Haunted by lipgloss

Two blue steel trains run through the tunnels of your cool blur steel eyes Vernon Rock quarry The vastness of which that has nothing on my beautiful mind Dylan I hear Dylan when I look at you I can see it on my arm in invisible ink like a tattoo The yin to my yang The toughness to my unending softness A striking example of masculinity Firm in your verticality Sure in your confrontation against all elements and duality The sun to my wilting Daisy The earth to the wildflower that doesn't care where it grows

Because captains aren't like poets They don't make metaphors between the sea and sky. And as I thought to myself That's why I write. All of this circumnavigating the earth Was to get back to my life 6 trips to the moon for my poetry to arise I'm not a captain I'm not a pilot I write I write.

As the last person's lights flooded over my windshield The night became very quiet And I thought- If I go back and end it How would I handle driving down your street and it becoming a distant memory Not reality No longer sweet Sweet the way it tastes in my mouth to say your name Sweet like when I was young, driving down those roads before we were done Before any big battles were lost or won Unbeknownst to everyone Except for you and I.

Last year when I wrote you my last letter (The beginning of my future poetry) I acknowledged who you were for the first time I didn't call you by any other name I let you know that I knew the true nature of your heart- That is evil That it convinced me that darkness is real That devil is a real devil And that monsters don't always know they are monsters

Time was stopping Moving through you You dictated By what moved you Only Moving never thinking Match the sun that's slowly sinking At the hight of afternoon In the heat of summer evening Like a phoenix like a chemtrail like a wavelength no one's claiming

Who am I to need when I've needed so much Asked for so much What I've been given I'm not yet sure I may never know that either Until I'm dead. For now though What I do know is that I don't deserve you- Not you at your best in your splendour towering Eucalyptus trees that sway in my dominion Not you at your worst Totally on fire, unlivable unbreathable

There are things you still don't know about me Like sometimes I'm afraid my sadness is too big and that one day you might have to help me handle it But until then May I always keep my eyes level to this skyline Assessing the glittering new development Off of the coast of Long beach Never to heaven or revenant Because I have faith in man as strange as that seems In times like these And it's not just because of the warmth that I have found in your brown eyes Bit because I believe in the goodness in me That it's firm enough to plant a flag in Or a rosebud Or to build a new life

Say goodbye now No resisting Live your life like No one's listening Be the art that life is breathing Be the soul the world is living Do what you want For you only Not for giving Just for taking No one's listening

People think that I'm rich and iam but not how they think I have a truck with a gold key chain in the ignition And on the back of says : happy joyous and free happy and when I drive I think about the last time my friends were driving with me How the radio was so loud that we couldn't hear the words So we became the music happy

Toward a future place A world unknown to me Made of something surreal and dripping Flowers in solar system oversized You Vernon Dylan No words needed to sponge up the dark nights Shoulder to shoulder in factory light No explanation for the globes in my eyes Letting me be who I would have been If everything had turned out alright