Depression Note

Hi guys, i tried this and its very therapeutic. My eyes started sweating so much

how about a live stream tonight?

truth perhaps it wasn’t the yelling, wasn’t how you downgraded my emotions, wasn’t the way you talk shit about me; in my face or behind my back, it wasn’t how loud your voice was, which causes the red lines under my sleeves, left an echo in my brain for weeks, makes me paralyzed from getting simple task done; be it getting up from bed, be it brushing my teeth or taking a shower, as if you have the button to replay those trauma, the trauma i’ve been trying hard to bury for past years, you’re capable of undoing all that in a split second, expert in making the progress i’ve made past weeks going down the drain, maybe i hated you for that, but i hate myself more for hating you, forgetting the little things you’ve given me growing up, although those little ounce of care, little ounce of affection you’re suppressing from giving me, funny how little you understands me, how i understood your trauma and validated your bad behaviors, considering the age gap between us, you’re supposed to be my parent who’ll be there for me, yet here i am gaslighting myself into thinking what you’re doing is right, how i deserve the hatred and abuse in order for me to grow, when deep down i know i deserve more, i deserve more than what you’re giving me, you taught me how to not raise a child, taught me in order to get what i want through manipulation, “i’ve done this for you, how could you not do this for me? after all what i’ve provided for you?” “this is how you’re treating us after we gave you this?” i have to taught myself how to be a better person, i had to re-parent myself giving the validation i needed growing up, i used to look up to you, thinking how you’re perfect in my eyes, but the more i grow, the more i understood your toxic traits; manipulation, gaslighting, victim blame, the more i’m becoming you, the hatred towards myself grew, the more i’m scared to be you when i grow up.

What matters is your heart. You have a heart of gold. Now stop worrying, you're not alone.

Also, just want to add a short note. I think you deserve to rest today. You had a long day, lay down and close your eyes. Inhale and exhale while listening to ASMR. *pats your back* I'm proud of you, besties!

Hi loves! I miss you guys so much. Tell me, how was your day 🤩 We'll talk really soon, I promise you! Therefore you need to hang on <3

anyway, here's how i cope with it. might help you if you are a student like me. have a good one, fellas!

feeling a little demotivated today. who can relate?

It's crazy how a person could just say " hi " to me and my day would light up a little. It's those little things in life, that makes you forget reality for a while

hey guys, HOW WAS YOUR DAY? I had an okay-not-so-okay kind of day 😬

im feeling good today. i wish i could share this good positive energy with you now. how are yall doing?

I can't let my emotions run my life. They're ruining everything for me

These past few days, I've been so hard on myself. I don't wanna do that today. It's draining and I'm exhausted.

this is your sign to let it go. whatever it is, you're better off without it

I clean my room every time I'm stressed out. Share w me ONE ACTIVITY that you'd do when you're things get intense. Who knows, you'll help people by sharing your ideas or you can learn something new 🤓

My head hurts