Our Side of the Story

ባለ better assumptions, feel free to let me know.

Everyone on IG had wild assumptions about this one. What do you think it’s about?

''አትመጪም?" ልቤ ላይ ሰፈራችን ያሉት ጎረምሶች የሚቀመጡባት ድንጋይ ያህል "አይ አልፈልግም አልመጣም" እና "በቃኝ ደከምከኝ" እኩል ውዝፍ ይሉብኛል 'ኧረ መጣሁ ይኸው' ሳጌን እንቅ...ስለ መውደድና ህመሙ ያጫወትኳት ማስታወሻዬ ኪሳራ ነሽ የምትለኝ ይመስለኛል ያለ ወትሮው አንድ ያለኝ ንፁህ ሱሪዬ ጠቦኛል..."አትሄጂምምም" እንደምንም አባባዬ ለበስኩት...ጠረንሽ ደስ ሲል ያሰኘችኝም ሽቶ ባንገላታት አልነፋ ብላለች...ምን ነክቷቸዋል ዛሬ? የእኔ መደለል የእኔ ሞኝ መሆን እንዲህ ሚቆረቁራቸው? የነጠላ ጫማዬም ግልምጫ አለ ደግሞ "ከንቱ ዝምብለሽ ተክለፍለፊ...ጠንቋይ ለእራሱ አያውቅም ነሽ" የሀጥያት ረመጥ ውስጥ ከርሞ ጌታው ፊት ለመቅረብ አቅም እንዳጣ ሰውነቴ ቁሽሽ ያለ ያህል ይሰማኛል...አሁን ታጥቤ መጣሁ አይደል እንዴ? "ራስሽን መካድሽ ነው የሚያሳክክሽ ባክሽ" ይላል ቆዳዬ እየለበለበኝ:: ራስ ምታቴም ድንገት መቶ ይጋጠመኛል...በእያንዳንዱ ድውታ "የቂልም ቂል...ደግሞ በስንቱ ውሸት ልታሳምሚኝ ነው?" ለጤና ያድርግልኝ ብዬ ስንሾካሾክ ከ ቁምሳጥኔ ውስጥ ያቺ ጥቁር ቀሚስ ከት ብላ ትስቃለች "ማፈሪያ...ጤናሽን ያጣሽው እኔን ለብሰሽ የተሽኮረምመሽ ቀን ነው...ሆምጣጤነትሽን ያጣሽው አንገትሽን የሰበርሽ ዕለት...ደግሞ ለጤና ያድርግልኝ ትላለች" "በጣም ጠበኩሽ እኮ አትመጪም?" "ይኸው ወጣሁ" ወቀሳዬን...የሰውነቴን ግፊት...የህሊናዬን ልመና ከ አልጋዬ ትቼ ይኸው ወጣሁ::

weekly reminder: don't be bitter, don't be bitter. 🖤

እናንተ ግዙ እስቲ :)

https://forms.gle/gE3QsBLhEYpEE1zv7 Here’s a link for you to register.

አልጠራሽንም እንዳትሉ :) Yes Deborah Atnafu is me.

Can we not have the “trauma makes you stronger” conversation? Please and thank you. My little cousin had issues at school, they bullied her in the name of a “joke” and bullied her again for standing up for herself and defending what was right. Had she stayed quiet? They’d have done it again. Though it’s the unwavering reality of the world we walk in everyday , being exposed to the unloving side of the world at an age of not having the mental capacity to comprehend any of it isn’t something you really need to be “strong.” Okay it happened, we move on, but it was preferable if it didn’t. “Hey, how were they at school today?” “Did any them talk to you?” “Did you eat alone?” “Was anyone kind to you?” it’s not a pleasurable experience for me or her mom to ask this, imagine her. Someone said “she’ll grow up to be strong and won’t be vulnerable to people using her when she’s older” Perhaps trauma makes you stronger but it also stops time, sometimes moves it faster. You then realize your thought process and needs are not compatible with your friends, another incomprehensible pain.

ትላንት የሌለ ውዝግብ ብዬ I almost made a decision that I would have regretted within seconds. Not just yesterday honestly, the past few weeks as well. I had a very hard time regulating things, situations and my reactions. Someone who catches up with my creativity lol appreciated my works and added “I can’t imagine how hard it is to constantly think and be lost in your mind to birth your words” በስማም እንዴት ክው እንዳልኩ...I felt understood በትንሹም, I was talking about this on my tiktok live yesterday. ብዙ ጊዜ when your literary side is the epitome of your identity ሰው ስለምትፅፉት ነገር ነው እንጂ worry የሚያደርገው “what was going through your mind when you wrote this?” አትባሉም...in a way I love it. Because I won’t be giving unnecessary explanations to everyone who runs into my works. እና this overwhelming depth of my thoughts ስለሚያስፈራኝ I’ve stopped writing for a while, besides journaling ofc. Which led to this staggering of emotions and decisions. Makes me wonder how people with no outlets deal with their minds, truly. ብቻ አይዞን ለሁላችንም :)

ተዉ ይህቺን ፀሀይ አንድ በሉ...ቀለጥነ!

ብዙ ነገር ለእኔ weird ነው...መንገድ ላይ ብቻዬን ሳወራ ካያችሁኝ እንዲህች ብላችሁ እንዳትደነግጡ normal ነው:: እሱ አይደለም ነጥቡ...ፀሃዩ ሲያስጠላ ብታዩ! ለቅሶ ያሰኛል...እርግብግቢቴን ሲለኝ ቆይቶ ቁጭ ብዬ ኮካ አዘዝኩ ከመቃጠሌ ብዛት ማሰብያዬም ደንዞ ይሁን ስትሮውን ገልብጬ ከተትኩት...ና ተጠጣ አልጠጣም ከዛ when I realized በጣም ሳኩ...እናስ ብቻዬን:: ከዛ አስቆኝ ቢተው እሺ ምን ስሆን እንደገለበጥኩት ከራሴ ጋር ውይይት ጀመርኩ...ብዙ ነገር ብቻ ሳይሆን ለእኔ weird እኔዋም weird ነኝ:: ደግሞ ፈረንጅ እንዴት ነጭ ነው? በስማም! Melanin ውሎ ይግባ ኧረ...

AbuWalad was once my favorite My late grandfather Abba’ye was a quiet and reserved man, I don’t remember him being loud and playful like other grandfathers, the longest conversations he had was with Ema’ye, his wife. I learned the comfort in silence from him, when mom went away for work trips, my eight year old heart burnt with anxiety and missing her. He never said a word or two of comfort, he just held out his hand and took me out for a walk around the little ins and outs of our village, only to stop at the shop near our home and buy me Abuwalad and jolyjuice. This was a routine every time he noticed that I wasn’t as loud and cheerful as I usually was. I perfectly remember his hands, rough veins and the golden ring he had. I now can not taste abuwalad and not remember his face, quietness and warmth. It feels foreign to buy it without him beside me. But it was once my favorite, my first coping mechanism. 04.09 DT

ወደ ቦሌ እየሄድኩ ቅድም...ሹፌሩ ቂሊንጦ ስለገባ የቅርቡ ሰው ከረዳቱ ጋር እያወራ ነው...ባለታሪኩም ሹፌር መሰል...ሰው ገጭቶ መሆኑ ነው:: በወሬ መሃል አየር የማይወስድ ሰው እንደማደንቅ! እንዲሁ ሲንጣጣ ከ ፒያሳ ደምበል ደረስን...ታድያ አምልጦት ይሁን እንጃ "እኔም እኮ የተፈረደብኝ ጊዜ" በስማም ከምኔው የምወርድበት ደርሶልኝ...ባወራ ቁጥር ሌላ የቂሊንጦ ታሪክ ተዋናዮች እንዳንሆን ልቤ ከፍ ዝቅ ስትል...እሱም እንደተንጣጣ ወረድኩ:: Hopefully ቀሪዎቹ ሰላም ደርሰዋል :)