Violestial

22! I’ve grown so much this year. Life has shown me that no matter how hard it gets, I always find a way out. This year, I’ve changed in so many ways, and I’m really happy for myself. I am enough. That’s something I’ve finally realised this year. You can be the prettiest shade of blue, but some people’s favourite colour is red, and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s never too late to understand that. I stopped being afraid of what might go wrong and started getting excited about what might go right. You just let it be, let life and the universe itself choose for you. There are things that don’t depend on me, and that’s okay. All the kindness I give to people will find its way back to me. I feel it in the little things. In the warmth of the sun, in the eyes of strangers, in sincere smiles, in the touch of nature, in the presence of animals. It’s a quiet, gentle return that’s easy to miss. You just need to allow yourself to feel it. Happy Birthday to me.

You can’t make wrong decisions. Every single one of them leads you to where you’re supposed to be. We’re all different - our decisions are based on feelings, thoughts, mindsets, and unforeseen circumstances. You did what you felt was right at that exact moment, in that exact place, with certain people around you. You’re not just throwing your choices around - you’re gaining knowledge, understanding yourself better, and realising what works for you. Treat it as part of your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, not as mistakes. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort or certainty. It comes from moments of doubt, from falling, from choosing something that later teaches you a valuable lesson. Every experience shapes you into someone wiser and stronger.

“Because too much truth puts sadness in your heart and madness in your mind.” Some films i’ve watched this summer.

Envy is the worst feeling ever, and it’ll eat you inside. In most cases, it does not push you forward, on the contrary, it stops you and makes you completely absorb yourself with negative energy. Envy usually comes from comparison. You start comparing your life, achievements, relationships, appearance or any other aspects of existence with other people. And usually it leads to jealousy. Comparison is the theft of joy. But you never know what’s happening in the lives of those people you compare yourself with. Find peace with yourself. Find the roots of this feeling, there is always a beginning. A lot of our comparison is actually delusional. The grass is always greener on the other side. You have to understand and let your mind accept this fact. Learn how to be sincerely happy for others and what they have or achieved. When you clap for others, there is always gonna be your turn. Instead of feeling envious when I see others achieving my goals, I've learnt to say, "Thank you, universe, for showing me my future." When you allow yourself to truly feel joy for someone else’s success, life becomes lighter. You stop feeding negative thoughts and start thriving instead of comparing. Envy can always be fixed.

I tried to do a makeup look inspired by Tim Burton. Немного не получилось, но я снова попробую…🌟

Don’t stop creating art. Whatever you make or want to - you do it for yourself. Not for your classmates, not for your friends, not for people who might judge you. For yourself. People on the internet might find themselves in what you do, and they’ll follow you. Think about that. We all are scared of sharing our thoughts and ideas with others, trust me on that. But fear is a part of progress. Post that scrapped edit, post that long text you put your soul into, post that drawing you made at 2am. You don’t have to be Picasso or Mozart to allow yourself to express yourself. Your art is valid. You put yourself into it, it took you time, and you made progress. At the end of the day, it’s better than sitting and doing nothing just because you’re afraid to be judged. Everything is cringe, so what? Don’t be scared to show yourself. Let people follow you, don’t hide because of the thought that “you’re not enough”. You’re enough. Don’t stop creating.

I miss her so much! :(🌟 My friend Anya is one of the strongest and kindest people i know, she truly deserves the whole world. Thank you for inspiring and supporting me, i’m so grateful to you. Love you, twin!🌸🎀

“Nothing matters” is an existential reflection. It’s about despair, standing face-to-face with the vastness of life and realizing how small everything feels. A weight that empties the future of shape, where each step falters and every choice unravels. This volume breathes the moment of losing yourself - when the world drifts away, and you begin to question everything you do.

VOLUME 1: Nothing matters.

We often find ourselves disappointed with other people. This is common in constant experience. We set high expectations for others, usually expecting them to be the way we imagined in our head, but when the reality hits, we are usually those ones who get hurt. But there is a thing that has to be always understood and remembered. People will never see the world with your eyes. They will never be you. They don’t feel things on the same level as you do and never will. They were raised differently, they have different families, they had their own original life experiences. The truth is humans are flawed, ALL humans are flawed. Whenever you put someone on the pedestal, you start to believe that they can do no wrong, but the truth is across the board. Everyone is flawed, and it's inevitable that at some point someone that you put on a pedestal will disappoint or hurt you. And i think that at times it’s okay to be disappointed, it’s okay to see the other side of the medal. If you're expecting too much out of people all the time, you will constantly be left disappointed, and it will make you unhappy and miserable, you will think that everyone in the world sucks. When you're open-minded about what comes to you, you will be left in a much happier headspace regardless of the outcome. I also think that setting expectations too high for other people can be a sign of some issue. In your mind, it could be a sign that you're relying on external sources for your happiness. Because when you’re the source of your own fulfilment, you're much less likely to create unrealistic expectations for others. Let people be flawed, let them be their own way, let them express themselves. Be open-minded, don’t put anyone on a pedestal, that’s when life will feel easier for you. It’s such a hard thing to learn, but it is needed to allow yourself to grow.

july — home 🌸 ₊˚⊹

I love getting to know people. I want to know everything about you: what you love, what makes you happy, what inspires you. Tell me about things that spark your eyes. Let me listen to your favourite songs and watch me learn more about your favourite artists so I can understand you better. Allow me to watch you playing the games you love. Share with me the dreams that have stayed in your memory for a long time. Let’s watch your favourite films together, and explain to me why they caught your eye. I will never turn my back on you just because of the way you are, I promise.

Little Women (2019) Some of my favourite scenes from my favourite film. I’ve noticed that whenever I watch something that sticks in my mind, it sincerely inspires me. I love art! :(

No revenge, because i have the purest soul. No revenge, because I am the love I give, not the love I receive. No revenge, because my heart is tender and remembers only the moments that felt like light. No revenge, because my heart was made to cherish beauty, not to hold on to pain. No revenge, because i know what it feels like, and i don’t want to put people i cared about through this. No revenge, because I want to move on. No revenge, because I would’ve never done that to you. No revenge, because I will be forever the most loyal and loving person. If you decided to treat me badly and do me dirty - that’s your loss, not mine.

Vienna photo dump.🛒🪷🌟

Got a bad feeling that I'm about to break. Been a good streak, but the pressure's overweight. Is it even good for my head to keep track? If I'm gonna snap necks, then I gotta snap back. Got a bad feeling I'm gonna lose the lead. Have I burnt all the bridges? Bite the hand that helps me, give it finger stitches. I have seemed to run out of excuses of why I am this way.

The truth is that childhood doesn’t end as soon as you “grow up.” It’s going to end numerous times over during your whole life. Every single time your pet dies. And once again, you’re 10 years old, losing your best friend. You’ll see someone you love in a hospital bed and understand what mortality really means. People who mean the whole world to you will pass away. You’ll understand that love, safety, and comfort aren’t guaranteed - they’re earned, and sometimes they vanish. You’ll never be “old enough” to stop feeling emotions the same way you did when you were a child. And every time it happens, it’ll feel just like the first. Like the ground disappears, like no one warned you. But you’ll keep going. You’ll carry all those endings with you. And maybe that’s the real growing up - not the end of childhood, but learning how to live with its echoes.

🌟🌟🌟

Is it me, or have people become so angry and toxic? Whenever I go to the comment section, all I see are rude comments. People hate on everything now: clothes you wear, the way you look, music you listen to, the partner you choose. We have become hostages to our truth, refusing to accept any other opinion. People hate opposite genders to them; they openly show their disrespect, they openly say sexist statements, and it’s scary that it goes both ways. Since when do we hate each other so much? People are clearly losing their minds. They accumulate all this poison inside themselves and splash it out on others. They are very miserable. The truth is that you will always stumble over the same hatred that you sow in others. Envy, anger, toxicity, disrespect, the desire to offend others – you will forever remain hostage to these qualities if you do not look back in time. Maybe it’s time to stop hating on everything and blossom?