bullshitting to all

and a morning like this

to all the journal channels on telegram, including ofc BTA

i find it so strange as a controlling person, when things are not in my control and things just depend on randomness, it automatically makes thing beautiful. the moment i know my effort has been put into bringing this event, my joy leaves with it unfolding.

I'm still the old me, just with a better performing layer and better acting out abilities. it seems my whole life is an opera drama and the watchers are a mirror on the front seat and a lifeless mannequin who looks likes me

also when I'm reflecting back much clearly to my last few months now, i see how my core traits, which i thought were reductioning are actually much rigid than i thought.

this thing still isn't working, the 3 day interval spans to over a week or two weeks sometimes..

dream podium 😍🙏

what a peak song

how will anyone hear me scream in a world this loud?

to hate the rain. i despise people who despises rain. i can only imagine how unfulfilled, non content they are with life. because the sprinkles on my face fills me with joy, the cold breeze refuels me unlike any other thing could. the foggy mountains, the greeniest hue, the dancing of nature. i love everything about it. and the smell of it, mixed with the smell of coffee. did i mention the after effects of it? with the elegance it leaves and the serenity it provides. such a gloominess filled with purity, there's a beauty in it, no?