the ideal muslimah 🩷

She does not look at other men • The true Muslim woman avoids looking at men other than her husband. She does not stare at men who are not related to her (i.e. who are not her mahram), in obedience to the command of Allah: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze..." {24:31} By refraining from looking at other men, she attains the (Qur'anic) quality of chaste women who restrain their glances, a quality men love most in women. It is indicative of their purity, decency and fidelity. This is the excellent characteristics of the heste, decent, pure Muslim woman, and referred to in the Our'an when it speaks of the women of Paradise and their qualities that are loved by men: "In them will be [Maidens] chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or jinn before them has touched." {55:56}

Ibn Ḥajar al-Haythamī Raḥimahullāh said: “A woman going out of her house adorned and perfumed is from major sins EVEN if she does that by the permission of her husband.” ● [الزواجر لابن حجر الهيثمي ٣٧/٢]

She shares his joys and sorrows • Another of the ways in which a woman may endear herself to her husband is by sharing his joys and sorrows. She joins him in some of his pastimes, and his daily work, such as reading, exercise and attending useful talks and gatherings, and so on, so that her husband feels that he is not alone in his enjoyment of good things in life. He is sharing these pleasures with a loving, intelligent and loyal wife. The fact that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم raced with 'A'ishah رضي الله عنها more than once indicates the fact that Islam urges both the spouses to share their partner's joy and happiness in life, because this sharing has a powerful impact in deepening their feelings for one another and strengthening the bonds between them. Just as she shares his joys, she also shares his worries and concerns, and comes to him with kind words of consolation, mature and sensible advice and sincere emotional support.

She is cheerful and grateful when she meets him • One of the ways in which the Muslim woman makes herself attractive to her husband is by being happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle thus flooding her husband's life with joy. When he comes home exhausted from his work, she greets him with a smiling face and kind words. She puts her own concerns to one side for a while and helps him to forget some of his worries. She appears as cheerful and serene as she can, and expresses her gratitude to him every time does something good for her. The true Muslim woman is fair-minded, and is never ungrateful to any person, because the teachings of her religion protect her from falling into the error of bad behaviour and ingratitude for favours. How then could she be ungrateful to her husband, her beloved lifelong companion? She knows well the teaching of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: "He does not thank Allah who does not thank people." {Bukhari} She understands from this that every person who does good deeds and favours deserves thanks and recognition, so how could she hesitate or fail to show gratitude to her husband, especially when she hears the words of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: "Allah will not look at the woman who does not thank her husband at the time when she cannot do without him." {Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/190}

She makes herself beautiful for him • She makes herself beautiful for her husband by means of make-up, clothing, etc., in order to appear more beautiful and attractive, to please her husband. This was the practice of the righteous women of the salaf (predecessors), who used to devote their time to worshipping Allah and reading the Qur'an. Foremost among them were 'A'ishah رضي الله عنها and others. They used to wear fine clothes and jewellery at home and when travelling with their husbands, in order to make themselves look beautiful and attractive to them. Bakrah bint 'Uqbah visited 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with them) and asked her about using henna. 'A'ishah said, "It comes from a good tree and pure water." She also asked her about removine body hair, and she said, "If you have a husband, and you are to remove your eyes and replace them with something better for him then do it." {Ibn al-Jawzi, Ahkam an-Nisa 343} Let the careless women who neglect their appearance in front of their husbands listen to the advice of 'A'ishah, and realize that their beauty should be primarily for their husbands, and not for their friends and peers. Those women who are failing to make themselves beautiful for their husbands are sinners, because they are falling short in one of the greatest duties of marriage. Their negligence in beautifying themselves for their husbands may be the cause of their (husbands) staying away from them (wives) and looking at other women. The wife whose husband always finds her with unkempt hair, pale looking, and wearing shabby old clothes, is a foolish and disobedient wife. It will be of no help to her if she rushes to beautify herself only when receiving guests, or going to a women's party, but remains looking shabby most of the time in front of her husband. I think that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by the teachings of Islam will be safe from such shortcomings, because she treats her husband properly, and a woman who treats her husband properly is most unlikely to fail in fulfilling her duty towards him. 🎀 It is one of the teachings of Islam that a woman should make herself look beautiful for her husband, so that her husband sees her in the manner he loves to see. This is the reason that it is forbidden for a woman to dress in mourning for more than three days, except in the case of her husband's death, when she is permitted to mourn for four months and ten days. We find proof of this in the hadith narrated by Bukhari from Zaynab, the daughter of Umm Salamah. She said, came to Zaynab bint Jahsh, the wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم when her brother had died. She called for perfume and applied it to herself. then said, 'I am not using perfume because I need to, but because I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say from the minbar (pulpit): "It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to grieve for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she may grieve) four months and ten days." {Fath al-Bari, 9/484}

She fills his heart with joy • The clever and sensitive Muslim woman does not forget that one of the greatest deeds she can do in life, after worshipping Allah, is to be successful in endearing herself to her husband and filling his heart with joy, so that he feels in the depths of his heart that he is happy to be married to her, and enjoys living with her and being in her company. She uses her intelligence to find ways and means of opening his heart and filling it with joy and happiness, so that she a may become the queen of his heart. She understands that she is the greatest joy of a man in this world, as is stated in the hadith narrated by 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with him), in which the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is reported to have said: "This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman." {Muslim} She does not forget that she is the greatest joy in this life for a man, if she knows how to endear herself to him. If she does not know how to endear herself to him then in most cases she will be a source of unhappiness and misery to her husband, as was confirmed by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: "Three things make the son of Adam happy, and three make him miserable. Among the things that make the son of Adam happy are: a good wife, a good home and a good means of transport; the things that make him miserable are a bad wife, a bad home and a bad means of transport." {Ahmad} Hence being a good wife, and endearing oneself to one's husband, are a part of religion. This offers protection to a man by helping him to remain chaste, and strengthens the foundations of the family, thus bringing happiness to her husband and children. The Muslim woman by nature likes to endear herself to her husband. By doing so she finds a way of fulfilling her femininity and her inclinations to make herself attractive. But for the Muslim woman, the matter goes even further. By seeking to win her husband's heart, she is also seeking to earn the pleasure of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, Who has made the excellent behaviour with her spouse a part of religion and about which she will be questioned in the Hereafter. She - therefore does not spare any effort in her loving treatment of her husband. She presents pleasing appearance, speaks pleasantly and kindly, and is a clever and likeable companion.

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