The Conscientious Observer
الذهاب إلى القناة على Telegram
I write and record what I observe from life's suffering.
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منشورات القناة
"Dear sound" has a similar feel to this piece. Def something I might perform in the future if I get the gist of it. I was kind of going through what you may call a "mini writer's block", partly because I was out of ideas and the partly because I have some stuff pending and didn't move an inch with them. Kinda glad this one turned out to be worth sharing as I wasn't sure it would.
| 2 | Dear Sound, Serenade Me
ሁለት ሰዓታት አልፈው ከቀን እኩሌታ
የጸሃይቱ ጨረር መሬት ላይ በርትታ።
ማዶ ካለ ጅረት ዳርቻ ተቀምጠን
እዛው ካለ ዋርካ፣ እስሩ ተጠልለን፣
ትናንት የሳቅነውን ዛሬ ላይ አንስተን፣
ቧልቱን ቧልተን፣ ወጉንም አውግተን፣
ትዝታን አንስተን፣ ያለፈን አውስተን፣
ሄድን በየፊናችን፣ ያለንን ተጫውተን።
That’s where the voices begin
to grow a pair of legs and kick in.
They are too loud for my liking.
Voices of doubt and uncertainty,
amplified to the point
my noise canceling ear buds,
can no longer do their jobs,
and I reach a point
where I screech for someone
to serenade me off these sounds.
Serenade me off the sound that amplifies trauma.
Replace it with nostalgia and gratitude,
place knowledge and wisdom too,
lest you forget fortitude.
These voices speak loud in silence,
these voices preach doubt and violence.
Out-speak them, out-preach them.
Serenade me with faith,
beat these sounds with amplitude,
tell them I don’t seek solitude,
tell them I don’t fear solitude.
Take over my earbuds, be the song that chased away Vecna.
Don’t let these voices win,
no matter how hard they yearn,
no matter how warm they burn.
Nullify them to oblivion,
and show them who is stern. | 100 |
| 3 | "Dear Sound, Serenade Me"
ሁለት ሰዓታት አልፈው ከቀን እኩሌታ
የጸሃይቱ ጨረር መሬት ላይ በርትታ።
ማዶ ካለ ጅረት ዳርቻ ተቀምጠን
እዛው ካለ ዋርካ ስር ተጠልለን፣
የትናንቱን ሳቅ ዛሬ ላይ አንስተን፣
ቧልቱን ቧልተን፣ ወጉንም አውግተን፣
ትዝታን አንስተን፣ ያለፈን አውስተን፣
ሄድን በየፊናችን፣ ያለንን ተጫውተን።
That’s where the voices begin
to grow a pair of legs and kick in.
They are too loud for my liking.
Voices of doubt and uncertainty,
amplified to the point
my noise canceling ear buds,
can no longer do their jobs,
and I reach a point
where I screech for someone
to serenade me off these sounds.
Serenade me off the sound that amplifies trauma.
Replace it with nostalgia and gratitude,
place knowledge and wisdom too,
lest you forget fortitude.
These voices speak loud in silence,
these voices preach doubt and violence.
Outspeak them, out-preach them.
Serenade me with faith,
beat these sounds with amplitude,
tell them I don’t seek solitude,
tell them I don’t fear solitude.
Take over my earbuds, be the song that chased away Vecna.
Don’t let these voices win,
no matter how hard they yearn,
no matter how warm they burn,
nullify them to oblivion,
and show them who is stern. | 1 |
| 4 | Compendium
[Intro]
All that you see
Are glimpses of me
Compiled into a compendium
Of words that define my thoughts eloquently.
Tragedy consumes.
Ecstasy eludes,
Agony ensues,
And as they do,
Many thoughts follow suit,
And become excerpts.
[Excerpt 1]
Permanent decisions for temporary impairments
Permanent excisions for temporary ailments
Are they too early?
Would it be too late if we avoided them?
Would it be delaying the inevitable?
Or do we not take the inevitable on our own hands
And leave it for a greater entity?
[Excerpt 2]
I often find myself cutting the petals of a lotus flower, chanting,
"Does she give me rebirth,
Does she give me rebirth, not?
Does she give me rebirth,
Does she give me rebirth, not?
Does she give me rebirth,
Does she give me rebirth, not?"
Until I eventually run out of petals.
[Excerpt 3]
What's the point of defeat
If you don't let it change you,
If you don't taste it for what it is,
For the bitter, billious taste
That reminds you to stay down to earth
And not pretend like it's a savory meal
You get to devour as you please?
Taste defeat
for what it is.
But first and foremost,
Taste defeat,
It's most honorable.
[Outro]
All that you see
Are glimpses of me,
Not the entire story.
But I doubt you would you possibly see,
Every detail, every scene,
Even if you tried your best. | 51 |
| 5 | Spite
Breath hampered by effusion,
Brain pampered by delusion,
Glaring with confusion,
Staring at the contusion,
Underneath my left elbow.
I sense a wilting weed,
I smell its rotting leaves,
In spite of which, still destroys
The land and its planted seeds.
Snake!
Stay as far away as you can.
Make no mistake, you're messing with the wrong man,
I've hit you at the nape of your neck
Far too many times but you seem to
Look for ways to have your fangs
Find their way to me.
A thousand on my side,
Ten thousand on my right,
A thousand on my side,
Ten thousand on my right,
Have fallen from grace and died.
Heart still beating,
Lungs still breathing,
But my mind is infested
By thoughts of you.
I thought I'd killed you,
I thought I'd closed the door on you,
But you always seem to lurk,
Waiting to writhe inside my home.
I told you once, and I guess that was nice
Enough to the point you want me to say it twice.
Screech as you want, cry as you might,
I still won't let you in,
Till the day you drown
Till the day you die
Choked blue and pinned down
Pummeled by your spite. | 46 |
| 6 | Narcolepsy
Light headed, and dizzy.
Vibes dented by syncope
After syncope
After syncope
After syncope.
Death to every entity
That had me carry
The weight of the world for free,
Without even offering to feed me
Putrescence masses,
Scums of the earth.
Bunch of ungrateful twats,
World's better off without them.
Light headed and dizzy,
Lost the concept of Trinity.
Three for one and one to three,
Further lose my grip of consciousness,
Try to find balance on the eucalyptus tree,
Try to count "one, two, three"
And then think of the entity
That is three for one and one to three,
Before I lose the remnant of my grip
My two hands seemed
To have on the thin eucalyptus tree.
And before I know,
Nighttime bleeds
Into the day and I awaken
Before reverting to the light headed,
Dizzy feel I had yesterday morning. | 40 |
| 7 | Read Occam's Razor! | 41 |
| 8 | Hope you guys are having a blessed life though. Been a min since I said that. እድሜና ጤና ካላችሁበት አይለያችሁ! | 41 |
| 9 | Anyways, tomorrow's Friday, finally the weekend is coming after a long week of work. Can't relate cause I'm on a break though hahahaha😹🤣😂😭🙏🏼🫵🏼 | 49 |
| 10 | I promise you guys I did not drink, I am almost tee-total. | 53 |
| 11 | This piece might be the closest I've come to explaining the state of mind I was actively going through over the past week or so. Sure as hell a mindfuck but let me briefly explain what Occam's razor is.
It's a branch of philosophy promoted by William of Occam to describe minimizing assumptions over a certain event in order to come to a certain conclusion and avoid unnecessary assumption. For example, if you get up in the morning and the clouds are dark, the roads are wet, and the air is cold, you likely assume that it rained at night instead of saying the clouds are dark because of a volcano eruption at Afar (while your ass is in Addis), the floor is wet because Godzilla decided to join the corridor project and piss on the road to hydrate it, and the air is cold because the sun is on a vacation.
That might be a bad explanation in hindsight | 59 |
| 12 | Occam's Razor
Occam’s razor,
had its heart beats raised,
as its eyes dawned upon
the arteries on my wrist.
The trenches are deep,
and everything is concomitant.
I’m forced to think the worst,
but my mind comes up with justifications
for each occurrence,
and each phenomenon
that goes against my way,
lest the razor gets too close.
Occam’s razor
can cut through my arteries,
but it can never pierce the duality
of life.
I can sense spirits.
Some
with warm embraces,
and everlasting hope to offer.
Some
with cold chains and daggers
ready to slip through my back
as needed.
And others,
angelic, with wings as sharp a a Swiss knife,
guarding me from,
others,
demonic, with horns on their chest
as they open their arms to embrace me.
Occam’s razor,
licks its lips at the thought
of its teeth, gnawing at my spine,
but lately I feel like it might be there
to pierce through those
trying to do the same as what my other side
thinks what Occam’s razor would do. | 116 |
| 13 | In the midst of the death,
I see life,
I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it eternal reign,
Or is it just a train? | 58 |
| 14 | 1 full year. Know you are still loved over here, Mekdiye. | 71 |
| 15 |  This is how the spoken word bit sounds... fuck it I'm emailing Andrew. | 155 |
| 16 | Azrael
[Intro]
I’ll wait for you,
In the mountain tops.
Where the ancestry
Lineages of centuries
Go down.
[Verse 1]
And you will learn,
That this, too, shall pass,
And all this pain,
Will be the thing of the past.
[Pre-Chorus]
Reach,
Out your hands to me,
Your fate,
Is mine and mine to keep,
Seek,
The pathway to me,
Your faith will be tested by this leap.
[Chorus]
I will save you,
I will deliver you,
From the pain,
From the pain,
That living induces,
[Verse 2]
Sometimes I wish you,
Came to me earlier,
So that I get to,
Liberate you from all this burden,
That life offers,
The sins you’ll end up making,
And the suffering you’ll bring to the earth.
[Verse 3]
And I know that you,
Can’t be trusted alive.
You will perish on your own.
[Pre-Chorus]
Teach,
To those in need,
Preach,
For those to heed,
To the creator’s word.
The truth is not that far,
Closer than the fallen star,
[Chorus]
I will save you,
I will deliver you,
From the pain,
From the pain,
That living induces,
[Bridge]
You will be mine,
So why resist?
You will be mine,
So why detest
Seeing my eyes,
And feeling my breath,?
[Chorus]
I will save you,
I will deliver you,
From the pain,
From the pain,
That living induces.
[Outro: Spoken Word]
Go on an almighty tangent,
To seek the highs of the earth,
Where the air seemed to thin.
Your lungs start to collapse,
And your healed fractures begin to relapse.
You’ve sought enough pleasure,
And run away from the pain,
But all that brought was equilibrium to your way,
You’ve filled your heart with love,
But left enough space for disdain.
Did you not think the broken mirror on your night stand
Never yearned to cut the arteries on your wrist?
Or that your bed didn’t want to be buried with you?
Your identity transcends universes,
But you fear leaving this planet.
Is the shortness of breath more apparent now?
Your family will be in safe hands,
Insurance is guaranteed.
Your wife will mourn your passing,
But she’ll find solace in that you’ll be ours.
Broken promises are a staple to our language,
And the higher we go, the more varied our words become,
This mountain was built by the creator,
But an even taller tower was designed by man,
But destroyed by God.
Are the words I’m saying becoming more familiar?
I’m Azrael,
I speak in tongues you never heard of,
But you seem to fathom what I say,
Take my hand.
Leave this earth behind,
It’ll feast on your rotting flesh,
And find solace in that you’ll be ours.
These minutes that feel like hours,
Will be gone by milliseconds.
So, Samsara, take my hand.
And be ours. | 169 |
| 17 | Wrote a song to this instrumental and remembered I couldn't sing lollll | 76 |
| 18 | links / via | 79 |
| 19 | So humor me, why don't you hear me out?
What if I could erase your pain? Get rid of all your doubts?
What if I knew of a place where you and I could be free? | 119 |
| 20 | links / via | 115 |
