آسر

-أبو العلاء المعري

فَيـا قَلبُ مُت حُزناً وَلا تَـكُ جازِعا فَــإِنَّ جَـزوعَ الـقَومِ لَــيسَ بِخالِـدِ هَويتَ فَتاةً نَيلُها الخُلدُ فَاِلـتَمِس سَبيلاً إِلــى مــا لَستَ يَوماً بِواجِدِ هَــويتَ فَتــاةً كَالــغَزالَــةِ وَجهُهــا وَكَالــشَمسِ يَسبي دَلُّــها كُلَّ عابِدِ وَلــي كَبِدٌ حَــرّى وَقَلــبٌ مُعَــذَّبٌ وَدَمعٌ حَثيثٌ في الهَوى غَيرُ جامِدِ

فَيـا قَلبُ مُت حُزناً وَلا تَـكُ جازِعا فَــإِنَّ جَـزوعَ الـقَومِ لَــيسَ بِخالِـدِ هَويتَ فَتاةً نَيلُها الخُلدُ فَاِلـتَمِس سَبيلاً إِلــى مــا لَستَ يَوماً بِواجِدِ هَــويتَ فَتــاةً كَالــغَزالَــةِ وَجهُهــا وَكَالــشَمسِ يَسبي دَلُّــها كُلَّ عابِدِ وَلــي كَبِدٌ حَــرّى وَقَلــبٌ مُعَــذَّبٌ وَدَمعٌ حَثيثٌ في الهَوى غَيرُ جامِدِ

You ever open up with your family about what's in your head and somehow end up explaining why you even have the right to feel like that in the first place because the moment you try to talk about feeling depressed the conversation slowly turns into a list of everything you should be grateful for there's a roof over your head food on the table people who worked hard to give you a decent life and suddenly the thing you were trying to say stops being about how you feel and start sounding like your accusing them of failing you and that's when you realize they're not hearing depression they're hearing disrespect like the fact that you're struggling somehow are races everything they sacrifice and you can see it in the way the room changes the way their faces look confused or disappointed like they expected something else from you and now you're stuck sitting there trying to explain a feeling you barely understand yourself while also trying not to sound ungrateful in somewhere in the middle of all that the sadness you came to talk about gets buried under guilt because now it feels like you created a problem just by speaking and you leave that conversation wishing you never said anything at all because instead of feeling understood you just end up apologizing for being the kind of person who feels like this.