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i can't even get my current shit done, but my brain wants to start something else to forget about that shit, and i can't do that new shit either, so now i'm oversimulated and feel useless bc of it.
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i do really need an exciting event in my life but i'm lowkey afraid of new situations and can get overwhelmed easily af.
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- But we needed a new approach. The doctor had warned me that it would be bad, it was horrible. There was one attendant for perhaps fifty severely and profoundly retarded children.
- The ones that we saw were the most severely and profoundly retarded. There are thousands here like them, not going to school, sitting on the ward all day, not being talked to by anyone.
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4:28 a song that i can sing along. well, i'll just wait and track the soot-tracks home, and i can be alone.
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i've been waiting on anyone cause i don't belong, and i'm not even sure i know those words cause i've been waiting on anyone.
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and i've been waiting on everyone and i've been waiting on, cause i've been waiting on anyone to show up and throw me out of here.
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you have just heard about Johnny. he's been causing discipline problems here at Pennhurst, so they thought they would send him to Q2. we thought you would like to see where Johnny lives. Johnny, can you talk? - yes Do you like it here at Pennhurst? - no Why not, John? - um, it's—, it's bad Let me ask you this, John, do you remember living anywhere except Pennhurst? - no Do you like talking to the people up here? - yeah Why, John? - cause they like to talk to me How about the other kids, the ones that can talk, do they like to talk to you too? - yes Do you like to talk to them better than the kids up here? - yes Have you been talking more lately or less? - less Why are you here in Q2, John? - i did something i wasn't supposed to be doing. So they punished you and put you here? - yes
2:20 / sign, that i've been praying for a solemn augur, pure and true, to tell me what to do. untrue. god that i can settle for and spin my body in a long, slow arc, like how my problems are.
