tiny canvas

i wish i could have heard more about the hardships of my role models. because when the gap btw who i look up to and where i stand, how i am, feels too big, i start hating on myself for the incompetence. that’s when imposter syndrome creeps in and suffocate any hope out of me. if i ever get to have the privilege of becoming anyone’s role model, i’ll make sure to share as much of lows as i tell my highs. there’s nothing alpha about sounding invincible. what’s real alpha is a balanced tale of ups and downs.

before going to cornell and studying economics to go to wall st. because i just wanted to pursue prestige and money, i wanted to be an artist. i won several state competitions, and my mom’s side of family are all artists. dad’s side entrepreneurs. i feel good about what i do today because i love what i do. i’m a good mix of parents i’m proud to be a son of. shit gets hard. really hard at times. and i sit alone at night and cry myself to sleep at times. i wanna fuck everything and run away at times. but that’s just life. hardships are here to pass. just like the fleeting moments of joy. i feel blessed to be who i am today. i still love myself, and therefore i can do and be anything and anyone i want. been a long day. winding down.

motion is lotion. just keep swimming.

when the image of my ideal life feels close enough to touch, i feel like i can touch the sky. when i feel like it’s far away, my mind suffers. it’s not here to stay though. a lot going on. motion is lotion.

people who have never attempted to build and grow something at scale don’t understand what it takes to cold-start a nascent product. the urgency, desperation, and street smartness that it takes to even “have a shot.” by default, 99.99% of new consumer products are dead on arrival. i honestly only respect the words of those who have blood and dirt on their hands having attempted absolutely everything in their legal power to grow something. not much to learn from the saints who preach from the fake Olympus singing the song of “thou shalt be good and high ethos”

“everyone has a plan til they get punched in the face.” - mike tyson as a first time founder back in 2015, i thought i had to perfect my game plan, polish the craft, march out, and nail it with the first launch. after getting punched in the face, i’ve learned my lessons. instead of spending a week on a pixel perfect logo, now i “Dahl Lee” that shit. instead of coordinating a Press Release for a grand splash, now i launch as soon as possible. nothing teaches better than the real world. the cold, harsh reality that doesn’t give a shit about: - how pretty our app is - how fancy our deck is - how much money we raised it didn’t get any easier, but at least i now know what doesn’t matter, and focus on what could move the needle. took about 10 years to kill my ego and face the reality. a lot more to learn. a lot more to earn.

to dream again is to live again. this past few weeks have been the busiest i've ever been, but i feel alive.

eliminating loneliness is one of those sayings that sounds lofty but hard to materialize and execute. it’s a universal problem yet nebulous enough that it’s hard to define, productize, sustain and grow.

when running a startup, one of the biggest advantage = knowing at any given time your co founder is on the same page with you busting his/her ass. i’ve been in situations in the past when i had to drag them or annoy them to work harder. with the current startup, even though we failed 8 apps together, we know we both are busting our ass through ups and downs, learning and earning insights that unlock our next action. long ways to go, but we have plenty of runway, the app that just started soaring with insane momentum, and faith that we both will be working day and night trying hard to secure our win. long day. tired, but worth it. winding down

this past week launching perl (https://warpcast.com/perl) was an incredible rollercoaster ride. i like working on sunday night to prep for the week ahead. perl is my third startup, there have been success in the past but many more flops and failures. anxiety strikes me when i least expect it, but by now, i know that it’s not here to stay. as long as i keep moving, there is always a way. there’s something special with perl this time. really gotta push hard and make it count. it’s about time to shoot my shot. gonna wind down and sleep now

content <<< art content is the commoditized form of art that optimized to sell art is the ~original voice from within manifested art is far more binary in terms of outcome, but the successful ones not only make far more money but also gets the rare shot at influencing the very DNA of culture. what makes us humans.

for nearly a month i was enshrouded in low energy. recent few weeks feel fundamentally different. i’m full of energy again. entrepreneurs or anyone who’s got a dream to chase needs a purpose to fuel their persistence. external advice and meditation don’t quite eliminate that dip. they can fine tune and alleviate but can’t fix the root. good news is that these dips always. always pass. cliched but it truly is a mental marathon. we just can’t give up looking for shit. moving for it. waking up to inch towards it. another sunny day in LA, and i’m ready to fully embrace it today

sleep can make or break us. with deep sleep, good food, and workout this morning, i feel like i can walk on water today. humming along some great music at a sunny cafe. crafting my dream one word, one pixel, one code at a time. wishing everyone a strong start to the week

i can rarely ever take a mid-day nap, but feel sleep for a couple minute while reading at a sunny cafe. feeling energized and my mind can breathe again.

being a startup founder feels like being on a rollercoaster ride, but not for 10 minutes. 24/7. we dream, fear, ignite, falter, puke in the air, get covered with it on the way down, rise again near the sun. not gonna lie. there are many days i wanna just flip the table, say fuck it to everything, and just leave. but for the "image" i keep writing about. for the dream. i stay. i'm here for it.

one of my favorite social apps called warpcast has its own currency called “warps” it requires $25 worth of warps to create a subreddit like community. yesterday, i raised a “warp round” (people donating their warps) to pay for an investor warm intro channel for founders on warpcast. a tribe-specific currency can be interesting beyond means of transactional value absorbing a lot to distill this into what we design https://warpcast.com/~/channel/pollenround

there’s this image i got in my head - of the best version of my life. dream. family. love. i have it all in that image to a limitlessly elevated state. when i’m feeling up, that image mixes with reality. it feels close. i can almost touch it. i’m the best version of myself. the confident main character who i am meant to be. when i’m feeling down, i am unknowingly distanced away from the image. i grow forgetful. i feel ok, but not ignited with something that gives life its meaning. i grow bored yet anxious. gonna be at my fullest tomorrow and sleep well tonight. for the image.

title: the image today was a very special day for me. for the first time in months,i started seeing the "image" in my head again. i thought about what may have been the beautiful catalyst. the biggest difference i noticed is the resurrection of dream and confidence. and things i myself, even numbers aside, feel proud of. i close my eyes, and i can imagine the best version of my life again. i live at my own home next to my family, with a beatiful view. i can visit my parents whenever i want, and my best brother also lives right by me so we hang out almost too much. i'm with the love of my life, we cook a lot. we have beautiful children and a puppy as their childhood friend. i'm fulltime working on my dream projects, helping other founders on the side. during my down days, this important image i work towards gets blurry. i snapped out of it today. and i'm liking this new reality. just like my body needs food to keep it alive, my soul needs dream to feel alive. time to run again

going on an experimental evening walk. just a tiny monologue about the past pivots, and how i got the spark back for the 9th app we just started working on.