Our Side of the Story

Lord help my fragile heart, cause this??? Expect a long ass essay because I’m so not done with this movie.

I’m not okay after this. •Past Lives (2023)•

I love how forgiving God is, so pure, so certain, so lovingly forgiving.

እናንተ? ለካ the world is way ahead of us. Things to be considered as taboo or impractical are so normal that it’d be weird if we were without them. It’s quite terrifying to know that it will only be going forward from here on and baffle us even more. With books, films and songs nostalgia’ን ስናሳድድ ህዝቤ ጥሎን እልም...እልም ይበሉ እሱስ "ከስልጣኔያቸውም" ሆነ ከ "awakening” ምንም ጠብም ፍቅርም የለኝ እንዲሁ ነገሩ ገርሞኝ እንጂ::

My heart aches for so many reasons. The colors, every emotion and words. The nostalgia for a time I didn’t even exist in. •Taza•

I genuinely can listen to anyone talk about anything, I love it. An honest cry of “this person has hurt me so much I’m not gonna be okay for a while” but vents laced with so much negative energy, accountability የሌላቸው and too many grudges make me so uncomfortable I don’t know why. Usually I have so much to say after someone opens up to me or asks for help but in situations like this, my vocals refuse to cooperate and I end up just listening. You see, a victim mindset draws a pattern in your life even if you overcame it long ago. And you feel sorry for yourself whatever the situation is and no matter how much you should take responsibility. Being around such people somehow makes me want to go back there and be ungrateful and think highly of myself, I guess that’s why.

I don’t like relationship doctors, በስመአብ! Next to motivational speakers of course. Ten things you need to do for a woman to love you?! If you want him to immediately fall at your feet here’s a bunch of denying your true identity you should do😃👍🏾 We were having a conversation about this with my friends today and it actually dawned on me how many of them are just out there on every platform and they have audiences. መጀመሪያ! Everyone loves differently, we have different love languages and past experiences. My experience won’t fit into yours. You might relate and understand it but that’s a different story. “የፍቅር አጋርሽ (they always use this phrase it’s annoying) እንዲህ እንዲህ ብሎ ካልነገረሽ አይወድሽም!" እሺ ሌላስ😭 ስንቀጥል ደግሞ! Perfect ሆኖ ከእናቱ womb የወጣ የለም...”someone you’re looking to marry should never complain, a perfect mental health, a never ending flow of money and showering you with flowers every chance he gets” fear God every chance you get abeg! Know that you’re signing up for both the lows and highs of a person when you commit yourselves to them. As a common sense, there are facts that come off naturally you should set as a standard. ከዛ ውጪ without paying the slightest attention to your flaws and what’s expected of you ዝምብሎ አይጋለብም እሺ? አዎ:: ፍቅር መቻቻል ነው ብለው ደግሞ abuse ብትደራረጉም ዋጥ አርጋችሁ ቁጭ በሉ ሲሉላችሁም ነበር🤭 ከምንም በላይ ማንበብ የሚችል እና እግዜር በነፃ አእምሮ ሰጥቶት question የማያደርግ ሰው ያበሳጨኛል! Read and learn from your experiences. Don’t let other people dictate your life for you. የሰው ምክር አትስሙ አላልኩም ደግሞ ያልተፃፈ አታንብቡ🙄

When those days come that feel like የሚያልፍ የማይመስሉ and everything suffocates you even the most minor thought I hope ትንንሽ የሚባሉ ግን soothing የሆኑ encounters like a kind gesture or a smile from a stranger come your away to calm your heart and remind you that these days are passing too.

ሰላም ለምድሪቱ እመኛለሁ። ለእኔ ግን የተወሰነ መናወጥ አያሳጣኝ። መጻፍና መጫወት አለብኝ። ምን ዋጋ አለኝ ካልሆነ? ቃላት በፊቴ ካልወደቁ?

Noah has been a favorite coping mechanism for years, he knows what goes on in my mind and finds the most beautiful lyrics and melodies for my emotions. This track is about preventing suicide. And yep every line made me tear up!

My heart aches for the adults I see around me. Holding to their only hope that is God and doing their best to survive. Because you can see “I wish I could have been this but my time is up” written all over their wrinkles and slumped shoulders. Just sitting as admiring the success and wins of their friends, with a genuine heart even. As much as I feel for them, it’s a painful truth that I don’t want to end my days like them.

Human interactions are growing to be draining by the day, besides my people of course.

Working from home is nice and cozy until you have malfunctioning knees and your spine is shaped like a banana :)

A piece of advice - Don't get attached! (I know I am not entitled to give advice, and I hate doing so. But who cares? 😂) Starting from an early age, I've had the chance to be with many individuals as friends and brothers. Only a few of them are still in my life, while the rest have moved on. I'm quite sure they barely remember me. I always find myself blaming myself for their departure and living in the nostalgia of our memories. And now, probably in the middle of my life, I realized attachment is the source of most pains. All the little scratchs on the wall of my heart ቢኮዛቸው attachment ነው 😅 ብዙ የቅርቤ ያይደሉ ሰዎች ብዙ ነገር ሲሉኝ ወይ ሲያደርጉብኝ ልቤ ድንጋይ የሆነ ያህል ምንም ሳይሰማኝ ሲቀር፤ የቅርቤ ያልኳቸው ደግሞ ለእነርሱ እንኳን በማይታወቅ አኳኋን፣ ከምንም በሚቆጠር ድርጊታቸው ብዙ ቆስያለሁ። እና ዛሬ መለስ ብዬ ሳስባቸው የማልረሳቸው ክፉ ትዝታዎቼ ከመቀራረብ የመነጩ መስለው ይታዩኛል። መስታወትን ይበልጥ የሚሰብረው ከሩቅ ነው ከቅርብ የተወረወረ ድንጋይ? People are beautiful and loveable. But they are people after all. They have much in their own plates. No matter how much you love them, how hard you try, and to what extent you want them to stay, ultimately they will go - in one or another way. የሆነ የሔኖክ ግጥም አለ that touched my heart - "አንዳንድ ሰዎች ማለት ጥርጊያ መንገድ ናቸው እስከሰዎች ድረስ" የሚል። እውነት ነው! ቢመረንም ቢጥመንም በቃ አንዳንዶቻችን ወደሌሎች ሰዎች የምናደርስ መንገዶች ነን። መንገድ ደግሞ ከመንገደኛው በፍቅር መክነፍ የለበትም - መንገደኛው ሂያጅ ነውና! People come and people go. It's not because they are bad, it's just because that's how life functions and how the system is wired. If things ain't working, you gotta smile and move on - there are much in life! እና ሰውን መውደድ፣ ለቀረቡን ሁሉ መልካም መሆን እንዳለ ሆኖ ከሰዎች ጋር ያለንን attachment መቀነስ ከብዙ ሕመም ይጠብቀናል። Eat, laugh, enjoy, talk, fight with them but there should be some boundary. ብንችል priority መስጠት ያለብን ለራሳችን ነው! የሆነ ቀን ብቻችንን ስንቀር ከሁለት ያጣ እንዳንሆን! እና ይሄ ነገር ልጅ ሳለሁ ቢገባኝ ኖሮ ከብዙ ሕመም ባመለጥኩ ነበር! I have been through a lot and it's not worth it - believe me, it's not totally worth it!! Have a good night! ❤

Can you vote for me pls? @votefreebot