Nocturne

If I had a gun with only one bullet in it, I’d shoot disrespectful people twice.

I think one of the greatest achievements you can have is coming to the realization that you’ve never fought for someone’s attention. you’ve always been fully focused on your own self-contentment, your own goals, aware of the fact that no one’ll ever come to your rescue. You’ve always been in competition with yourself only. said no to things people your age have been consumed by and found your own happiness in little things that you made them exclusively yours. You’ve made a journal outta your life; all the pages filled with your own art. Never asked for external validation, everything you did so far has made you feel like you’re swimming freely; in an ocean you were once terrified of and the vastness of it makes you more hungry, more greedy even. The never ending pursuit. You’re just happy you can fight, sometimes exhausted yes, but still oblivious to the destination the water is taking you. so the life goes on and the journey brings about different colorful memories to your horizon and you’ll use them all on the pallet of your mind and paint a picture of yourself out of it for the gallery of the universe around.

Sometimes I look at some people and want to cry my love for them out. sometimes I love so deep I forget how cruel and miserable the world around me is. it’s unbelievable.

گاهی اوقات سرعت ردیف‌شدن کلمات توی ذهنم انقدر زیاده که تا به خودم میام می‌بینم یه کتاب چندجلدی از تمام اتفاقاتی که افتاد و نباید می‌افتاد، داره‌ می‌افته و بهتر می‌بود که نیوفته، نمی‌افته ولی کاش بیوفته، افتاد خوبشم افتاد، خواهد افتاد یا نخواهد افتاد؟ توی ذهنم شکل گرفته. تهش هم که فکر می‌کنم آخیش رسیدم آخرین چپتر از آخرین کتاب تازه به پلات توییستش می‌رسم و می‌فهمم پایانشم حتی هم بازه.

"Those innocent eyes slit my soul up like a razor."

- Fyodor Dostoevsky, from The Brothers Karamazov

Jinx: "I'm done running in circles." Silco: "We build our own prisons, bars, forged of oaths, codes, commitments, wars of self doubt and accepted limitation. We inhabit these cells, these identities, and call them us. I thought I could break free by eliminating those I deemed my jailers, but Jinx, I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away.."

-Arcane, S02,Ep8