ISSUESS ✎ツ

No one: Karate አሰልጣኞች, after teaching how to እንክትክት አርጎ መሰባበር someone & መቆለፍ them like patternኡ የተረሳ ስልክ: «Remember kids, voilence is never the answer, ግጭቶችን ሁሌም በንግግር ነው መፍታት ያለብን, በንግግር ካልተሳካ ሮጦ ማምለጥ ነው መፍትሄው» - ሁሌ እንዲ ብትጫወቱ 🤨 እዋዋን በሉ እስኪ? ..ሮጦ ለማምለጥ እኮ black belt አያስፈልግም፣ As any local athlete ገጠር ገብቶ በጠዋት ወደ class መሮጥ ብቻ 😐 ያኔ ከጥቃት ብቻ ሳይሆን ከድህነቴም ሮጬ አመልጣለው.. (እንኳን ሰው፣ እንግሊዘኛም አይደርስብኝ).. ቆይ አለመግባባቶችን በንግግር ለመፍታትስ "4ቁጥር kick" እና "ሰውን የመቆለፍያ ዘዴ" ምን ጥቅም mister? 😑 ተከራካሪያችንን አየር ላይ እያንሳፈፍን to the right conclusion እንዲደርሱ ለማገዝ ነው..? ወይስ ቆላልፎ ማስቀመጥ is the new way of winning arguments? በቃ አንፎጋገር, we came here to learn how to deal wz ጠብ ቢጤ ያማራቸው ሰዎች, & you came to teach us how to end thier career

Let's say You መጋበዝ two different macchiatos to an alien (: Who starts a conversation like this? - Me, myself & I Now back to the hypothetical..) You're touring the world with an alien, & መጋበዝ him a cup of macchiato ("ማኪያቶ" sounds similar to "ሚኪ-አቶ" tho, don't it? Or when a japanese tries to prounounce.. focus! Back to the hypothetical) A cup of ማኪያቶ in Wadiya (ኦንኮርስ i'm referring to Eritrea) & a cup of ሚኪ-አቶ in Ethiopia, look & tatse similar, ryt? (ኦንኮርስ it does) Now.. after the Alien tastes these two cups from different places (let's hope he isn't allergic to coffee or milk), The Alien will prolly be like: «Wait a month! 🤨 ain't this brown drink the same i had in wadiya?» You (the ጦሰኛ tour guide of an alien, who's taking him around the globe & carelessly መጋበዘing him ማኪያቶ without checking if he's allergic 1st.. i'm telling you, this finna be how "Universal war 1" starts, over a damn cup of macchiato! ---- Anyway...) You'll be like: (Is it just me or this whole thing is getting longer than እሁድ? 🤔 Example መስጠቱ ቢቀርስ? 😐 የምን *ማኪያቶ ሚጠጣ alien* ነው? ቢቀርስ?) The point is: A ማኪያቶ in India & a ማኪያቶ in ጦብያ look & taste similar, not coz they're poured from the same machine, or coz they're made from the milk of the same cow, etc.. But because they're made from mixing generally simialr ingredients.. The point of this point? (Imagine how bad at communication do you have to be; for your point needing a point for itself.. ቢቀርስ ግን ይሄ ነገር?) Anyway -- This entire yapping was about "Anthropology" (ikr? እኛም ስንሰማ ደንግጠናል) Similar looking populations existing in different locations, doesn't mean they are poured from the same ፔርሙዝ.. or that the milk was from the same cow.. There are two cows & they've never met! Never have they ever moo'ed together! But the ማኪያቶness is the result of mixing any coffee with any milk...

Amharic has many accents, & all of them are somewhat funny (there's the ኦሮምኛ accent.. "አንቴ ለሚንዲኖ እንደዛ ሚሎ? ሚን ለማለቲ ፈሊጎ ኖ?", there's the ትግርኛ accent, ጉራጌ accent, ደቡቤ accent & so on..) & although the ሀረሪ accent is not famous like the rest, i'd argue it's the funniest of them all.. Few examples; In harari "ሲጥበኝ" translates to "ስጠኝ".. So when using Amharic, a person with a harari accent will just say "ስጥብኝ" Just imagine how the convos would go : መነፅሩን ስጥብኝ እስኪ - ኧ? ምን አልከኝ? : መነፅሩን ስጥብኝ - ለምን ያንተን እቃ እሰጥብሃለው? : የኔ ስለሆነ ነዋ ምትሰጥብኝ.. ቶሎ ስጥብኝ በናትህ - ሰውየው ጤና የለውም እንዴ? ለማነው ንብረትህን ምሰጥብህ? ወይስ ነገር ነው ምትፈልገኝ? : ነገሩንማ የፈለግክ አንተ ነክ! ንብረቴን ስጥብኝ እንጂ ሌላ ምን አልኩ?? መነፀሬን ስጥብኝ ነው ያልኩህ፣ ስጥብኝ Another one.. to say "መውጣት" (as in ወደ ፎቅ መውጣት) translates to "መትሴቀል" in Harari.. & Idk how this error occured - ግን a person speaking amharic with a harari accent will often say "ወደላይ እንሰቀል" to mean "ወደላይ እንውጣ" The convo goes smtng like: - እዚ ማንም የለም፣ ወደላይ እንሰቀል መሰለኝ : ምን እናርግ? 😧 - ወይ ከዚ እንሂድ፣ አልያም ወደላይ እንሰቀል : ምንሼ "ብንሄድ ይሻላል" ምናምን ጀመርሽ እንዴ? 😟 - አሁን ተሰቀላለህ አትሰቀልም? : 😳😳 ወየው - ተወዋ ብቻዬን እሰቀላለው! አንተ እዚው ቆይ : ኧረ ተው ወዳጄ 😨 ኧረ የሰው ያለ!

Those unbelievable stories we hear abt how cheap things were in the past.. "በኛ ዘመን አንዱ ፍየል 3 ብር ተገዝቶ፣ ቆዳው 4 ብር ይሸጥ ነበር" (wait.. y'all ate ፍየል & made profit? 😧 so they paid y'all 1 ብር for eating the meat?? ሚ ኖጎ በሊይቭ ዲስ!) "የወር ደሞዜ 5 ብር ተ25 ሳንቲም ነበር፣ ታድያ ተንቀባርሬ ነበር ምኖረው፣ እቆጥብም ነበር.." (ሚንዲኖ ሚያወሩት እርሶ ሶዬ?? 😳) "ትዝ ይለኛል.. ተ97ኡ ግርግር ወዲ "ዳቦ 1 ብር ገባ" ተብሎ ሀገር ሲናጥ፣ ተንግዲ ሰው እንዴት ሊኖር ነው ካድያ?? ሲባል" (ቃልም የለኝ ለዚስ) I can't help but wonder, ወደፊት አሁን ካለንበት የባሰ ቀን መጥቶ፣ እኛም በተራችን ለመጪው ትውልድ: «በኛ ግዜኮ ኑሮ ደና ነበር.. ገንዘቡ መች እንዳሁን አቅሙን አጥቶ ወረቀት ሆነ?» እያልን ማይታመኑ stories እናወራ ይሆን?

That useless feature of our memory, where we know we've forgotten something but we don't know what it is.. & our brain just ሰላም መንሳትes us til we remember..