ISSUESS ✎ツ

The english translation of: "የባህር ዳር ልጅ" being "Son of a beach" is not as funny as the abbreviation for Bahir Dar University being "BDU"

Psychiatrist: ምንም ሳትደብቅ እውነቱን ንገረኝ፣ ድምፆች ይሰሙሃል? Patient: ማለት? 🤨 ቆይ አንቺ አይሰሙሽም? Psychiatrist: እባክህ የጠየቅኩህን መልስ፣ ድምፆች ይሰሙሃል ወይ? Patient: አዋ ይሰሙኛል፣ በደንብ ነው ድምፆችን ምሰማው.. ግን ሁሉም ሰው እንደዛ አደልንዴ? አንቺ ድምፆች አይሰሙሽም? Psychiatrist: ለኔ አይሰሙኝም፣ አንተ ምን አይነት ድምፆች ነው ሚሰሙህ? Patient: ምን ትላለች እቺ 🤨 ድምፄን ሰምተሽው - ድምፅሽን ስለሰማው፥ አደለንዴ መነጋገር የያዝነው? ወይስ *identifying as a ደንቆሮ* is the new trend? Psychiatrist: Patient: ሴትዮ.. ድምፆችን ባንሰማ.. ጆሮዬም ጆሮሽም ጤናማ ባይሆኑ ኖሮ እንዴት ተደማመጥን? ነውኮ ምልሽ Nurse: excuse me sir.. Patient: not now Nurse: excuse me sir.. Patient: what?? Nurse: the Psychiatrist is ready see you, it's your turn, you can enter her office now Patient: wait a minute.. 😧

በመጀመርታ.. Teddy Afro እና Wendi Mak ዝምድና እንዳላቸው ያውቁ ኖሯል? . 😐 👉👈 በአዳም እና ሄዋን በኩል፤ ለጥቆ: የTeddyን artistic ability በካራቴ የዘረረው መጋኛ፣ የWendi Makን ችሎታ ደሞ በኩንግ-ፉ እንዳንሳፈፈው ሰምተዋል? 😐 አልሰሙም? ካልሰሙ.. Youtube ላይ በመግባት የWendi Makን አዲስ Album ይመልከቱ (“የPhoto Album ቢሆን ኖሮ የተሻለ ይዋጣለት ነበር” ብለዋል አንዳንድ ማንነታቸው እንዲገለፅ ያልፈለጉ ግለሰቦች.. “እነዛ ግለሰቦች አሁን እዚህ ክፍል ውስጥ ከኛ ጋር አሉ?” said the psychiatrist)

Some dreams we see are like Hindi movies:- the laws of physics ግራ ቂጣቸውን ተወግተዋል.. the maths ain't adding up.. Biology ain't Biologing.. nothing in it makes sense..! & so ገና ከመባነናችን በፊት ሁላ ነው ህልም መሆኑ ሚታወቀን Lyk: «Ain't no way a flying cow is chasing me from the sky & saying: "አነተ ነህ አደል ላም አለኝ በሰማይ ወተቷንም አላይ ያልክ? እንካ ቅመስ!" while shooting me with milk from it's tits.. ain't no way this shit is happening for real, It has to be a dream!» . .. ... But some dreams be sooo realistic; It takes a couple of moments to get back to reality & realize the shit you just saw wasn't real... If you had a bad dream; you be seriously thanking God it didn't really happen... & if it was a good one, you be having an "ኤጭ!" moment Lyk: "ኤጭ! እዚው መኝታ ክፍሌ ነቃው? ሼህ አላሙዲን መጥቶ "እስከዛሬ ልጄን ለደህንነቱ ሲባል በድብቅ ላሳደጋጁት አመስግናለው፣ አሁን ግን ከኔ ከእውነተኛ አባቱ ጎን የመሆኛ ሰዓቱ ነው" ብሎ ሙሉ ሀብቱን ያወረሰኝስ? 😧 Crushኤን ያገባኋትስ ቆይ? 😟 እሺ ቢያንስ የ810 እዳዬን የከፈልኩት እውነት ነዋ? 😫 ጌታ ሆይ ምጣ! ከዚ ክፉ ህልም ቀስቅሰኝ!"

Well.. well.. well.. Guess who's tipsy & ready to give y'all inappropriate hypotheticals? 🙂🕶👌 😎👌 በቀጥተኛው መንገድ ከሄድን ትራፊክ ስለሚይዘን፣ ውስጥለውስጥ አቆራርጠን ወደ ገደለው! (or to be more precice "ገደለችው!") 🎵suspense music playing in the background🎶 So remember ጨቡዴ ዳንዴ? ..ሰኞ ተወልዶ፣ ማክሰኞ ተጠምቆ፣ እሮብ አግብቶ፣ ሀሙስ ታመመ.. then within that week ህይወቱ አለፈ, አደል? 😐 & Y'all see nothing suspicious in him getting sick right after the day he got married? 😑 The wife did it!! She poisoned him! (i'm sorry for doing this to you "ቤቲ", but your name - ‛እሁድን በEbs’ እንኳን አፋልጎ ሊያገናኝሽ በማይቻል ሁኔታ - ጠፍቷል፣ የጠፋ አይን ራሱ, እድሜ ለአይን bank, ተስፋ አለው፥ but not your name ቤቲ.. ስምሽ እንደBettyዎች hymn ነው የጠፋው, never to return) So we'll call ጨቡዴ's wife "ቤቲ" እና ገደለችው! (ደግ አረገች tbh, that's not the topic.. Generally in life, ዋናው love ነው..! ዋናው ሙዝ ነው! ዋናው አናናስ ነው! but in this topic: ዋናው የጨቡዴ እና ቤቲ ቤተሰቦች beef መጀመራቸው ነው..) ጨቡዴ እሁድ ተቀበረ፣ ቤቲ በማግስቱ ሌላ ባል አገባች (typical betty 😑 ነውራም) But guess the name of her new husband? 🙂 ኦንኮርስ, the one & only: "ናቲ" (moment of silence to those waiting for this post to get to the point..) > ጨቡዴs fam disses ቤቲ > ናቲs fam disses ጨቡዴ > ጨቡዴ doesn't diss back coz he dead End of story። (ikr?) So what do we learn from this unga-banga? > When ጨቡዴs fam dissed ቤቲ, by saying: «ሰኞ ተወለዶ እሮብ ለጋብቻ የበቃውን፣ በፍጥነቱ ተወዳዳሪ የሌለውን፣ የአለም ክብረወሰን የሰበረውን.. አትሌቱን ልጃችን አጥተን ገና 40ውን ሳናወጣ፣ አንቺም የኛን ቅስም ልትሰብሪ ወደ ናቲ ሮጥሽ አደል? ዋልጌ!» > & ናቲ's fam clapped back by saying: «ጨቡዴ ለራሱ መች 40 ቀን ኖረና ነው 40ውን ምታወጣው? ደሞ ገና ዳዴ ሳይል የሮጠውና ክብረወሰን ሊሰብር የቻለው፣ መሮጥ የፈሪ ሰው መገለጫ ስለሆነ ነው! በጨቡዴ ቦቅቧቃነት ደሞ ከሱ ጋር በመፈርጠጥ ሚፎካከር ቢኖር ነበር ሚደንቀው..! ጀግናው ልጃችን ናቲ እንደሆነ ያስሮጣል እንጂ፣ አይሮጥም» ....Finally to the point.... We see how; ፈጣን ሯጭ መሆን can be framed as a source of personal & national pride V/s ፈጠን ሯጭ መሆን የCowardice መገለጫ ነው.. ❝In communication: Context is everything❞

Telling "አዙረህ በዛኛው side አውርደኝ" to a taxi driver, is the adult version of "Asphaltun አሻግረኝ"

No one: Karate አሰልጣኞች, after teaching how to እንክትክት አርጎ መሰባበር someone & መቆለፍ them like patternኡ የተረሳ ስልክ: «Remember kids, voilence is never the answer, ግጭቶችን ሁሌም በንግግር ነው መፍታት ያለብን, በንግግር ካልተሳካ ሮጦ ማምለጥ ነው መፍትሄው» - ሁሌ እንዲ ብትጫወቱ 🤨 እዋዋን በሉ እስኪ? ..ሮጦ ለማምለጥ እኮ black belt አያስፈልግም፣ As any local athlete ገጠር ገብቶ በጠዋት ወደ class መሮጥ ብቻ 😐 ያኔ ከጥቃት ብቻ ሳይሆን ከድህነቴም ሮጬ አመልጣለው.. (እንኳን ሰው፣ እንግሊዘኛም አይደርስብኝ).. ቆይ አለመግባባቶችን በንግግር ለመፍታትስ "4ቁጥር kick" እና "ሰውን የመቆለፍያ ዘዴ" ምን ጥቅም mister? 😑 ተከራካሪያችንን አየር ላይ እያንሳፈፍን to the right conclusion እንዲደርሱ ለማገዝ ነው..? ወይስ ቆላልፎ ማስቀመጥ is the new way of winning arguments? በቃ አንፎጋገር, we came here to learn how to deal wz ጠብ ቢጤ ያማራቸው ሰዎች, & you came to teach us how to end thier career

Let's say You መጋበዝ two different macchiatos to an alien (: Who starts a conversation like this? - Me, myself & I Now back to the hypothetical..) You're touring the world with an alien, & መጋበዝ him a cup of macchiato ("ማኪያቶ" sounds similar to "ሚኪ-አቶ" tho, don't it? Or when a japanese tries to prounounce.. focus! Back to the hypothetical) A cup of ማኪያቶ in Wadiya (ኦንኮርስ i'm referring to Eritrea) & a cup of ሚኪ-አቶ in Ethiopia, look & tatse similar, ryt? (ኦንኮርስ it does) Now.. after the Alien tastes these two cups from different places (let's hope he isn't allergic to coffee or milk), The Alien will prolly be like: «Wait a month! 🤨 ain't this brown drink the same i had in wadiya?» You (the ጦሰኛ tour guide of an alien, who's taking him around the globe & carelessly መጋበዘing him ማኪያቶ without checking if he's allergic 1st.. i'm telling you, this finna be how "Universal war 1" starts, over a damn cup of macchiato! ---- Anyway...) You'll be like: (Is it just me or this whole thing is getting longer than እሁድ? 🤔 Example መስጠቱ ቢቀርስ? 😐 የምን *ማኪያቶ ሚጠጣ alien* ነው? ቢቀርስ?) The point is: A ማኪያቶ in India & a ማኪያቶ in ጦብያ look & taste similar, not coz they're poured from the same machine, or coz they're made from the milk of the same cow, etc.. But because they're made from mixing generally simialr ingredients.. The point of this point? (Imagine how bad at communication do you have to be; for your point needing a point for itself.. ቢቀርስ ግን ይሄ ነገር?) Anyway -- This entire yapping was about "Anthropology" (ikr? እኛም ስንሰማ ደንግጠናል) Similar looking populations existing in different locations, doesn't mean they are poured from the same ፔርሙዝ.. or that the milk was from the same cow.. There are two cows & they've never met! Never have they ever moo'ed together! But the ማኪያቶness is the result of mixing any coffee with any milk...