lonewoft

to the people who are emotionally sensitive, who care so much about everything no matter how hard they try not to, who notice even the smallest things and take everything to the heart, the struggle is valid. i hope you get surrounded with people who are kind enough to understand you. and even if you can't expect everyone to adjust for you, i hope you get extra patience from this world. -Kylie Yzobelle

I owe myself an apology. For all the times I promised to forgive myself, only to bring it up again later. For clipping the wings of my own dreams before they ever had a chance to take flight. For thinking so little of myself at the very moments I should have been standing up for myself. For the lies I swallowed while starving for truth. For believing that all the glass I walked on as a child was ever my fault. For withholding the same grace and second chances I so freely give others. For allowing the world to convince me that my heart was both too much and not enough. For all the days wasted pretending to be someone I hoped you would accept. For not living my life more on my own terms, simply because I was afraid of making a mistake. For punishing myself for far too long. For believing love was bloody and painful, and that I didn’t deserve better. For every time I looked in the mirror and hated who I saw. I could sit here listing every reason and way I was wronged by others, but maybe more than anything, I owe myself an apology for not valuing this one, beautifully precious life of mine enough to know I’m worthy of greatness, the very best of everything. And for that, I am sorry. J. Raymond "Apology Accepted"

“Note to self: Nobody is worth stressing over. Move on. It’s ok to leave people behind. Go find yourself. The world is yours. Life goes on.”

i open my eyes and sit down, marvelling at the melting sun. the kids keep on laughing. the salty sea wind continues to sweep across the shores. — Rae Pathak, moving on.

"well then, aren't you tired of yourself?" the waves crash against each other. the smell of salty sea air, cool wind in my hair. "why do you keep having the same conversations for years? when are you going to change? how much are you going to regret? are you never going to stop?" i shut my ears. the faint sound of waves lapping on the shore remains. "what if your life passes you by and you never learn? what if you die carrying these heavy regrets?" maybe i'll run, i think. i stand up and run barefoot in the sand. it's tiring. "how long are you going to run? someday you'll run out of places to run to." i stop and look around. if i hide, will someone come to find me? are they even aware of my presence or my absence? only if i had a time machine.... "who can guarantee that you won't have any regrets then?" at least, i would have less regrets. at least, i would not be the worst person to sabotage myself. then, maybe... maybe, i could have saved my soul. "but wasn't it you who made mistakes? how do you know you won't make any in future? how do you know you won't be responsible once again for your own heartache?" i walk towards the lapping waves. the laughter of kids echoes. then what should i do? "move on." easier said than done. "you are so miserable because you keep living in your yesterdays. aren't you tired of looking back at things that cannot change? people are complex creatures. yet, you keep comparing yourself to others, and your own past self. it is not that easy. your situations are different." i close my eyes and breathe slowly. "be careful of your mistakes but don't let it cast shadows on your future. if you keep living in the past, nothing will change. someday, you will come to mourn this day, too. you will come to mourn everything. in order to move on, you need to leave. there is no arrival without departure. you must live in the present."

You will understand when you get older that pain must be experience. More than once, your heart will be broken, and each time it will hurt worse. You'll hurt people so much that you'll isolate yourself and come to believe that it's best to be alone yourself. Because you'll feel that time is flying by too quickly, you'll experience those restless nights and endless meltdowns. Love, don't be frightened to show your vulnerability. You get to see everyone's genuine colors, which is the nicest thing about the worst days of your life. Because your darkness is a hint that a light is waiting for you, don't be scared to be open and vulnerable and never run from it. — Balt Rodriguez

And one just wants to live quiet days, Prevent sudden heartbreaks, And to realize her dreams that she seeks, And may the days pass in peace.

“I want to explain how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I’m being drowned by some kind of black wave.” ~Elizabeth Wurtzel // All I wished for, was for you to be gentle and to be a little kind when I told you that I was tired, instead of telling me that I was going to crush the world by giving up - when all I needed was for you to sit beside me and comfort me with your silence - M.

I don’t know whether you feel it too. But it’s kind of heavy, you know. It all gets a little heavy in the environment around you. You feel the heavy air around you. The surroundings seem dull. There is no vibe, no energies, just numbness. And people just seem irritating, everyone. Even a hello is like “Oh God, no, why?” You just want to be left alone and suffer that silence yet again. You don’t want to share how you are feeling because you tried once and it sucked. People don’t get it. It’s you and you alone who have to fight this. It gets so hard to enjoy even your favorite songs. It’s like your soul has forgotten those lyrics, that beat. Your favorite food does not hit you the same anymore. You have become someone else. And that’s the journey now, to find out what you have become, why, and for how long. I am on that journey now. I am on my way to find myself again. ~ Rahul Kaushik

I am a happy person, you know. I would be the last person on earth to crib and cry about life. But lately, I have lost my spark. I hardly laugh. And I just fake that smile. It’s been going on for a while now. Earlier, I ignored it as some sort of weird mood swing. But it is growing, daily. And daily I feel more and more withdrawn, more tired, more confused, and more sad. And more than sadness, I am getting frustrated because I don’t know the exact reason for this change. I can’t pinpoint a person or an event. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s just so weird for me to be sad. How can I be sad? But I have realized that sadness can hit us all. The reasons can be small or big, or no reasons at all. We hardly understand life and emotions. We just try to make sense out of things. And sometimes, nothing makes sense. And I have accepted that I won’t be able to understand this mess. I can just embrace it and fight it. Or I can just give up. And I have given up at times, to be honest. I did resign to my fate. I did fall weak. I did curse God. I did cry helplessly. But then, I was never a loser. I can’t just quit on life. So here I am writing it all down, trying to make some sense out of this crazy feeling.