Our Side of the Story

43’ታችሁ irrelevant እንደሆናችሁ ልገልፅ እየወደድሁ we’re having IG soon enough.

This beautiful cover reminded me of that season. YouTube ላይ ሄዳችሁ ስሙ ደግሞ :)

Not long ago, right after graduation I felt so weak, almost everything became out of my control. Just standing there as my resilience was falling apart and there was absolutely nothing I could do. How I couldn’t see life and hope had me thinking I was blind. Do you have certain prayers you can’t forget? It was a Saturday evening, I remember my heart and body shaking so bad I believed life finally got to me after years and I’m just going to be a failed storyline. I kneeled down and all I said was “father fight for me, because I don’t think I’m going to come up the other side this time.” I love how God puts you in shambles only for him to pick up the pieces up with so much grace and beauty like never before. I waited in silence, I left whatever that took life out of me on that floor and got up reassured he’s got it, as he always does. But did he show up? Did he fight for me? Beautifully! That now I have more reasons to be a witness of how real he is.

A 3 am sob woke me up today, it was April and February all over again. Everything is temporary besides grief, that’s the one thing that will make a constant appearance in your days and dreams. You cry, you question life again and move forward until it bumps into you on your way to work.

Warped Timelines “ላይችል አይሰጥም” የሚለው ተረት እውነት ቢሆን ኖሮ አንችን ለኔ አይነቱ አይሰጥም ነበር፣ ምክንያቱም፣ አልቻልኩም። Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why. Why I love this emptiness, More than I ever loved you. Maybe it was that distinct piano note I used to hear At our favorite coffee shop. Damn! Six years already? How time flies! I wish I could break its wings with the endless violent thoughts that intrude my good days. Don’t even ask about my bad ones. And maybe it was the tight grip your soft hands had on the rough, callous palms I yielded after carrying the weight of my sins And after writing whenever I was damned to catch a break. You told me that you wished your shoulders Were never dislocated Just so you could be able to Have my arms wrapped around you. Was that true? Or was it yet another excuse In your invisible handbook? To yearn is to bleed in an open sea Whose biggest shark is Lucifer himself. I never missed you since the day you left my life, But I always think of all that there was, And all of what could have been. But revisionism is a tool that’s Used to make he with good memories Look a mighty old fool. “I’m better off without you. I’m better off without you.” I recite in front of the mirror As if I don’t already know it’s true. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why I want to try and proof that Ice indeed melts in the sun, And I indeed smile in your absence. But still, I always have something that drags me back To wanting to prove the already proven. Foolishness! Is that even my hobby? Maybe it is. What I do know? What I do know, Is I’m knee deep into the emptiness, To the point where I’ll be damned If I let you, or anybody in. But within this confine and the crevices amidst, I still think of all that there was and all of what could have been And compare it to all that there is. Sometimes Timelines make the unlikeliest of allies Cross each other’s paths, And I can’t help but wonder why, Of all people, You were the ally I was begging the timelines to hand me. Foolishness Is my enemy, yet I still cohabit with it. But reality is, that I’m better off without you, And I’ll be damned if I let you in, Even though you’ve never left my mind.

Alright, currently witnessing two kids in class hold a conversation (boy & girl). No fear of eye contact, holding hands or anything. Just raw love and joy running all over their faces. Yep I’m dreading the day I decided to grow up.

ሃሎ! Anyone with siblings or close family members with special needs? How’s your experience like? How do you understand their patterns or the working of their brains? Do let me know :)

"የአንተ ግምት ከእኔ ካለፈ ብዙ ልታጠግብ ከእጄ ወስደህ እንቢ አልልም ስስት ለቆኛል ከእኔ ቢወጣ እልፍን ይሸኛል" "ይለፍ ካንቺ ካልክ ሀገር ሊያበላ ይውጣልኝ ከእጄ ይሁን ለሌላ"

My comment section ላይ የሆነ ጊዜ...a few teens were genuinely sad they didn’t experience love እና እሱ ትዝ ብሎኝ እኮ😂 ምፅ

Besides, The resident and The good doctor and Chicago Med.

Speaking of open wound, I miss watching Grey’s anatomy. Recommend Med shows?

I’ve been thinking about how every tragedy I experienced made me feel the most alive. Weird how your heart and soul are split open and you’re a walking open wound. Surviving it is the game.

ጅብ ቢበላኝም አትፈልጉኝም ነው?

መደበሪያ ነገር :)