Benjamin Zulu Global

If you're more hardworking and focused than most of your siblings, be far seeing and avoid building in your parents' compound. Something might happen to you and in your absence they come to scramble for everything you had and your family becomes homeless. It's better to obtain a land some distance away where they cannot walk into with any entitlement and then secure your family there. Remember you may have been friends while growing up but envy can set in because of your differences in achievement as grownups. Also, minimise how directly accessible you are to them especially when you begin to see signs of envy. People have been killed by the same relatives they continued to trust when they were already showing signs of animosity. And even if it doesn't get to death, some people can just begin to direct such bad energy towards your young ones, whether subtle mistreatment or even black magic, only because they can see your family upclose. That perimeter fence around your home and being at least out of sight does protect your family. As the good book says, man's enemies shall be those of his own household.

Getting out of bad relationships can be a roller coaster. It's not always immediately relieving and at first it can feel like going cold turkey from a drug addiction. There's anxiety and confusion. But as the days pass you begin to awaken as if from slumber. You begin to develop boundaries, self respect and you recapture the long lost ability to say no. You suddenly realise that you can stand up for yourself without suffering severe consequences. The lies that had held you captive begin to fall off and there's a new dawn. Your friendships regain authenticity because now you can filter people without the dread of rejection. Instead of running around absorbing and forgiving everything, you now only spend time with people whose behaviour doesn't force you to overlook maltreatment. These personal changes allow your spirit to thrive and looking back you cannot fathom how you had allowed yourself to be trampled under foot like that. You now jealously protect your peace and you're not eager to please anymore. You only want relationships where respect and personal freedom are guaranteed.

Once you get intimate with some people you'll need exorcism, many times. Culture has confused people into trivialising non-marital sex and calling it 'making love' when in fact it's often a transfer of demons. I have met people who completely had no history of depression or alcoholism or loose sex until they started sleeping with a certain person. There was a clear cut deterioration and they associated it with the stress of the relationship while in fact it was coming from transfer of the wrong energy. One guy said after the breakup with a certain lady he began to experience strong cravings for sex followed by deep guilt and suicidal thoughts after having sex with whomever he could find. A clear obsession he never used to have. And these kind of demons 'don't come out expect by prayer and fasting.' And most people who compromise in this area don't do it because they want to, but because they're made to think that it's normal. That's what people do when they're in a relationship. Ask yourself this: if you told someone that you're not getting intimate until marriage and they broke up with you, were they serious with you in the first place? You can never lose what was meant for you by standing on your principles.

Isn't it sad how often people try to find a soulmate before they find their own soul? You don't invite guests to your house when it's still under construction, do you? It's still messy and rugged and inhospitable. And so is your soul when you're yet to do your inner work. The feelings of love and desiring intimacy come pretty soon, and many mistake that for readiness. But don't we all desire money and cars and the benefits of a good job even before we're qualified for the job? It the same principle. We train for jobs through acquiring skills and knowledge in that field. And for most courses it takes at least 3 years of exclusive training. Love is the same. You need as much time to learn the theories of personalities, character traits, the constitution of lasting love, what the soul is, how emotions are created and controlled, the center and fulcrum of your being, the trajectory of your life, the purpose of your life and how your love life fits into all these. Love and matters of the soul are deep and sacred and it's deadly to jump into them ill-prepared and hope to learn on the fly. This is why we have so many people who have already given up on love because they entered the wrong way and got burnt. The good book says love is as strong as death and that we're to avoid arousing it before time. Yes, love cab cause death when mishandled. Death of dreams and desires, death of joy. 'Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.'

How to Write a CV That Makes Sense Stop writing 'I graduated in 2020 with second upper division.' So what? Everyone has papers nowadays. Say something more. That sentence should only be a subtitle before you write the real juice about your personal efforts and experience. Many of you have been asking where the 'five years experience' companies ask for will come from when you're just a fresh graduate. Many people will tell you that this condition is often flexible and they can set it aside in favor of someone who has exposed themselves during their study time. The same years you were in college can be the same years of experience if you employ them correctly. From the onset you must involve yourself in exposure and experiments. You should write things like: I did Bachelor of Commerce Finance option, and I also ran my own business by the side. Starting with two chicken which I purchased using my pocket money after form four, I was able to breed Kienyeji chicken and sell on weekends. Over the course of two years I had saved fifty thousand. My school work was getting more demanding so I stopped keeping chicken and I distributed the capital betwen bee keeping where I purchased two beehives and set them at my father's farm, and pig farming where I obtained two young pigs. By the time I graduated I had harvested three times from the two projects and despite hitches with management and conflict of interest where some money was diverted to family affairs without my express permission, I still managed to remain with six hundred thousand in my account. Find attached bank account statements proving the same.' Any manager will be highly impressed by this kind of story. Or you can say, 'I was studying teaching and by the side I was doing tuitions to private pupils. After one year I lost interest in tuitions and I used the twenty thousand I had saved to set up my podcast to teach kids difficult math problems online during school holidays and weekends. Within six months my audience had grown to an impressive ten thousand people, with average viewership for live sessions going to as many as 100 kids! At this point I was getting gigs at local radio stations to run their weekend children programs, and once I participated in a government commissioned program for distributing study materials to schools located in slums. Currently I teach basic French and German to pupils taking international curricular. Dind attached my testimonials from the organizations I worked with and parents whose children I handled.' Anyone hearing this will be keenly interested. In summary, the world cannot resist an aggressive person. Even when they cannot hire you they'll often compliment you. Do not just study. Run a parallel field exposure program of your own and it will give you a cutting edge. Imagine a law graduate who reports that he has, over the course of his study, volunteered in five different law firms where he helped I'm research and legal drafting and he has reports to show for it? Or a medicine student who says apart from doing her degree she would participate in community health and vaccinations in the villages during her spare time? Even when you don't have five years experience, these kind of exploits will put you ahead.

Men live in straight lines and when he's cheating he always gives off signs. Always. You should never believe these ladies who come up saying she discovered that her man had been cheating for years or even having a complete separate family. Such women are not really women in the truest sense of that word. They've never become seasoned. They sold out. Remember you have to be honest yourself in order to smell dishonesty from far. This kind of women are either the economically weak and dependant type that never built a life and they depend on this man for life, or the other emotionally dependant type. They're too afraid of facing existence alone and they opt to close their eyes just to stay with him. They cannot afford to rock the boat. This is also the type that goes around trotting that men are meant to be roamers, every man cheats, and so forth. Of course they use these sentiments to soothe their self-chosen misery. Others, however, argue like this knowing that distracted man is very easy to cheat on and she wanted her freedom to roam as well. She wanted the benefits of marriage and also the freedom of not being married. In truth, an awakened woman is nearly impossible to cheat on. She will get a nudge and a gut feeling even when she is hundreds of kilometres away. Whether she sets out to verify, and how wisely she approaches the whole issue is a different affair. A man who plans on cheating will look for a naive and unawakened girl and marry her before she comes to herself. He then conditions her never to question him. After all, cheating men use the same simple tactics: they build a stone wall around their communications with the outside world; they move far away in the pretext of job to be out of sight. Those in military and police can even dupe the gullible woman that his premises are out of bounds for civilians. Lastly, they damage her confidence, disempower her financially and keep her on a tight leash. From this weakened position she is voiceless and powerless. In summary, never settle down. The view is very bad down there and you will be at a perpetual disadvantage. Things will ambush you every time. Instead, always ascend and settle up. Take the pilgrimage of coming home to yourself before bringing anyone else in your life. Otherwise you may bring in someone who prefers the embryonic version of you which is blind and voiceless. So they may oppose your attempts to journey on to maturation. Having no muscles or clarity, you may succumb and remain in the dark cages of immaturity for good. This is not fiction but the fate of many who took lightly the incomparable importance to journey to their personal daybreak. So they walk around bound in internal darkness.

You don't go for counselling to address repeated cheating. The first time you addressed it was enough for them to mend their ways and correct if at all they cared about you and the marriage. If they go back to it that's not a mistake anymore but a lifestyle choice. You should go for counselling yourself alone but only to help you accept that you have no marriage and to reorganise your life. If you accept to be dragged into any supposed therapy or even sittings sessions with best couple or pastor, you'll be insulting yourself. You'll be persuaded to stay because outsiders can never understand your pain. The person will still go back to their ways and improve on their secrecy this time, so it may take you longer to discover. One clear sign is when a person who recently had betrayed you locks all their phones afterwards. They're back to it, but with more secrecy this time. Do not wait for diseases and depression. Just leave them to enjoy their life with many partners. Marriage is not for everyone.

If someone says they're sorry but you don't see them doing all they can to change what they're apologising about, that apology is not sincere. They just want another chance to continue doing the same thing. They're not ready to leave their behaviour. They're just 'managing you' so you can stay on. This is the same rule with people who hide truth from you saying 'I knew if I told you the truth you'd leave.' Genuine remorse begins with honesty and owning up. If they're hiding truth from you, they're far from changing. The time you discover it you must leave. You can never trust that person.

Once more, you don't go into marriage before you go into money or you will pay for it. When we say money we're not just talking about having savings in a bank, but building the ability to earn money. Marketable skills are your lifeline in this world. Not marriage or wife or husband. Stop listening to subdued women who lived for nothing except servitude and childbearing and they're inviting you into the same slavery. Or to malicious people who want you married at 18-24 because at that age you have no identity and no voice of your own, and so you agree to anything. Never leave college to get married. That's suicidal. Never even graduate and the next thing on your mind is marriage. That's like putting on the lights and then putting blinkers on your eyes. That degree or diploma gives you an opportunity to unearth yourself by living by yourself for two or three years and educating yourself about all aspects of life at that time. For ladies, you don't 'expire' or become 'hard headed' when you get to late 20's or early 30's being single. You just become self aware and informed about life, and so you're hard to manipulate and this is what society hates. You get to marry consciously and with the kind of standards you want for your life, as opposed to being pushed to a prescribed template of a marriage that reduces you into a caricature. But can't I get married first and grow from inside? That's like the chick coming out of the egg to get 'incubated' in the scorching sun. Some things have to just come first in life.

Do not look for money; it's not missing. And do not work for money; it's a terrible boss. Rather become the kind of person who commands money, who is obeyed by money. Wealth starts with knowing, then becoming, then doing. So it's not the kind of job you do or the type of business that brings wealth. It's the kind of knowledge you're consuming and the kind of person you're becoming. This way, you will attract money in any kind if market or industry You will make more money in comedy and selling jokes than another person is making in law or engineering, with all their professionalism. The classical best seller about wealth by Napoleon Hill is not called Toil or Work and Grow Rich, but Think and Grow Rich. You learn and think money-like, you become money-like, then you attract the money. How? By believing it, becoming it and asking for it. For example if today you sit on a panel where you have the opportunity to ask for a million shillings in salary you will run away because you know you're not up to that level. But if, starting today, you start learning everything you can about how to become a million shilling kind of staff, in a few years you may easily ask for it and get it. But most people don't want that circular route, so they stand at stare in frustration at others who have gone the full cycle. The people who 'know' their God shall 'be' strong, and 'do' exploits. (Daniel 11:32) Know. Become. Do. That's the law. Starting today, use some money to know. Stop using all the money to eat and the only thing you're becoming is heavier and lazier. 😏

There will be no new year if you bring the old you into it. The new year itself is only a block of time; an opportunity you're being given to do things differently this time round. A chance to be better. The first thing you must change if you want a new year is your perspective, or your point of view. If you stand close to something it appears large. You have three things right now that you can stand close to and enlarge them in your life. Your position or your current circumstances; your opposition or your enemies and your obstacle; and your disposition or your mental tendency to either fight or flee. Your position is your givens. Where you're standing, your current circumstances. The type of job, or relationship or money you have now. If you stand close to it and it becomes all you can see, you'll be discouraged and paralysed by fear. Your opposition is the obstacles in front of you. If you stand close to it you will get self pity and discouragement until you quit. Your disposition is your energy and your perspective. Whether you tend to keep moving or to give up and stop. Whether you have a tendency to advance despite opposition or to give up and gather alibis and explanations instead. Your disposition is your super power. You just need to lean towards trying, and believing, and winning. To decide that you will somehow win. This was the mindset of Napoleon Bonaparte, the greatest field marshall to ever live. He tried to win no matter the circumstances. He was viewing life from the disposition that 'it's possible. I only need to find a way. I will find a way somehow.' So he kept tinkering and trying and thinking around the problem. And so often he snatched victory from an already occurring defeat! That should be your attitude this year. Bring your mind to what you can do. Stand close to that, as opposed to dwelling on where you are and what is against you. Develop a bias for action and advancing no matter the circumstances. Attack each day with energy and optimism. If someone tries to talk fear and pessimism shut them down. Break friendship with fear mongerers and conspiracy theorists who like talking about who is scheming against you. 'The system is against us, the government wants us broke,, the banks are taking away our money.' Decide that this year will see a new you. You will author your life consciously. And then it will be a new year indeed.

They didn't forget to text you. Not if it keeps happening. They're just busy texting the one they're really interested in. They'll get back to you at their earliest convenience. I hope you don't mind waiting 😏

Sometimes, a man is very sweet to talk to, and he vibes with you so well, but he just never initiates anything. You're the one to call or text first, or else the silence will go on forever. But when you hit him up, he responds enthusiastically, and you proceed to have such a vibrant conversation that leaves you beaming and dreaming. He brightens your days. He clearly likes you just like you like him, and he expresses it during your flirtatious chats that sometimes run way into the night. And so you begin to get troubled as to why he never starts anything if he enjoys talking to you so much? If you're not careful, you'll make the mistake many women make: they fill the gaps and fall in love. And then they start complaining about how the man is 'poor in communication' after she has invested her feelings, her money, and her time there. And yet the man was like that from the beginning. The simple explanation is that this man likes you, but he's not choosing you. Simple. Perhaps because he is not in the space for a relationship now emotionally, or he has other things he's pursuing first, or he has someone else. He may never explain his reasons since you're not an insider in his life yet. But since you're a nice lady and he likes you, he will respond when you call. And if you visit him he'll be happy. And if you want to hang around or even sleep over, he can still welcome it, depending on the degree of principle and purity he's living by. Some men will be humane and merciful and stop you from getting too involved with them when they're not available for you. But many are not. They will happily exploit the opportunity when a nice lady falls for them without him pursuing her. She may even get pregnant for him, thinking he'll then choose her, but he only shuts her out more. In short, take the absence of communication as an absence of interest. Take mixed signals as a negative signal, and you'll escape many pitfalls.

I want the kind of loyalty where I can ask you to check for me who texted me, and I can bring you the phone when it's ringing. I want us to be able to watch funny clips on any phone the both of us and nobody is afraid of funny texts popping up. I want to get home and forget where I placed my phone because I'm catching up with you. I want to be free to doze off on the sofa and you can send the kid to bring me the phone when it's calling. I don't want a home full of unease and tension around phones. If a number is calling repeatedly and I'm in a zoom meeting I you should be free to pick or text and tell them I will get back to them. I want us to be true and easy with each other. I acknowledge that such freeness is not natural especially when someone has been in bad relationships before but I know if we want it we can cultivate it.

What if you were meant to be but you did it all wrong? You let ego take the place of vulnerability and connection. You pretended not to miss each other and you waited to see who would text first. You played hard to get just to enjoy the chase instead of pausing to study each other. You handled conflict with anger like combatants instead of handling it with compassion like compatriots. Your personal differences were supposed to enrich your union but instead you allowed them to create a rift. In the end egos won and hearts lost. Even what's meant to be requires humility and honesty. Never play with what you want to get established.

You know you've matured when you find joy in watching others shine. Even if it's your friend's or sibling whose breakthrough arrived before yours you only feel happy for them and not envy. The true test of greatness is whether you can watch the rise of another person and not feel jealous. This is why many people remain down because instead of learning from and cheering on their friend's success they seethe with envy instead. This makes it impossible to learn from the friends or benefit from their success because instead of celebrating together they try to sabotage them. When we graduated with our law degrees I took a detour to pursue a master's in counseling psychology which meant all my cohort who went for the Advocates Training Program would get into careers ahead of me. And sure enough, the career switch took me on a tedious five year spiral with no steady income and having to scrape to get by. One of my friends became a magistrate and was posted out of town but whenever he came around he would pick me in his car we drive around. We were about four guys and they all had made milestones like getting cars, furnishing their houses and even beginning to build their own houses while I still had nothing. But guess what? I looked forward to those meetings so that I can learn and see upclose that such kind of progress was actually possible. They also gave me very practical advice about assets and investments. Of course with time my career picked as well and I caught up but do you think I would have learnt as much if I was feeling a lump in my throat when I see them?

Sometimes during a moment of weakness you may find yourself having gotten in touch with the wrong person or even having planned a meeting. When you wake up from that stupor you must stop the interaction and cancel everything at once. It was just a mental slumber during which you lost touch with your emotions then they ran wild. Youre not to worry about 'keeping the promise' when you shouldn't have made that promise in the first place. Stop letting moments of madness take you back to places you fought so hard to get out of.

Stop keeping tabs with people you're trying to heal from. Healing requires separation but your feelings and insecurities tempt you to look back and see where they went to after leaving you. Who they're with and if they miss you. What you forget is that this person no longer cares about you and they if they learn that they still have your audience they can do things just to hurt you. There's no point even in 'remaining just friends.' After crossing the line of romance you cannot go back to neutral friendship, and if you reopen those doors you'll just be hurting yourself. Feelings of revenge and getting back can also make you start stalking your ex. But remember the maxim that whoever goes after revenge must dig two graves because they, too, will be a victim.

Too often people are attracted to you because they see how you're handsome or beautiful and at peace. They adore your calm way of life and if you're not careful you can fall for their charms and leave your space to go down to them. But the critical question is whether they are able to create for you the same kind of peaceful environment they found you in? Many of them have never created that kind of serenity in their life and they don't know how. So you're the one to discern it. You're the one who knows better and you have more to lose. Always remember how much work it took you to achieve the peace you now enjoy and never risk losing it by merging your life with someone who doesn't know peace. One who is yet to do their journey. They will rob you of your peace because their own life lacks it. If someone is addicted to alcohol or gambling, or sex, they have no peace. They're a powerless captive. If you step down to be with them you'll be immediately sucked into their chaos. If someone is still bleeding from past pain they don't know peace either. They cannot give you what they don't have.

If a man shows you that he genuinely loves you don't make him chase you. If you run he will just give up on you. Gentlemen don't beg disinterested women. The only man who chases is a man driven by lust because he's only after something from you, not you. Your money may be, or your body. When a man loves you he wants you to reciprocate and you both get onto building a life together. Loving is very vulnerable for men. He's risking a crushing rejection and he knows to step out of the way and protect himself if he sees that you're the rejecting type. In short, mature men have no space and energy for games or hide-and-seek. They love sincerely and intensely. Your work should be to examine a man's motives and character. If he seems mature and sincere then just love him back or if you don't feel him then politely communicate so. Only don't make him string along and keep him in suspense. This is a sign of selfishness because it means you don't love him but you're buying time to do more comparisons or use him for a while.