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| Дата | Привлечение подписчиков | Упоминания | Каналы | |
| 17 октября | 0 | |||
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| 15 октября | +1 | |||
| 14 октября | 0 | |||
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| 06 октября | +1 | |||
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Посты канала
It is not all bad though. There are good days, some days I can tolerate my jobs. I have an amazing boyfriend that I adore. Life has been good lately, I just can’t help but feel like something is missing. Do I need another $100 of income each week? Will that finally make me whole? Do I need to make more money?
| 2 | I think I was more articulate back then than I am now. Maybe it was because all I did was write and write till blister form on my ring finger from all the writings. All I had was a pen and paper to pour my heart out. Now that I am an adult, I have to find ways to communicate like a real person. To face the world and not live in a piece of paper only. I no longer have the luxury of time to ponder on my thoughts, I need to constantly show up for a job I don’t even enjoy doing. I am in another survival mode, this time it sucks the soul out of my eyes. | 13 |
| 3 |  Нет текста... | 36 |
| 4 |  Нет текста... | 36 |
| 5 |  Нет текста... | 36 |
| 6 |  Нет текста... | 36 |
| 7 | If I get my nails done, will I finally feel whole again? Or should I finally get that iPad mini and a coffee machine I have been wanting for so long. Retail therapy will be the death of me cause I can’t afford to spend beyond my means but I refuse to cut down my expenses. I just need to find ways to make more money to support my spending habits. | 59 |
| 8 |  Нет текста... | 170 |
| 9 | I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll start by fixing my salaah. I think that’s mainly why I feel so lost. I have been neglecting it and too focused on this dunya. I often forgot it’s temporary and it’s all a test. Maybe I won’t get what I want in this dunya, I will try to do better for my real future; the akhirah. | 151 |
| 10 | The 13 year old girl inside me still exists, the angry one who wants me dead. She occasionally surfaces when things don’t go my way, when I get upset. | 148 |
| 11 | Technically I can afford it now but back then I know I will never make it past 30 years old. Cause maybe by the time I am 30, time will fix itself. But it doesn’t just go away. | 138 |
| 12 | It is a crush to my ego to fully see myself and realise my flaws. When I realise there is so much work that needs to be done. I obviously need therapy, I don’t know why I have been putting it off. | 128 |
| 13 | In the meantime, I will give it to myself. I do not want to lose myself again in the process of loving someone else. | 114 |
| 14 | I think I want someone to give me what I want without having to tell them what I want. Them being curious enough that they would understand and figured me out. Cause if I have to explain it, it doesn’t feel the same. Because it doesn’t come from them but from me. | 104 |
| 15 | . | 101 |
| 16 | i long to be seen. | 89 |
| 17 |  Нет текста... | 89 |
| 18 | I rarely blame my parents these days for the way I turned out, it is my responsibility to heal and get help. I know it is not fair but it is just life, I need to accept my past can’t be changed and I can’t control everything. I just need to make the best out of the cards I am dealing with. | 96 |
| 19 | Misery feels comfortable, change feels so so so uncomfortable and unease. I am stuck in a job that I do not have passion in and it’s sucking the life out of me. | 90 |
| 20 | I have to unlearn the shame, it is not mine to keep. I have to grow and separate myself from who I was as a teen. I mean i can’t do it completely, they were still me. I think I am growing up and outgrowing the old me. | 87 |
