The Conscientious Observer

Sike, I just wanted to be dramatic.

The Dark Rose is the reason The Observer wasn't long gone. The day she leaves his mind, is the day the writings stop.

When I first started this project, I didn't think I'd get 10 people listening to my stuff, let alone 100. Grateful for each and everyone of you!❤️

Dark Rose 3 - Phoenix (Last stanza) But through hating you, I learned what it is to like myself at the slightest, and through distrusting you, I knew where to put my faith, and against the depth of your flames, I became the unthinkable, the phoenix that flew away and never came back.

An Ode to The Reaper I’ve walked the walk, but flunked the talk with you, and with myself, this stutter is killing me but I opt to live, as I hope to give. Privileged enough to speak, and privileged enough to listen, wasted each moment on lackluster conversations that go as follows. Who is the enemy? Where is he? How’s he free? Why’s he after me? When will he leave? ማነው ጠላቴ፣ በጠፋው ብርታቴ፣ በፈሰሰው ሃሞቴ፣ ምትክ ሃሞት ሰጥቶ ለቅጣቴ፣ ጉሮሮዬን አድርቆ፣ በረካ ጥማቴ ሲገርፈኝ፣ ሲገፈኝ፣ ውሎ አድሮ የሚጥለኝ፣ ባንሰራራሁት ልክ መልሶ የሚገድለኝ? ማነው የኔ ባላንጣ ህሊናው ተረስቶት፣ ስብእናውን እንዳጣ፣ ጨካኝ አረመኔ፣ መከራ የሚያመጣ? ማነው ይሄ፣ ሰላቢ ቀጣፊ፣ ልብ የለሽ ልምጥምጥ፣ ለሰው ዘር ቀፋፊ? The one who asks for extra fee when you’ve already paid your debts, the one who craves entropy even with peace as the agreement? Find who he is, And every part of his identity. And when you do, catch him and burn him, extirpate his remains, so not a single ligament can be retained in the ashes, he ain’t no phoenix, the fire will burn him away, and with his pain, shall we rejoice, and there’s no way he got no choice. ሲቸግር “አመመኝ፣ ሰለቸኝ” ሳይል ችግርን የሚያብስ፣ የፈጠጠ ዓይን፣ ረሃብና ቸነፈር ዘንድ የሚያይል፣ መከራ ሳይበቃ የሚደመር ስቃይ፣ ለዓይን ተደብቆ፣ መስታይት ፊት የሚታይ… You better wave your pain goodbye, stop playing the victim, it’s plain and simple, these days are ample to those who waste it with solutions, not your petty attempts in dissolution and disassociation in the name of nonchalance, weak ass motherfucker, understand, I’m already on one, you were born to thrive but you wanna suffer. I’ve walked the walk, and failed the talk, this goddamn stutter is killing me but I opt to live as I hope to give you more reasons to die, in seasons you rely on the warmth of the sun but the moon and its tides will drown you out and ruin your night, and the tsunami that crowns your heavy head will bring your worthless plight to an end. ኤድያ፣ ወገኛ። እሱን ተወው ለኛ። ካንተ ሚብስ የለም ስንል ወረተኛ ሆነህ የምትዞር፣ ወፍ ዘራሽ ስደተኛ፣ ሂድ እዚያ በጠጥ ጋር ሂደህ ተኛ። I still play the game, I know zero shame. Plenty of times I lost, plenty of times I was cost the win, but I got bailed out by the wind. I’ll thrive amidst calamity, die with immortality so reaper, don’t you dare come lecture me.

ክርስቶስ ተንስአ እሙታን በዐቢየ ሀይል ወስልጣን፣ አሰሮ ለሰይጣን ፣ አግአዞ ለአዳም ፣ ሰላም እምይእዜሰ፣ ኮነ ፍስሃ ወሰላም:: እንኳን ለብርሃነ ትንሳኤው በሰላም አደረሳችሁ፣ አደረሰን!❤️

It's been a year already?

Apathy 2 Tolerance, apathy, death I don't know which is worse. Being heartbroken and still being able to love, or never feeling a whiff of heartbreak and being apathetic. Lately, I’ve been living way more existentially than I have any right to. I can sense my palpitations, palpate the nitty gritty of life, every detail seems to have a newer devil, and it gets worse the higher the level. Thoughts of you add insult to injury. I have parts of me that left with you and never came back. I can name a few but then I remember you probably wouldn’t listen, you never did, you never do. Why I write to you will forever remain a mystery. I hate how I learned dark arts and alchemy, from you, burning bridges and breaking tables, when push came to shove. I thought I could move with my stomach wide open for the world to see, until you infested every part of my intestines and had to close it down a bit. I loved you when I thought there were parts we shared, till I saw you were always a parasitic cyst, trying to exist within until you’re left with nothing to ingest. Maybe I thought it was a good idea, surely, I was a fool. I was part of your plans until I fulfilled your demands. And now I’m left to stand a broken shell of an already-broken man. I’d lie if I said I didn’t miss what I thought you were. But what you are? I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But aye, at least the moon looks pretty tonight!

Sike. It's all because of someone's dumb opinion.

I've had numerous muses but if I can pinpoint on the major theme behind my writing, it is anger. A simple frustration, a minor inconvenience are usually enough to have me go off. But this excerpt is actually based off of one of my biggest existential frustrations.

Crypto Alchemy Cover the base of your head hide your face from the braindead evil eyes ready to pounce. Choose the place to make your small bed just to end up dreaming of laying on the king sized one. Lies I can predict them, but the shrines you call your refuge make it hard for one to depict them. Dress accordingly. From your head all the way to your toes. Cover yourself with the cleanest of clothes. Hide your abrasions and contusions, the brazen tattoos you dare not lose no matter what. Go to the masses, but be apathetic to those who pray for you. Keep lying to yourself, and act faithful to the truth. Divine sequence was never on the bucket list for your explorations within the realm of this dogma. Befriend the Good Scripture, but do what Brutus did to Caesar, stab it in its back, attack every intricate wordings of its body, and change it to your version, adulterate and butcher it, preach it to the masses, in spite of the backlash, and thrive amidst the chaos. How your calloused tongue speaks this well, they’ll never know. But when they do know, you’ll never speak again. Do you follow the rules? Or do you make ones that follow you? What’s the point in trusting a God when your actions tell that you want to be one? Tell me what’s your excuse to be this audacious to be this shameless? What happened to being courteous? Have you really no couth? Stand for your choices, sleep on every truce, command the hateful voices that lead them to the noose. And don’t you dare lie to me. I can tell this is what your subconscious needs over anything else of some use. For, as genuine as you seem, and as genuine as you look, you won’t abide by the truth, if it don’t align with yours.

https://youtu.be/3iryO17YBCc This is a two-piece video made from two twin concepts - willful delusion to the dark side of the earth that ends with an ominous note (My head is empty) vs full acceptance of one's intrusive thoughts as well as cynicism that ends with a hopeful note (Pugilistic). There is a an excerpt titled "Questions" between the two works and it was written last year and I used it as a transitional piece. Hope you guys like it!

Ight:(

How we feeling today folks? Talk to me.

Hehehehe

And a short memo, if you're having a tough time, get hydrated. It won't make a difference per se, but at least you won't be going through a lot WHILE dehydrated.