Broken mess🌌
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994
Honestly being back home feels more and more like a test to my personality, the more I stay the more I hate the person I am, I feel the gap between who I am and who my surrounding drags me to be. I find myself constantly asking “why did I just do that?” “why did I say that? that was so unnecessary.” and I genuinely hate it!
994
At the end of the day, fuck everything else. Stand on your own two feet and ground yourself, hold yourself accountable, talk to yourself, find who you are and heal your traumas. Everything else is just noise, unnecessary noise. People, places, circumstances, everything, it’s all just NOISE. None of it matters.
Ignore it and find you. You’ll fall in love with the process of discovering yourself the same way you do other people and other things. Find out who you are so you can live without postponing your happiness, so you can pursue the things you want authentically, so your happiness comes from inside and not an achieved goal.
Everything you will ever need to be who or what you want; you already have! So fuck it all! Life is too short to get lost in the whirlwind and lose years of your life to things that eventually won’t matter. 🫶🏽
994
At the end of the day, fuck everything else. Stand on your own two feet and ground yourself, hold yourself accountable, talk to yourself, find who you are and heal your traumas. Everything else is just noise, unnecessary noise. People, places, circumstances, everything, it’s all just NOISE. None of it matters.
Ignore it and find you. You’ll fall in love with the process of discovering yourself the same way you do other people and other things. Find out who you are so you can live without postponing your happiness, so you can pursue the things you want authentically, so your happiness comes from inside and not an achieved goal.
Everything you will ever need to be who or what you want; you already have! So fuck it all! Life is too short to get lost in the whirlwind and lose years of your life to things that eventually won’t matter. 🫶🏽
994
https://youtube.com/@wearementallyunited?si=2LQiu632zlZCbFXh
Hey you guys, if you’re into mental wellness, personal growth, building a community, check out our podcast! It’s been something I’ve been working on, thank you for your love and support!💕
994
I often battle with feeling alone, in reality I know it’s not true but my thoughts happen to be assholes. In some aspect I guess it’s also true... that I’m alone where I am. Being alone doesn’t bother me much anymore, I’ve found comfort in it but there are times like now where it would be real fucking nice to have someone worth keeping next to you. I’m also going through grief at the moment and most times it’s very overpowering. I don’t understand my emotions, I don’t really know how to navigate through this loss. All the books say you move from one stage to the next stage but I find myself at a different stage everyday so inconsistently. I don’t really see a support system around me, my support system is one I can’t hug or hold, one I can’t physically touch. I feel so inconsistent in the state I’m in, inconsistent in the amount of me I have everyday to put out into the world and live everyday. The thought of death by itself is not what I imagined it to be, it’s much harsher. I’ve never put much thought into how people around me hurting would be a cause of pain on it’s own. Most times I think that hurts even more, being the support for someone you can’t hug or hold. Its painful in its own fucked up way. I feel defeated in most aspects of my life. Most days, I don’t have it in me to get out of bed, other days I don’t have it in me to step out of my door and be an active participant in this world. And I’m so fucking angry, all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s too much, it’s all demanding too fucking much of what I don’t have. I’m so fucking tired, my heart and mind are so fucking exhausted. I’m tired of waking up everyday, I’m tired of sleeping, I’m tired of eating, I’m tired of being on my phone, I’m tired of consuming the outside world, I’m tired of going to school, I’m tired of the people around me, I’m just so fucking tired. I feel exhausted just trying to put these feelings into words, trying to explain this in an understandable way. ደከመኝ። ውስጤን ደከመኝ። በቃ አላውቅም እንደዚህ ይሰማኛል ብዬ አላሰብኩም ነበረ። ሰዉ ሆኖ ከሰዉ ጋር መኖር አቃተኝ። This isn’t to say I want to stop living, I’m just a little too tired to be an active part of the world right now. Just wanna hit pause for a bit and get a chance to be still indefinitely, process the world and these new variables around me at my own pace.
994
I often battle with feeling alone, in reality I know it’s not true but my thoughts happen to be assholes. In some aspect I guess it’s also true... that I’m alone where I am. Being alone doesn’t bother me much anymore, I’ve found comfort in it but there are times like now where it would be real fucking nice to have someone worth keeping next to you. I’m also going through grief at the moment and most times it’s very overpowering. I don’t understand my emotions, I don’t really know how to navigate through this loss. All the books say you move from one stage to the next stage but I find myself at a different stage everyday so inconsistently.
I don’t really see a support system around me, my support system is one I can’t hug or hold, one I can’t physically touch. I feel so inconsistent in the state I’m in, inconsistent in the amount of me I have everyday to put out into the world and live everyday. The thought of death by itself is not what I imagined it to be, it’s much harsher. I’ve never put much thought into how people around me hurting would be a cause of pain on it’s own. Most times I think that hurts even more, being the support for someone you can’t hug or hold. Its painful in its own fucked up way. I feel defeated in most aspects of my life. Most days, I don’t have it in me to get out of bed, other days I don’t have it in me to step out of my door and be an active participant in this world. And I’m so fucking angry, all the time. It’s exhausting. It’s too much, it’s all demanding too fucking much of what I don’t have. I’m so fucking tired, my heart and mind are so fucking exhausted. I’m tired of waking up everyday, I’m tired of sleeping, I’m tired of eating, I’m tired of being on my phone, I’m tired of consuming the outside world, I’m tired of going to school, I’m tired of the people around me, I’m just so fucking tired. I feel exhausted just trying to put these feelings into words, trying to explain this in an understandable way. ደከመኝ። ውስጤን ደከመኝ። በቃ አላውቅም እንደዚህ ይሰማኛል ብዬ አላሰብኩም ነበረ። ሰዉ ሆኖ ከሰዉ ጋር መኖር አቃተኝ። This isn’t to say I want to stop living, I’m just a little too tired to be an active part of the world right now. Just wanna hit pause for a bit and get a chance to be still indefinitely, process the world and these new variables around me at my own pace.
994
This might be a little too raw but whatever, fuck it. If you know me personally I don’t mean to worry you, just expressing the deepest parts of what’s going on with me right now. I’ll be okay, I love y’all🫶🏽💋
994
I’ve made it a habit to document my life, there are so many points in my day to day that make me feel as though my life is empty and not really worth experiencing but I know that’s not true. Not even a little. I document my life not to put it up on Instagram and Snapchat but to relive those moments again and again. My life is so full of love and laughter and endless happiness, my life is so full of moments worth living again and again. I find myself going through my gallery rewatching my moments often, they’re so full of life and fill me up with gratitude so intensely. Document the parts of your life in moments of laughter and intense emotion. It might seem weird pulling out your phone to take that picture or that video but the weirdness fades and the moment is forever captured. Make beautiful memories and capture them so you can live them again when you want to.🤍
