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so the delay with my lab result was indeed a typo in my email. Which is why i never received it.
speaking of which, i went to the lab this morning and got my result.
And while I haven't seen a doctor yet. I already see a very concerning marker that put me at high risk with my heart.
So it might be linked to a few causes, including diabetes type B.
So it is possible that the very fast heartrate, strain, and feeling so tired and weak might be caused by too much sugar.
An other detail i might talk about is the fact that i had 3 blood test in the past during 2018-2020. my LDL cholesterol was ok on the first, was very bad on the second, and was ok on the third.
So it's possible i can revert the damage by making sure i regulate what i eat and drink.
we will see what the doctor says and the follow up.
either way, there is more than just that, and as usual, i will keep you up to date.
to conclude, i must eat healthy, i must fix my sleeping and eating asap, and more importantly, i need to continue my anti anxiety medication seriously because the added anxiety attack increase my chance of cardiac arrest.
basically, the valve of my heart is already damaged from the previous ultrasound and will continue so for as long as i continue to be in this unhealthy lifestyle.
The fibromyalgia is unavoidable, but a decent chunk of health problem are my very own fault.
either way, its never too late to try to be healthier, even if i am fully aware that its very very unlikely i will reach 60. but if i continue the way i am with no improvement, i will guarantee to never reach 50.
but hey, if i die i die, at least, a heart failure take you in a matter of minutes rather than cancer or such that fuck you over for months or even years with no certainty along the horrible permanent pain it can cause.
i just need to accept the fact that i wont live too long, but the more i stress, the less i sleep and the less i eat proper, the more likely i will make it happen sooner than later.
moral of the story, please take care of your body, your health, dont fuck it up until you reach a point were you can only minimize the damage instead of preventing them.
Life is precious...
| 2 | no news yet on my labs result. but spending the night at the er currently because of how badly in shape i am.
at least unlike sweden i am actually being investigated and helped. rather than just left to die in a room at home.
once i have further information i will post them here.
i have no idea how my heart manage to go through all this. but i am certainly far far from being healthy | 287 |
| 3 | So, My health insurance is on the go, but it will take an entire month before I get any kind of right, supposedly around the 7th of next month if i am lucky.
Right now, there was a critical test that needed to be done, and that make me quite sad, because it was 108 euro/ 116 usd.
So after the follow up next week with my doctor, i won't have any money left as today i need to buy groceries.
I have to says, 200 usd run out incredibly fast x.x
luckily, i just have one month to endure, after that, i will have my insurance covering things.
To sum up, i must get back to work this week or i will be fucked next one to afford food.
In the meantime, this was important to do because this will have a high impact on if i live or not. As i mentioned before, if the news is that bad, and will greatly impair my art, i will just give up entirely.
anyway, let's remain neutral and see how thing goes next week. I will keep you in touch all. | 456 |
| 4 | No text... | 500 |
| 5 | a lot of things happened. i will do a proper sum up once i recover. things are extremely frantic. but at least my paperwork are in progress. | 546 |
| 6 | upgrade got. bybye old shoes. courtesy of @Nightdancer who scolded me for having garbage shoes. big thank to him.
in 2 to 3 hours i willbe resuming my travel to france, and eat the remaining 16 hours or so. my body is so much in pain. urff | 552 |
| 7 | so, i got 4 to 5 hours sleep. i cant feel my legs anymore, my hands are getting blisters, and the blue bag handle snapped off.
if i want to be able to continue my journey, i will need a way to replace that bag. either way, tomorrow is going to be a nightmare with how sore i am | 434 |
| 8 | 03_900_miles (1).mp3 | 442 |
| 9 | As per tradition, the music i listen every single time i travel. very relatable lyrics. to some extend | 437 |
| 10 | No text... | 440 |
| 11 | calling customer service, aparently the train from sweden to denmark is being cancelled, next one is in one hour which mean i am most likely going to miss my train which isnt refundable. i will keep updated on whats going on. thie country is really going to be a piece of fucking shit till the end omfg | 320 |
| 12 | I am using android, anyone have any decent and fun to play app for it ?
I have:
- Merge Mansion (very abusive MTX and timegates, really not fun to use)
-Terraria (without controlers, i dont have fun at all with the wonky phone emulated control)
- LoveLive (stopped playing years ago)
- Classic Sudoku (not my thing, but fun to mess with one or two grid)
- Cytus and Deemo (cant says those are my things either, played a couple time
- Sketchbook (drawing with a finger is mental, dunno how some of you manage that)
- lichess ( chess is love <3)
- evertale (forgot what was that about)
- wonder parade (lil fun rythm game, but short)
- Mindustry (rather play with a mouse and keyboard on steam)
- DemonCrawl (an amazing twist to minesweeper, though the pc is updated, phone is abandoned as last update was easter last year)
- bejewel classic (too many ads and mtx for my own good)
- Hungry cat nonogram ( one of the game i played the most next to solitaire, been going for a year now and never get tired of it)
- Pocket City 2 (paid game, a fun mini sim city with with an added first person view that have some minigames, i wish i could play this one on pc, its rather ressoruce hungry when your city get big)
- Train conductor (similar to mini subway on steam, its a puzzle game, didnt found it too interesting
- exominer ( wanted to have fun, but its very absurdly grindy, with no goal)
- Rakoo;s adventure (cute furry game about a racoon collecting flower for his loved one, its a side scroiller)
I am using dns.adguard.com as a private dns setting, work like a charm to disable almost every ads in most aps.
So if you have anything to suggest, do let me know. Though I rather prefer free gme apps over paid one as i cannot buy them
i forgot how i got pocket city with my ex, but i believe i made him log on my account to buy the game. and i dont think you can gift them in any shape or form, unless you use a google play gift card.
either way, if you have a fav app you like to play, let me know and comment the name here and why you like it, i am curious, maybe i might find one fun to play during the travel
(ps: try to suggest app that work offline, there is no guarantee i will have internet during the travel) | 330 |
| 13 | Travel is purchased and secured.
I will be leaving Sweden on monday 29th at 9 am.
and will be arriving in france on the 1st at 5 pm.
I will be stopping in germany where i will be sleeping at Nightdancer place to regain some energy.
First travel will be 10 hours long, then a 24 hours rest, before i eat 13 more hours of travel
this is going to be a very long exhausting time, but one step closer to getting medical attention.
A big thank to all of you who contributed for the ticket and also Bocephus for helping with the payment clearing (i had to send him the funds for him to buy the tickets since my paypal was causing trouble from the lack of tied bank info)
The challenge will be the change in paris, with the terrible metro system and 3 massive baggages to haul. but its only a one time thing for now.
I will give update as things goes. can't wait to be one step closer to figuring out what the fuck is wrong with me and getting the medical attention to attempt in fixing things | 339 |
| 14 | even though paypal is an option, the website refuse me to pay because paypal ask me to add a bank info to my account....
i have the fund available, they are set as primary in the currency they are asking, and yet they dont let me pay because i dont have a lin ked bank,
That some fucking bullshit, why do i need a fucking bank to buy a ticket when i have more on my balance than they asking for... jfc
anyone here would be willing to help me buy the tickets, i can send you the money and have you purchase the ticket for me or something, i am not sure what else i can do | 74 |
| 15 | Travel is secured, now i am just dealing with the last details to plan the route.
Because the route goes through the netherlands, i am trying to plan a time to stop by my old living place there and pick up some of my belonging i had to store 7 years ago.
The reason why it is important to me is not because of the stuff itself, but also because i would be able to potentially get some sleep to make the trip easier.
We are talking about 14 to 17 hours to get to the netherlands, and then 9 to 16 hours to get to france.
I wish i could go by plane, but I am not going to spend 2 times 900 usd for a ticket, limited to 20kg, which wont fit my computer at all, only to end up having to spend another 100+ for a case, 200+ for a power supply, and whatever a monitor cost.
So going by bus/train really is the most effective albeit long way.
Once i have the time scheduled, i will be posting it here, so you will know when i am leaving, and when i will arrive, along any update that will arise during the trip.
I won't disclose the exact location of where i will be, though saying which city is fine as per privacy to the person sharing their place for me.
Either way, thank you for your support, and i don't know where i would be without you all.
I really can't wait to get better and get back to work like i did last years, i had so much fun drawing, i want to get back to that position. which is why i am returning to france.
Being born there will make the healthcare incredibly easier than anywhere else (other than the very painful process of getting thing started)
love you all! | 370 |
| 16 | Current travel goal: 0/500 | 410 |
| 17 | https://ko-fi.com/chelseachamberlain
Greeting everyone, I have set a Ko-fi goal of 500 to make sure it cover all travel expenses.
I am currently located in sweden and wish to return to france right after the weekend.
I will have to take either bus or train with 4 changes, for a rough total destination of 25 to 27 hours as i am unable to take the plane because of my poor health and the lack of baggage weight.
As my situation become more and more critical, I have wasted most of my income into medical care when I can benefit of a free health insurance in my home country, so it is time that i go back there and get treated appropriately.
As you noticed in the past, I really hate asking for help, but this time I am given no choice as i am now in a dangerous situation if left untreated.
A friend by the name of Groovy gave me the opportunity to crash at his place for 2 months, which should be enough time for me to get my health insurance and medical care started.
As usual, I will be posting all the information here, along the trip cost and such.
IF you rather have a commission, keep in mind that if you decided to pay now, it will take some time before i can get started on your work.
The objective is to get healthier, fix my health, and resume work without swooning every hour and feeling awful with so much pain.
If you rather not use Ko-Fi, you can DM me and i will send you my paypal email for direct donation/commission.
Make sure to leave a DM or note to me if you donate, so I can personally thank you.
any question ? feel free to ask me.
Thank you for your support. Once i am settled back to my home country, it will def be a million time easier to get all the help I need with the government (other than how slow and difficult they can be, still better than nothing at all) | 442 |
| 18 | So, I have found a place to possibly crash in my home country. Which is available for a couple of months, hopefully enough to do my health insurance and such in order.
Right now, i don't have enough details yet, but if it happen, it will happen by the end of the month.
I will have to calculate the price of the travel and the various expenses when over there.
The food cost should not change, what i am worried about is the flight and minor expenses, such as bus and what not.
But at the end, taking care of my health and having the proper medication to get better is a great long term investment.
especially if it help me to continue my artwork and such.
we will see, i will update when i have better info once i wake up tomorrow, too tired, i am going to bed for now.
nini | 500 |
| 19 | making a note here, this is a last will and testament letter, not a suicide note. | 471 |
| 20 | I wanted to make this as formal as possible, but i am not good at it.
I hope this message finds you well. With recent developments concerning my health and its progression, both physically and mentally, I feel it's time to address a matter I've contemplated for quite some time.
I am hereby making a public announcement regarding the fate of my original characters (OCs): Chelsea "Chamberlain" Sarsis, Chance Chamberlain, Sebastian Knight, and Sha Knight.
In the event of my passing, Chelsea will be entrusted to @Nightdancer (Nightdancer), with the stipulation that she remains freely accessible to all for creative use.
The remaining characters will be distributed among my cherished friends under similar conditions. Any individual is permitted to feature them in any artistic, literary, or media form without prior permission, provided they do not claim ownership.
Specifically, @MoneyWonder (Fang Knight), @Yapity_yap (Esan Husky), and @Xshinarai (Xshinarai) will assume ownership of the respective characters. Please note that their handles may change over time, and updates will be provided accordingly.
I have appointed @HwolfW (Leal) as my designated caretaker, responsible for managing my financial affairs, including PayPal, email, Discord, Telegram, and other relevant platforms. Rest assured, he will only access these accounts in the event of my passing, maintaining the confidentiality of any ongoing conversations.
Leal will also oversee the distribution of my art files and relevant materials to the appropriate recipients upon request and at his discretion.
Furthermore, my computer, excluding the hard drive and graphics card, along with other personal belongings, will be entrusted to Fang. These items will be auctioned to settle any outstanding debts. The graphics card will be returned to @Thephilosoph1 (Tito) until any debts owed to him are resolved.
Regarding outstanding commissions, Leal will manage my PayPal account and initiate refunds wherever feasible. If a refund becomes unattainable due to a negative balance, affected commissioners will be notified to pursue alternative recourse through PayPal.
This message serves as my official last will and testament and will be periodically updated as circumstances evolve.
In the interim, while I remain present, I retain sole ownership of the aforementioned characters.
For any inquiries, please feel free to contact me directly at @chance1080.
-----------
To summarize, in the unfortunate event of my passing, Leal will administer my accounts and ensure the appropriate distribution of assets. My characters will be entrusted to close friends, and outstanding commissions will be addressed through refunds or alternative arrangements.
Thank you for your attention, and I wish you all the best. | 473 |
