اکنون در دسترس! پژوهش تلگرام ۲۰۲۵ — مهمترین بینشهای سال 
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2:13 underneath, you’ve shown the worst part of me. the lower i sink, the fever’s rising. the moment you arose, i bludgeoned all hope. so sick and delusional, but still i dug up that hole.
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submit the blood to the ways of spirits. carried to daylight‘s edge and they will speak for a pouting mouth. sunken in like a dredge, it’s so easy when you make yourself the final cull. it’s easier done than said.
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i'm literally looking at the sky and the bright sun in the middle of clouds that are moving by the wind blowing and all i can think about in this view is to kill myself.
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i'm done with this meaty mass in my skull. i need to pour it out and replace it with a book, a vase of spider lilies, a rock, a coffee cup, a cigarette, anything but not this piece of shit we call it brain.
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you kept looking at me to find something within me, but i was lost on the inside-out as well.
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i keep looking at things that i would have but i didn't try to, so now i'm jealous. not because of not having it, but because of didn't have the desire to try to have it.
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kiss me, my beloved, with your cold blue lips. take my hands and take me home, Death.
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through the abyss of nowhere, i wander until the Gates of Nihil. spread your wings and take me home, Death.
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