer the same.
- I feel guilty because of everything she has done for me, but at the same time, I don't think I can continue pretending that I still have the same feelings.
- I am seriously considering ending the relationship, but I am confused about whether I am being selfish or ungrateful.
*What would you honestly advise me to do in this situation?*
- Should I stay because of everything she has sacrificed for me, or should I be honest about how I feel and end the relationship before marriage and continue with the new girl i have feelings on?