MkNotes

Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?" The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in." The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?" The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery." The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?" "Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back." The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man. "Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says. The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car." The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!" #Speediing https://t.me/MkNotes/377

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!". Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!" The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!" https://t.me/MkNotes/376

#Soccer #Wife

👆👆👆👆 Check Her English 1970 Born in Slovenia 1988-9 University of Ljubljana 1996 Moved to New York 2001 Green Card 2005 Married Trump 2006 U.S. Citizenship 2017 The U.S. First Lady

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, DrunkenBoys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!! Thanks, Joe Luckystrike Dear Joe, This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but and up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Failures (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a support application with Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system, especially for those of you who have not completely uninstalled Girlfriend 7.0 from their system. Best of luck, Cash On delivery https://t.me/MkNotes/371

He got the action, he got the motion Oh yeah, the boy can play Dedication, devotion Turning all the night time into the day Walk of life , Dire Straits Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies Be, bop, a, lua, baby, what I say Here comes Johnny singing I gotta woman Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay He got the action, he got the motion Oh yeah, the boy can play Dedication, devotion Turning all the night time into the day He do the song about the sweet lovin? woman He do the song about the knife He do the walk, do the walk of life Yeah, he do the walk of life Here comes Johnny, gonna tell you the story Hand me down my walkin? shoes Here come Johnny with the power and the glory Backbeat the talkin? blues He got the action, he got the motion Oh yeah, the boy can play Dedication, devotion Turning all the night time into the day He do the song about the sweet lovin? woman He do the song about the knife Then he do the walk, do the walk of life Yeah, he do the walk of life Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies Be, bop, a, lula, baby, what I say Here comes Johnny singing I gotta woman Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay He got the action, he got the motion Oh yeah, the boy can play Dedication, devotion Turning all the night time into the day And after all the violence and double talk There?s just a song in all the trouble and the strife You do the walk, yeah, you do the walk of life You do the walk of life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd9TlGDZGkI 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿 https://t.me/MKClips/105

#Tense https://t.me/MkNotes/4

What's the longest sentence in English? "I do" https://t.me/MkNotes/3

How is an English teacher like a judge? They both hand out sentences. https://t.me/MkNotes/3

STUDENT: I ain't going. TEACHER: That is not correct. Listen: I am not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now do you understand? STUDENT: Sure, teacher. Nobody ain't going.

#Police #Dont #Stand So #Close https://t.me/MKClips/102

#knack #My #Sharona https://t.me/MKClips/101

HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS.

HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS 👇👇👇👇

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which is known as 'Millennia Year Application Software System' (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS. Last week my secretary said to me, 'I'm a little nervous, I never put anything in MYASS before.' I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS. There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. This database will encompass all information associated with the business. As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, 'here, stick this in MYASS.' It will be a great day when we need data quickly and our employees can respond, 'Here it is, I just pulled it out of MYASS.'

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!