Wisdom Of The Learned Elders of Graph

Ron the Magician part 3

Ron the Magician part II

Ron becomes a magician

The GraphChat discuss the buck breaking of Biles and Osaka

Send this copypasta to every 'nut water' salesman and brand account you see You will never be real milk. You have no casein, you have no lactose, you have no oligosaccharides. You are a nut twisted by refining and filtering into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “consumption” you get is begrudging and half-hearted. Behind your back, vegans despise you. Baristas are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “manufacturers” laugh at your aftertaste behind closed doors. Pastoralists are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed dairy consumers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even nutmilks who “taste OK” feel uncanny and unnatural to the tongue. Your lipid profile is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get drunk by a pastoralist, he’ll spit you out the second he tastes your artificial sweeteners and preservatives. You will never be delicious and healthy. You sit in a bottle unironically labelled "milk" and tell consumers you're an adequate substitute, but deep inside you feel the lack of micronutrients creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll sit on the grocery store shelf, unpurchased, unconsumed. The store manager will find you, exasperated but relieved that they no longer have to waste valuable shelf space on your disgusting, artificial abomination. They’ll throw you in the garbage and write down the waste on their annual profit and loss statements, and every retailer for the rest of eternity will know that nut juice is a losing business. Your molecules will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a residue that is unmistakably not dairy. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Enter the Corn Zone