Bibliophile Idiots

When I love, I love deeply. It scared him, The intensity— And hence, he left.

मैंने गुस्सा करना नहीं, बल्कि पीना सीखा है। मेरा लाल लहु क्रोध की कोई मधुशाला जान पड़ता है। बरसों से बटोरती आ रही हूँ इस ज्वाला को, अब यही मुझे जलाकर भस्म कर देने को आतुर है। मैंने छोह रूपी इल्ली को अपने स्तनों में ठहरने का स्थान दिया, कोमल हाथों में पत्तों-सी पनाह दी, खुद की खाल कुरेद कर इसे बैठने को एक घर दिया। तापमान बढ़ता गया, ग्रीष्मलहर भी आ गई; गुस्सा गरम मोम की तरह पिघलता गया और मैं जलती रही, सिसक भी ना सकी आँसू छलकाना कमजोरी समझती रही। नादानपन से ही मेरे भीगे नयनों की कीमत किसी कौड़ी से भी कम थी, मुझे रोना फिर भी लाजमी ना लगा। मैं बिखरती गई, दिन ढलता गया अन्दर ही अन्दर बांध टूटते मुझे गए; मैं फिर भी बेहद हठी, मैं ठहरी एक मामूर मामूली-सी स्त्री थोड़ी चोट खाने से क्या ही होगा? औरत हूँ ना, जहर भी पी लूँ तो क्या कुछ होगा ? कैलेन्डर बदलते गए, क्रूरता बढ़ती गई। इल्ली अब ककून में तब्दील हो मेरी श्वास-नली में आ अड़ी है, कंकर-सी कठोर । मेरी साँसें अटकने लगी हैं- इस बेहया ने मेरे बदहाल बदन को नोचने से पहले सोचा तक नहीं, मैं ही बावरी बन बैठी रही, जहर पीती रही, वो रिश्ते बचाने को, जिनका आज कोई मोल नहीं। #hindi #Mishtiwrites #wrath

1 June, 2025 Dear mom,

I see your patience running thin and your suppressed wrath peaking out. Mom, please. I know that I am just a child but yours. So, please come to me like I never could- with raw wounds, with blood red wrath and with all your defeats painted in alabaster. I love you!

#Mishtiwrites #letterstomom

Poetry belongs to the unbelonged. Poetry belongs to the feelings unsaid, Lovers adorned with amber affection and Loners lingering in the lonely no moon nights. To every pearl that the welkin loses, To every observer and their muses, To each crown and a lot of bruises, To the deep dirty crimson that oozes, To apathy, abolishment, abhor, abuse, And barbarism that the human brews. Where emotions turn into realms, Larger than the domains of times, And depth overpowers the spaces, Poetry is born, and there it thrives. #poetry #Mishtiwrites

The Mirror and You

Days pass in a spun-out frenzy, Your face holds that tender smile, That compelling curve over your Silken lips, a beacon of olive hope Throughout the long sombre day. But the facade fades from the Sneaking of the dainty moonlight Your room with such elastic ease, With the intent to see you real raw, Unbiased, unfazed o unexpectant. You see it in the mirror, how your Smile drops the moment you let Your blurred emotions free and How your russet orbs now seem To only whisper of dark dark woe. Sadness sits in your iris, her home. Wrath breaks things within you, Your breasts feel its fervency. Injustice, vengeance, betrayal, And violence flumps on your bones, Cumbersome and unshakeable. But so does the sanguinity swim In your tender lymph. The grace, The generosity, the giddy kid's Smile when they see you, and The green green plants in your Little garden bubble joy and Faint hope in your pristine blood. Your skin sheds, you unstitch your Wounds and pat languid love, slowly. You see it, at the midnight hour, Like nobody ever would, only you, The real raw truth beyond flesh.

#mirror #her #night

Defeat in her eyes, On and on she cries. Once rosy cheeks, Stained with creeks. Sulken undereyes, A testament of the Tough dark nights. The same eyes smear With too much pain Now, for a kid to bear. An academic failure, Just one, but it kills Her, shatters her. Questions, whys, The missed prize, The unpaid cries, The early mornings, The sleepless nights. Cancelled plans, Ghosted friends And hobbies that Once gave her home. All for nothing? Is failure so cruel? Or is it the fate? The school system? Or just something, Some speck about her. She doubts herself, Thrown off the shelf, She sobs on and on, Like a sad song on loop.

#her #failure

As the dreary dusk glows red, She sits with her sick child Cradling him closer to her chest, Wrapping him in gentle chiffon. A little life about to bloom, but Stuck in a state of total turmoil. Her husband, doning the combat Uniform bravely on the battlefield. The nation's name, her whole world, Akin at stake; turbulence, a constant. She prays on and on, to all gods, as Death and war hangs on the black Attenuated thread of uncertainty.

09/05/2025 #war #Mishtiwrites

In an another universe, I reverse roles with my mom, She lives as me and I get to Taste her trauma, as closely As she did. I get to see this World from her timid russet Irises while she carries the Ghost of my fears in black Pupils. The thought makes My frail body shudder, I can't- I want to live in her flesh and Bones and listen to their tales, The ones that never made even The slightest whispers to anyone. But I don't want her to live the Horrors that I did, the ones that She was safe from, a part of me Would never want her to know About my toughest battles, No matter what resentment sits Between our quiet everyday life. What mother would want to See how so much hatred and Indifference was planted in her Once sweet and kind child? In fine, I just hope that in that Universe, we try to understand One another better and the Unspoken bitterness wanes.  #mother #daughter #Mishtiwrites

He is like those April birds, Who await the transition to Sweet summers after fragrant Spring has passed through. Birds get back to their home, After the winters are all gone. Likewise, he uncovers himself Splattering smiles at the dawn. A heartwarming presence, A true summer baby. His gentlemanly demeanor, Mom's teachings maybe. His smile shimmers as sun, Oh, such a tulip he is! May lord shower him With never ending bliss. #Aprilborns #him #fmbro

My heart is filled up to the brim With unending affection for you, But every time you yelled at me, Every time your hand rose over My skin and your words slapped Me harshly right over my frowns, I bathed in nostalgia of torrid Past traumas. Nightmares of Red red violence, nails of abuse Digging into my flesh too hard, And the ghosts of grey anxiety Returning to me once again, Revolving around me in circles, Their wan hands baleful to Grab ahold of my fragile neck. I wanted to stay, to hope for A miracle, for you to change- But none of my nerves have It in them to re-live the terror. My bones are too tattered to Take even a spoonful more of Unjustified disrespect, abuse And garnet brute blood. So, I take a leave now. To never ever Look back, I breathe out my bye As silently as I can, chanting peace.

#abuse #anxiety #toxiclove #her

Moon keeps me company When the dark hour of The musky midnight hits, And the gosammer clouds Of rusty loneliness envelope Me in their supple arms, the Moon keeps me company. A true pearl, a true companion. He stays up for as long as I do. Fatigue fades away when the Moonlight hugs me close. Pink Placid pretty little pearl that Has half of my heart. His smiles Hold conversations. Hushed Rhymes, his presence murmurs. He hums lullabies till my lids shut, Off to a sweet summery slumber. By: @Medico_mishti #twentynine #poetrymonth

Hope is greed, and Acceptance is love. Call me mulish, bland, But for you, dear dove, I would hold onto hope, Be selfish for your love.

 #forhim #love #dove

I step out at midnight, The sky dark, the breeze Cool on my ivory flesh. The fresh air smells of Freedom, a luscious luxury. Goosebumps bloom like Spring on my supple skin. One. Then, two of my tender Steps. I want to run with all My might but I hesitate. Uh- The stars smile at my fragile State, almost mockingly. Every inch of my skin longs To get lost in this little walk; My mind a fumbling mess, Whispering of the worst Possibilities to me, the man- The monsters. Terror and Trauma takes over me. I want to be free, tears Cascade down my cheeks As my mind and muscles Stay in denial. The night sky, The mighty air and the trees Shine freely, a sharp contrast To what goes on in my withins. I turn back, rush to my room And close the door. Sigh. Would I ever go on midnight Walks without draping defences?

#her #Mishtiwrites #night #stars #fear #freedom

On nights like these, When sleep seems like A fleeting memory to my Tired eyelids, I think of you. I imagine that the air brings Your essence closer to me, You caress my hair soothingly So the tension in my head Begins to ease. Your gentle Touch, a rejuvenation to my Fatigued flesh! A soothe- I imagine you lying beside Me, so close that the pink Warmth from your skin starts Seeping into that of mine. I long to be held in your arms Until my effervescence smells Just like that of yours, until we Melt, uncover and remould. My heart aches but consoles Me all the same for the lack of Your presence. I wonder if you Think of me when you lay on Your baby blue sheets to sleep, As desperately, devotedly as I do. #forhim #Mishtiwrites #longdistance #love #night

He was a March baby, all pleasant, But his life was like a chessboard. No, he was not the puffed up king. He was a pawn, the one who is Not the protagonist in the lives of People around him, but in his own Little lugubrious life. He holds the Strength to stand up again, after Falling once. His hale heart only Contain whispers of 'Keep going'. He might not be the smartest, The fastest, the most influential, But still holds on to perserverance, Undeniable confidence visible in His strikes and utmost resolve. He mignt not be the only one, But he is a star, an only star of His kind, with his unique shine. I hope that every constellation That you ever become a part of, Makes you feel accepted, loved, Cherished and welcomed candidly.

#Marchborns #Mishtiwrites #chess #stars

We don't talk anymore, but you're the one I still think of when life offers me moments of joy. We don’t see each other, but you're the star I always look for in the vast sky above. We don’t walk the same path together, but you’re the nest this little bird still longs to find. We no longer share moments, but you’re the constant my heart endlessly craves. You no longer sing for me, but your melody lingers in every passing breeze. You don’t wipe my tears anymore, but they’ve all dried in the weight of your despair. I can no longer feel your warmth, but you’re the raindrop the desert desperately longs. I don’t hear your name often, but my heart calls it out on every dark and lonely night. We’ve become strangers now, but I wish you were a stranger I‘d never met.

Talking Back She asked me about why do I keep my problems to myself And never want to share them. I simply shrugged my shoulders Thinking of the letters in my shelf. She is my mother, a vital soul for Me, but no longer my close person. I grew up as an adult child. No, not The manchild. But the womanchild, Who faces it all, the one who listens. I no longer want to burden you With the trail of my torrid trauma. Silences became my safe space, After finding how hollow people are, I would rather break in solitude's aroma. I can't seem to fathom the courage To talk of my feelings, that I lack- Not when they are never truly heard, For whenever I tried to say it all, It was taken as talking back. #parenting #daughter #mother

Marry a man who makes you Feel like a woman, who brightens Your feminity and lets you wear It proudly like some diamond crown. Not the ideal lady that the society Projects- the timid one, the shy One who is always soft spoken, Dresses elegantly, never yells, Has no say in household decisions, Is wrapped with golden chains of Restrictions, who always smiles, Soaks up her wrath and listens To everyone like a damsel in sheer Distress, just dolled up for doom. But the fearless gorgeous woman, who is Not afraid to dream as crazily as a child, Whose self esteem rises above criticism From opinions of people who do not matter, Who admires wildflowers and messy art, Who does not tolerate any disrespect, Who is not afraid of stating her needs, Boundaries and emotions; the one Whose blood is but full of youthfulness, Bravery, imagination and resilience. Marry the man who watches you break Free of your restraints, with admiration In his eyes. The one who brushes your Feathers so you can soar, as high as you Wished for. Love, respect, trust, smiles, Understanding and warmth shall blossom, When you marry the man truly meant for you.

 #advice #her #love #strength