Our Side of the Story
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I love love honest writers. When you choose to write, a tad bit of vulnerability if not more is asked of you. áá á¨á á᪠itâs about your vocabulary and how you express what you want to say. ááá áŠáá áŤá áĽáááľ á áá°áá áĽáá˛ááľáá áá°á¨áá áĽááᢠYes Iâm very well aware fiction á¨ááŁá ááá áĽááłá áĽáą á áá°áá ááĽá¤á˘
á ááá˝á á ááłááľâŚtheir words storm to your heart and make themselves known of how honest they are. á°ááĽá¨á á˘ááľáá you can tell they come from the pits of the writerâs deepest corners. áĽá á áá˝áá áĽáá°á ááá or perhaps itâs something Iâm learning to do. On my wrist 24/7 on duty á¨áá ááĽá¨áἠpolice officers á áâŚá§á¨ áĽá᪠áĽáá°áá
á ááŁáá á¨áááᢠáĽáŤááłááˇá á
ááá áĽá¨á°áá á á¨áá
áá áĽááá á¨áá á¨á
áŤá á°ááŞáá˝ á°áá áŁá´ áŤá áá ááá ááĄááᢠáĽá á áľá°á᪠áá á ááŠ? ᨠá°áá áá፠á°áá ááŠ? ááŁá áľááááą áĽááᢠá áá°áá á°á᪠TikTok comment sectionâᤠáľá âá¨ááá á
ááá ááá áŁáłáłáŞáâ áĽáá áĽáá´áľ áĽáá°áłáŠáŁ á¨á°á áá
á ááľ label á¨á°á°á á á¨á፠á᪠ááá á áá˝áá á áá°á? ááá áá? ááá°áá˝á˘
áá¸á á ááá áĽá
áĽáá áĽáŤáá ááᣠáá ááľáááá¸á áĽáŤáአáĽá¨á°á¨áአlmao. Go read a book or something ááᏠtheme áĽá ááĽáĽ á¨áááá˘
(a very mediocre attempt to become an honest writer, áľááá)
Itâs been six years since I was 18, time has stretched and bled so much since then. I come back to Noah and John Mayer whenever I need to feel the bittersweet comfort of being 18 again.Todayâs that day.
I discovered NoahᏠ(my favourite coping mechanism) at 18, I remember wondering if it was allowed to be so vulnerable in a song. I could tell he was the âáááľáá ááłáŤáĽáąáľâ dude from his songs, like he realised life wasnât that deep before all of us and decided to write songs about it. I wished more people listened to him, even though I wanted him to be my little secret. People instantly became my favourite if they listened to him. I learned vulnerability from his little songs, that you didnât need big words and metaphors to make something so magical as long as you truly felt and lived through it. I love how he grows more joyful and real through his albums. If nostalgia is your enemy but you still chase it, this is your song (artist lol).
I hate to admit that life has actually gotten to me, found my lil optimistic, live in the moment self trapped in jobs and responsibilities that I forgot to write, breathe and consciously do all the things that I love. á፠the point is to find the melody of tizita amidst the chaotic rhythm of the life around you. Like speeding down the walks of people and tuning out their conversations just subtly enough so you wouldnât go crazy. Iâve actually realised this a lot of times over the years but itâs something Iâll have to teach myself over and over again. á°áá á°áááá á á˛áľ á¨ááááĽá áááľáááá˘
Third year I didnât perform well in class, for a lot of reasons Iâve learned to give myself grace on. ááá
áá´ á˝ááá áŤáá áŤá
á áá á á¨áá°ááâŚliterally.
A time when I realised, emotions áĽááĽáá áááŽá˝ áĽáá°áá áĽá ᨠáá
áᣠáľááľáŁ áľáŤáᣠá°áľáł áááá á áá á logic á¨á¸á á° á áááŤá áá áááá á°áá á¨ááá
á ááᎠá°áĽáŹ áááá á áŁá á áľááá áĽáá°ááá˘
Reality from whatever hole your emotions sent you to áĽáľááľáᥠá áá áĽáá˝ááᢠáĽáá´ áĽáá˛á
áá áá á áĽáŽ áááá á reality a big fat joke ááá˘
To live sanely, I beg! find the balance between being in your little giddy days and those you should let the duo of reality and brain cells take over.
Be soft when you need to, have edges to protect your softness too.
May you realise youâre going the wrong way before youâre far too gone.
á¨áááŁá˝á áĽáá˛áááłá˝á á¨á
ááŠá áááŁá˝áá áĽáľááłáĄáľ á áľááᢠá ááá˘
Third year I didnât perform well in class, for a lot of reasons Iâve learned to give myself grace on. ááá
áá´ á˝ááá áŤáá áŤá
á áá á á¨áá°ááâŚliterally.
A time when I realised, emotions áĽááĽáá áááŽá˝ áĽáá°áá áĽá ᨠáá
áᣠáľááľáŁ áľáŤáᣠá°áľáł áááá á áá á logic á¨á¸á á° á áááŤá áá áááá á°áá á¨ááá
á ááᎠá°áĽáŹ áááá á áŁá á áľááá áĽáá°ááá˘
Reality from whatever hole your emotions sent you to áĽáľááľáᥠá áá áĽáá˝ááᢠáĽáá´ áĽáá˛á
áá áá á áĽáŽ áááá á reality a big fat joke ááá˘
To live sanely, I beg! find the balance between being in your little giddy days and those you should let the duo of reality and brain cells take over.
Be soft when you need to, have edges to protect your softness too :).
Yesterdayâs commute to work was so bright. Ran into áąá
á¨á°áአplayful kids, the sun was a beautiful yellow, the trees were a soothing shade of green (I was also wearing green) , and ážá ááá´s were ready with their áśáŽs. In a very long time áŤáá°á°áá excitement filled my insides.
á°á á°áá áá˛á
ᣠ2018á˘
áĽááłá á á°á¨á°áđť
Struggle áĽáŤá°á¨áᣠáĽáááĽáá˘áą á¨á á
á á áá á áá tragedies áááá áľ á°á âá ááá
á¨áĽááá á°á áᣠáááâ áááá áááľ ááá áá á¨áááľááᢠáĽáş áĽáááľ á áĽáá experience áá°á¨ááľáŁ áááŤáááŁáľ á°áá˝ áĽáť áá á¨ááľá°áŤáᢠâIâll pray for youâ is my go to. á¨áá˝ááľ áĽáˇ á°áááá˝áŁ áἠáľáĽáŤáľ á áľááŽáľáŁ á¨ááľá¨áá á áá á á°ááááľ á°áá áá¨áł á°á á ááá
ááá ááᣠááŤá á¨áłá? ááľáá ááŤá°áá
? áĽáááľ áĽá á°áľá áá°á á? áĽáá°áá ááłáá
áááľáááâŚáĽá á¨á°áťáአáá áĽáŤáአá áááľ áááá˘
áłá
á áá á ááᣠáľáááľáŁ ááŁáĽáŽ ááá áá¨áłáłáľáŁ ááá áĽá á áá á recommend ááľá¨á ááᢠáá áá
áá áĽáľáááá âIâll pray for youâ áĽáááá áá
á°á á¨áĽááá áĽáá˛á á ᣠguitar solo áĽá á°á ἠáá áĽáśáľ áĽáŤááá° á¨ááŤáľáᣠfilm recommend áĽáá°ááááᢠá áá˘
From a buffet of topics to write and wail about âá áĽáá¨áľá á áááŤá á§á¨â á¨áá á¨áááľáá is romantic loveᣠáĽáá˛áŤ áĽáá° á
á áá ááľ ááŽáŽá
áľáá
á
á ááá
áááá áĽáŤáአáĽááłááááአáá
!
The things we outgrow are so bizarre. I was having a conversation about it with someone and mid conversation I realised that experiencing lifeâs different shades intensely besides romantic love lessened itâs significance for me. Itâs not that I hate it (I hope so lol), just that Iâd rather be more excited and inspired by literally anything else.
ááááŁáľ á°áá itâs the need to be in control. All the days I wrote about love, I witnessed my control slowly ebbing away in my words and I was a walking open wound liable for more damage. Random thoughts I can tailor however I want to, I shape and carve them however I want them to sound. áŤáá áśáŹ ááᣠthe words immediately go âsorry debs, boss is hereâ and turn their backs to tell on me. á
á áŤá áá áá áá the deep water Iâm in á¨ááłáááᢠYeppp maybe thatâs it. As usual psychoanalysis á ááááľá á´áááľ :).
Repost from Brown Empire
Day 4
ááľáłááľ ááľáłáá´âŚ
ááľáłáá´ ááľ áľáá áśáľáľ ááá á áľáŁááá˘
á ááľ
áĽá
áśáź á¨ááá¸áá á¨á ááľá´á ááá˝á˘ áľáá˝ ááá áá á¨á°ááŁáŁááá âáłáᣠááááź áĽááá° áá˝áâáâ á¨ááá á ááĽáź ááááź áĽáľáŞáá á¨ááŠáľáá˘
ááľáłáá´ á¨ááą áľááł á ááᢠ(ááľáłáá´ á¨ááą áá áá˘) ááá áŤáááááᣠááááľ áĽáá áŤá°á¨ááá á°áá áĽáá°áľáá
áĽá
áľ á¨áá°á
አáááľáááá˘
á á á áá°á ááźá á¨áááŤáŤá
ᣠáĽááŤáŤá
á á¨ááá áá áááľáá áá áᢠáĽáá
áá á¨á
ááá´ ááá ááľáĽ áŤááľ á°áá˝ ááá¸á á°áá áąáź áĽá áᎠá˛áá á¨áá ááá˝ á
ááá´ áťá áłááá áĽáá°áá° áŤá
á áá°áááᢠá˘ááá á ááá áŁáś áŚáł áľáś áĽáá°áááἠáŤá
á âá°á á áâ áĽáŹ á¨á°ááŠáá¸á á áá á¨ááááá áŚáł áŤáľáááĽáŠáá¸á áá¸áᢠá¨ááá°áá¸á á ááᏠááľáĽ áľááá áłáááá á ááľ áĽáŹ á¨áááĽáŤá¸á áá¸áá˘
áĽáááŤáá áĽáŽáŁ á¨áťáľ ááŠá á ááᣠáááľ áŤááááᢠáá áĽá¨á°áŠ ááá á áá˝ á
á
á áľ á¨áááá ááá
á¨áá á¨áĽá áá á¨ááááá ááá áἠáá¤á ááááá´á á á ááááŁáľ ááááááᢠáŤá á¨á°áŤáŤá
ááŁá¸áá áá á á ááłáľ áĽáá°ááľáľá áĽáá°á á˛áľ áŤá˝á á áĽáá°áŤá¨áááá˘
á¨áááź á ááľ áááźáŁ á¨áĽá
áśáź á ááľ áĽá
áśáź áŁá¨áá°ááź á ááľ áá°ááź áá áŠá˘
á°áá áĽáŽ áááľ á ááá á ááá á¨ááľááá¸á my partner in crimeâs áá áŠá˘ ááľáłáá´ áĽá á¨áá ááá áľ áľá˛á¨áŽá˝ áĽááąá áŤáľáááááá˘
*
áááľ
áá´á á á¨áááᢠá¨á°ááł á¤áą áá´ á°áľ ááááᢠááá áá áአáá I wasnât always this beautiful. Millennials understand this glowᢠááá áĽá áĽáľáá á¨ááá°á ááá
ááᢠááŤáľ áĽá áŤáááá˘
beauty is often a fragile illusion, a delicate arrangement of creams, oils, potions, and routines. á˘ááá áá´á áĽá áŁáŁ á áá áá áľáᢠá á á áá°á áłáááŁáŁ áĽááłáá°áááĽá˘ á¤áľ á¤áľ á°ááŹáŁ á᪠áĽáá¤áľ á¨ááá ááá áááá áĽáááááᢠá áŁá á°ááŁáĽáź á¨á áá¨áĽá á ááąá áááŁáľ á¨áá ááᣠááŽáἠáá á¨á áááľ áἠá¨áááἠáááĽá°á á ááŤá ááá˘
á¨áá áľ á áĽá°áĽ á áᣠá áááááᢠáľááľ á˝áá á ááá áľ áá á¨ááá á á áłáŤáŤ âá¨á á ááá ááááŤáľ áá áľáááľ á°ááľáł áŤáˇá á¨á°áá˝ááâ áŤááŁáᢠá áá áľ á áŠá á¨á°áŤááĽáá ááá á áĽáá°ááł á¨ááááá áĽáááł ááá˘
á¨áĽáááľ ááá á¨ááአá¨áááľáá á¨áááľá ááľáľ áᏠáĽá á¨áá°áᏠá°á፠á áľáá ááá˘
ááá
áá á˛ááᥠá¨áĽá áá¸á áááłáᢠáĽáá áĽáá°áĽáĄá ááĽáááľ ááá áĽáŹ áá¤á áľáŞá áĽáŤá°á¨áá˝ áĽáá°áá¸áááá˘
âá áááŤá áĽááłááş áľááá áŤáᣠá¨áᯠáĽááłááş áá
áľ áŤáᣠá áááá ᣠááᯠáĽááłááş áŤáŤâŚ âáááá áááá á°áááá˝ á áᡠááá á˛áŤááŠá˘ áłáâáá˝ áá á´ á¨áááá¨á á ááą á á áááľáááá˘
áááá áĽáá°ááť áá âá፠ááá áá˝â âáá áĽáŽ áłááŞáŤáá˝â áááá áłááŁá áľááá á´ á¨á°áááľ á¨ááą áá áááá áŤáááŠáľ áĽááąá ááᢠáĽáá°á ááŽáłááľ á¨áá áľ áááŞáŤá áľáááŤá°áááᣠááľáłáá´ ááľ áľáá á ááá á¨ááą áĽááłááá˘
*
áśáľáľ
á¨áĽáľá ááľááŽá˝
áá áĽá áááá áĽááłá áá á¨á
áááľ ááŁá á¨ááĽáŤá áłááá á¨áááá¨á á°ááłááš ááľáĽ áĽáá°áá áá°áááᢠáá áááá˝á áá á˛ááááľ ááááᣠáááŤá˝á áľá áŤáá á¨áłá
ááľáá á°áá
áááᣠá ááá˝á áľá á áľáą áááľááľ á¨ááአá¨áŞááá áááááá˝ áľáááľ áĽáá°áá አáá á áááł áŚáł áááá ⌠á áá áá°á áĽáá°á á¨á áá°áŽáŤá˝ááŁá¸á á¨ááłááá¸á á áááľ áááá˘
á¨á ááŁááź á ááľ áá áááá°áááĽáŁ á
áááľ á áá ááłá°ááá¸á áᏠá áľáą ááľá áŤááŁá˝á áľá áá´á áĽáłáľá°áááá˘
Thirties are quietly magnificent, People might call this the polite excuse we whisper to avoid naming the inevitability of aging. I have friends who extremely glorifies reality, that donât let me mascara my gray hair on my forehead which makes me more age conscious, and make me want to punch their throats lol and yes, sometimes I feel the pangs, á¨ááŹáľ á°ááľáź. But more often, I glide past it, letting the thought pass like a cloud across a sky I do not own.
