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441
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+124 ساعت
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آرشیو پست ها
441
i walk with my head down. i ignore all the faces. away from the light, into dark places, walking on sidewalks, the path casts a gloom.
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عزیزم اون یک دقیقه بخوره تو سرت. میخوام هزاران دقیقه ازش کم کنی تا زودتر تموم شم برم پِی کارم.
441
like wtf do you mean by بزن برقص یه امشب رو شاد باش when you're whole life is falling apart, even at this very unlovable moment?
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the concept of being unreasonable happy for just one night just don't stick to my ass idk.
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4:44 see my shadow changing, stretching up and over me. soften this old armor, hoping i can clear the way by. stepping through my shadow, coming out the other side. step into the shadow, forty six and two are just ahead of me.
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i choose to live and to grow. take and give and to move. learn and love and to cry. kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie. hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through.
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3:12 change is coming. now is my time. listen to my muscle memory contemplate what i've been clinging to forty-six and two ahead of me.
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i wanna feel the change consume me, feel the outside turning in. i wanna feel the metamorphosis and cleansing i've endured in.
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join in, my child, and listen. digging through my old numb shadow.
my shadow's shedding skin, i've been picking scabs again. i'm down, digging through my old muscles, looking for a clue. i've been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could've been. i've been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions. for a piece to cross me over or a word to guide me in. i wanna feel the changes coming down, i wanna know what i've been hiding.
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واقعا دلم به حالِ منِ ۱۴ ساله می‌سوزه. طفلکی نمی‌دونسته قراره تبدیل به چه کثافتی بشه.
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کاش میتونستم منِ ۱۴ ساله که با شوق و ذوق تا ساعت ۲ شب بیدار مونده و فکر میکنه دیگه کاری خلاف‌تر از این حرکت نیست رو ببینم. چقدر گاوی تو بچه. چقدر گاویم بچه.
