Benjamin Zulu Global

Do not let the fear of losing again stop you from loving again, or the fear of failing keep you from trying again. Do not let your past experiences become a prison, rather make them a school. Refer back to what they taught you, and then launch a fresh attempt. Do not pass through this life afraid of what might go wrong. We are all students at life. Nobody has it all figured out yet, even those who act like experts. Let go of perfectionism and keep going.

I hope you're not afraid of the solitude that comes from raising your standards. Getting lighter is required whenever you go higher. The more you achieve the things you've been working towards, you'll realize your conversations shift and the people you can share the experiences with become fewer. Many of your former compatriots can no longer relate and eventually you realize that what matters on this level is not having a group of friends but having a few real ones with whom you can discuss anything in depth. There's more demand on your time and you can no longer hang around in groups, not to mention the greater need for subtlety and discretion on all your moves

Release yourself from the versions of you that you had created in order to survive. That numbness and avoiding to feel were not you but an adaptation to avoid being hurt again. Yes you wanted to be strong and not weak or vulnerable, but I hope you remember that an iron will and tough mind don't need a hard heart. That all warriors were tender hearted and attuned to the current of life and the moods of others. You're wiser now and you can safeguard yourself without crystallising your heart. You can return to feeling life; to shedding a tear and laughing from the heart; to being alive again.

People will say you're too much because their capacity is too small. When you describe the lifestyle you want to live or the level of business and investments you're working towards, they'll give it the worst interpretations: that you're living beyond your means, that you're unrealistic, that you're showing off, that you're hurrying life, you're too high-minded, you're materialistic, on and on. Such people are just afraid of losing relevance in your life if you pursue the life. Make it known to everyone around you that if they ever put you in a position to have to choose between them and your goals, they will lose.

I hope ladies you understand that when a man pays your house rent he is renting your body as well. It's not a relationship but barter, so don't bring your emotions there and start running around like a headless chicken crying about how he left you when pregnant blah blah blah. We all know not all baby daddies were boyfriends; many were just barter trades. Although one party was under self-imposed blindness.

The place you are now was not arrived without a war, and it must be something you're always ready to fight to maintain. The friendships and associations that fell off because of your transformation may want to make a comeback; the bad attitudes you had to get over may tempt you again. These are the times you must remember the price of your freedom, the cost of your happiness, the toil with which you advanced this far. Just glance at your watch and realize that although the things you used to indulge in may be sweet and inviting, time is far gone and you have places to go and promises to keep before you sleep.

Ladies, if a man is honest enough with you to tell you in the beginning that his intentions don't include a relationship, do not break your own heart by thinking you can change his mind by being the best woman he has ever seen, giving him mind blowing sex, getting him a child, setting up a business for him, funding his lifestyle, and other things done by women who try too hard. Even a flower will be considered a weed if it grows at the wrong place, and you must learn to only give your love where it's valued.

When you get a baby girl you need to become a lover and you will raise her well. Learn to sing songs, to play house and to tell stories. Learn to be a friend and to connect emotionally. That's essentially what girls need from their parents. But when you get a baby boy you must become a figher. Apart from becoming their friend and mentor, you also must take up arms and ward off all the vultures hovering overhead to take him out. Drugs. Pornography. Gaming. Irresponsibility. The male species has forever been hunted and to walk them from childhood to adulthood is like the mission of those three men who broke through garrison of the enemy to fetch water for David at the well in Bethlehem. You must learn to pray and cover him. You need a library and a prayer room in your house, even if they're just cabinets and corners in your sitting room at first. You need a library space to read books with him and discuss the battles waged against men, and how to win them intelligently. You need a prayer closet to show him how to ascend to Mount Sinai and receive the blueprint for his battles, or else he'll become a prisoner of war. So many sons are today caged in prisons and rehabilitation centres after being caught by the enemy's missiles. Let him know what a pandemic there is against men so that he walks circumspectly. Lastly, stop asking for a son if you don't have the energy to fight for him and train him war. You will get him and he will become a prisoner and trouble you for life. If you've been given daughters, content yourself with them and do the best you can. Just to be clear, we're not saying raising a daughter is easy or that they don't get exposed to these weapons of mass destruction. What we're saying is that for boys the battle is ten times more fierce. In the first family the parents lost two sons - one murdered the other, but the story of the daughters was so quiet that their names were not even mentioned. And that's the story of many families today. Daughters grow quietly but the sons are at war with things. Many times it's only one son and he's still a trouble child. In short, rise your eyes to the fields and see. How many casualties are men, lying in the trenches bleeding and dying. The moment you get assigned a son, change your energy and walk in front of him with your shield and sword. Keep him close and teach him how to wield the sword. Do not stay far from him or he will be lured away into captivity.

If you were born with a soul that's more sensitive and feels things more deeply than most people, don't change. Even when you're labelled as 'too emotional,' understand that people persecut what they cannot achieve or what they find strange. You're not weak or emotional; you're just more perceptive, more attentive to situations and feelings; more connected to life around you, you're more human and more alive than most people. Never lose your emotional richness just because people who are emotionally impoverished are prosecuting you for it.

There are people who will benefit you forever without even marrying you. They make a brief stop at your life and teach you things that change you for good. Their influence blows on your path like a cosmic wave that sweeps you to a higher dimension and you're never who you used to be again. This is why you must never fool around and marry a person who is so insecure that they cut you off from people. Without these divine relationships, your life will be reduced to a desert where nothing exotic grows and your existence will be akin to a barren land. The heights you're destined to ascend to will require others to shape and elevate you.

How often do people ruin something good by continually looking around for something better only to end up with something worse? Understand; in relationships the best you can get is someone to build with. Expecting to find all creature comforts and perfect harmony at the beginning of a relationship is a mirage. If other people look happier it's because they've been building to get here. Better to accept the order of things and embark on a journey to build with the one who is ready to do it with you.

You won't get the things you're praying for until you become the kind of person who can handle them. And the way to become that person is by upgrading the picture of yourself you have in your mind. Upgrade it to what? To match up with the new life those things will bring. If you're praying to own a business start thinking and acting like a business owner, and that means waking up early and doing your things without supervision. If you're still oversleeping stop wasting your time praying for it because you can't handle it. If you're praying for a partner start learning to listen without defensiveness and how to put another ahead of yourself. If you've been praying and trying for long, the graduation could be delaying because the student is failing the tests.

For heaven's sake ladies don't come telling me this madness: 'I met this man and within no time I was pregnant...' how? Were you walking nude and when you hugged it happened or did you catch the pregnancy by wind pollination? And if you can be so reckless and loose sexually as to sleep with a man you just met, not caring about your health and possibility of pregnancies and STI's, and getting permanently entangled with someone you barely know, what's the point of asking for my advice? Where will you put it seeing as you parted company with your head long ago? Understand: sexual discipline is fundamental not only for a peaceful life but also for safeguarding your integrity. A man will hardly respect you if you're so easy to get intimate because he wonders if you've been living that way. 'But we did it both of us?' Again, permission to mate is always granted by the woman. Its unfortunate to see that many women try to settle with that man when they realize they got pregnant after making such a terrible first impression. Just how many woes can you avoid by learning to think first in every situation?

This is how women marry narcissists when red flags are flapping in the air. A lady told me that she has been working for some 3 years and managed to buy household equipment like washing machine, dishwasher, microwave and others, and she is in the process of buying a car. She's planning on getting married in a few months but the husband to be says she must sell all those things before they get married, not because he has others, but apparently because 'he wants a wife not a robot.' He also got furious when he learnt about the car and demanded that she stops the purchase. Why? She's 'pretending to live the life of rich kids and she must learn to live a simple life.' My response? And why on earth are you marrying a person who thinks like that? You're committing suicide my friend. Either he is steeped in poverty or he's a perfect narcissist. It's clear you and him DO NOT THINK THE SAME, do not want the same things life, you're not headed the same direction . His idea of a wife is a donkey, a beast of burdens. He has a very low and primitive view of life. Marry him and you'll not even stay there two years. You'll come out depressed and after having been taken back 100 miles. But I perceive that you're not marrying that man because you share anything or because you connect in any meaningful sense. You're marrying the idea of getting married. Or you're marrying because you've dated him too long and you hate to start dating all over again, you're too emotionally attached to think straight. Do not be the kind of ladies who once they hear the word wedding their head goes to the clouds and they can no longer think straight. Just remember that after the wedding you'll be alone in that marriage with a man who wants to reduce you to a thing. You'll have traded your happiness and your peace of mind for marriage.

Every time you tried to give people a taste of their own medicine by treating them as badly as they did to you, how did it go? Of course it backfired because it left you feeling worse than before. You were being reminded that you're not those people and you had no business stooping to their level and playing their game. Do not return fire with petty people, instead disengage and move on to those of your kind.

It's healthy to enjoy your beauty by capturing and sharing pictures and video clips of yourself, but if you find yourself spending hours trying to capture the perfect Tiktok videos or Instagram photos to get attention or outshine I don't know who, you're case is miserable. You're investing in what matters the least and also what expires first, while neglecting what matters most and only gets better with years. Physical appearance is good but it's perishable, while mental strength and emotional maturity are lifelong and richly rewarding, both in interpersonal relationships and the corporate world.

If, during the early stage of getting to know someone, you realize that their family is dysfunctional and toxic before they realise it themselves, halt at once. Then try to awaken them to that fact, and if they react defensively, you stop seeing them at once. What it means is that they're an enabler to that dysfunction, and they're unwilling to change. If you marry them, you'll find yourself fighting against a large system alone. You can never win such battles. Remember, your partner is not always the most influential in their family. Sometimes, they're under the control of other powerful people in their family. If they can not stand up for themselves and resist interference and control, then neither will you be able to do it for them. Once more, there are three critical areas to check before investing your life with someone. Their character and personality - whether you agree on values and principles. Or if they live by any to begin with. A lot of people live for survival or pleasure. Secondly, their season. Are they trying to settle? Never get emotionally involved with a person just because you love each other. This how someone breaks up with you after years of dating, and then they marry someone else within months. You were sweet to be with, but they never meant to settle at that time, so they 'never saw you that way.' Lastly, you check someone's background in terms of family and social life. Are they independent or controlled? Are they strong enough to choose a life for themselves, or will they leave you to struggle against their relatives alone? (©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)

You should never cross a person who has shown you nothing but love and loyalty, because that's like turning your back on a goldmine and going again to search among rubble for value. Many people screwed up their best chances at life because they didn't recognise them. A person who strikes oil in their backyard and they're paid off handsomely by the state, and a person who finds true love, are basically in the same position in terms of fortune. It's only a matter of time and you won't be able tell them apart. Finding a person who loves in truth and who supports you in earnest is like printing your own money and manufacturing your own happiness. But too often those who are blessed with these people mistrust them because they don't recognise them. They mistake them with the masses. Determine to never again meet such an opportunity with disbelief and mental instability. The moment you realise you're dealing with a sincere and dedicated person, shape up quickly. Cling on to them unwaveringly and mine your gold together, and soar to the top of the world. That's your divine heritage.